Please help..... I'm so lost!

Welcome to the Forum @skintandsad,

It sounds like things have got really tough. I’m so sorry to read about the situation you’re in. The bright side of things is that you’ve admitted what’s going on, reached out and asked for help. This is the first step in recovery, you can start making the changes needed.

I’m sure the other forum members will offer support and advice from their own experiences, which is so valuable and helpful. I strongly encourage you to contact our advisers on the Helpline (0808 8020 133) or Netline (webchat) www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now, the service runs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, so there’s always someone available for you to talk to. They will be able to discuss your situation in detail and offer support and advice tailored to your specific needs, helping you come up with a plan of action. There are tools and strategies they can suggest to help you stop gambling, and there is free 1-to-1 treatment available that they can make a referral for.

Regarding the debts you mentioned, there are debt charities who are set up to help people find solutions to making their debt more manageable. You can find details of some of these here:
www.stepchange.org
www.nationaldebtline.org
www.payplan.com/gamcare

There is so much support available, please get in touch so we can help you decide what your next steps should be and come up with a solution for how to get you home safely. You are not alone in this.

All the best,

Elizabeth
Forum Admin

Hi and sorry to hear of the tough situation in which you find yourself. Iv'e been doing similar for the last 25 years, its been crushing me to. I suppose one positive is that you have only got another 6 days to survive until you get paid again.

Your gonna have to have that difficult chat with your landlord. If you sign up to Gamstop it will stop you gambling online.

The yearning for the winning high is the addiction in action. The chemistry of your brain has changed. You have an addicts brain. The only thing that has ever helped me to an extent is running and exercise. A natural high without the financial consequences. Whatever you do, fill the void with something else.

Keep reading and posting

Please keep us updated of how you are doing. 

Oh my friend I have been in your shoes. What I did was I asked from a friend for money to pay the rent and since that time I havent gambled or borrowed. After few months I left the Uk too. Now I live in another country. I never talked to anyone or have told anyone about  my problems with gambling. But now two years I am gamble free. I suggest you talk to a friend and tell him your problems or the landlord, or ask for money from a close person return the money and say NO to gambling. FOREVER  You are still young you have another 30 years to work. And in 30 years you gonna make more money then you need. But we have to take care of our health and find the source of unhappiness that led us to gambling. Money will give you comfort but not long lasting happiness. You dont have to show for your 34 years. Life is not a race. You stop comparing yourself with others. We all have different paths. Please dont be ashamed. Its very consuming and vicious cycle. Protect yourself with whatever you can and keep in touch with family. You are going to be fine. Just give it time. Nothing heals past like time

Posted by: SkintandSad

Hi All,

I'm not sure where to start or who to turn to, as It's not something I can talk about with friends, all I know is that I am sitting in my office at 10pm on a Friday night alone crying into a cup of tea in the semi darkness when I should of been home 9 hours ago.  You see, I got paid my weekly wages today at 12.00 lunchtime - £300.00 and by 7pm I don't have a single penny in my bank account, I have spent the whole lot of it online gambling - virtual dogs!!! I'm absolutely furious and so upset with myself for messing up continually... My rent is already in arrears, I have huge amounts of debts that I want to sort and I was supposed to pay my landlord £200.00 off the arrears today on a promise, it's even more difficult as I have a house share with him (rent a room in  his house). I have never spent the full weeks money in one go before.... Close to it, but always had a few pounds left for necessities.... I hate it, I feel trapped, overwhelemed and extremely bloody sad right now that I'm 34 and don't have a single thing to show for it, because every penny is frittered away continually. Every week I think "This will be the week that I actually have money in my bank come my next pay day".  This has gone on for 2 maybe 3 years now, it's crushing me! 

I've hit my wall with a major full speed crash, I'm in such a mess, this is horrible!! I don't know what to do! Obviously crying into a cuppa isn't going to help nor work! I don't even have enough money to get home tonight so i'm just going to rough it out in the office tonight and hopefully by morning i'll have some kind of an idea or plan of what to do and how to do it. 

What's your advice? How do manage to get rid of  the constant want for that 'winning high'.  It started because my income wasn't that high so I thought I could 'top it up'.... How stupid!!  How do you cope with this feeling of absolute dispair,  failure and sadness that I'm experiencing just now?

This isn't a 'wo is me post', I'm just looking for some help and advice please.

Thanks x

Hi 

I have been doing the same thing last night I went to casino and like normal lost £200 got it all back to the penny was in there from from 9 pm till 3am walked out got in car thought thank god ii go that back then on way home passed another casino before I know I'm thinking I'll have a tenner how wrong could I have been lost it all in less than a hour last night is the first night I have felt myself wanting to end it this is a horrible problem let me know if you find any thing that works 

All best

Hello Ben

I am sorry that you are having a very tough time of things. Please do contact our HelpLine on 0808 8020 133. or our NetLine and check out our website here to see all the help and support available, it is almost all free and if you are have a gambling problem there is plenty if help and support available for you.

I am also concerned that you sound very low and have emailed you separately about this, but please, if you are feeling actively suicidal do call 999 or take yourself to a&e. If you want to talk through how you are feeling call the Samaritans on 116 123 or us. 

You are doing the right thing by posting here, please do continue to reach out and I wish you all the best with your recovery.

Kind regards

Forum Admin

Hi All,

Thanks for your kind responses. It's reassuring to know that i'm not sailing this ship alone! 

I took a weeks emergency leave from work last week after my melt down and have taken the first steps on this long journey, I know it's not going to be easy and it will take a lot of patience and time but I had to start somewhere, I couldn't let it go on another week.... I couldn't sit in my office another Friday night hating myself and being angry at losing a full weeks wage in the space of a few hours.

I have set restrictions on my phone / laptop / tablet and deleted my b****5 account and I didn't know that I had the option within my online banking to disallow any payments made to gambling sites, so I have set that in place also. For the first time in god knows how long I got paid on Friday and wasn't able to go straight to b****5 the minute I was paid.... I actually had my wage still in my bank when I got up this morning! I thought I was dreaming! 

Over the past week or so, I've taken a bit of time out to come to terms with everything, I've cried... a lot, and paced a lot aswell as I didn't know what to be doing with myself and hated myself for being so stupid over the past few years with money, but what's done is done, I can't change the past but can change what I do going forward. I've spoken to my landlord and told him I had some money problems and agreed an affordable repayment plan with him over the next few months, I don't know why I felt like I couldn't go to him sooner as he was lovely to speak to.

I have put together a list of all my debts, which when added up was quite chunky and overwhelming but I have made contact with StepChange for some help on a payment plan. 

My question is... how do you fill the void? What do you do to stop you thinking about 'getting that fix?'

Thanks for reading -x-

Hi - Write down how you felt before you started gambling and how you felt in your darkest moments.  The difference for me was stark - I thought I was unhappy before but not even close to the despair in the bad times and the enormous pain and regrets now.  Write those and make a point of going to them as often as you need.