Hi. A devastating relapse today where I started with nothing, won big then promptly lost it all. I get paid next week and cannot do this to myself again. I have to get off this ridiculous rollercoaster where one minute you feel in control and the next back to absolute shame and ruin. A win cannot be controlled if you’re a gambling addict.Â
Don't be too hard on yourself. Having a big win is a disaster if you have a gambling problem. You are not alone.
You win and get a massive buzz, your mood lifts think it will solve your problems and you are lucky.Â
But actually you think you can now gamble with the winnings... You lose and then end up chasing the lost winnings. It's a win/win for the gambling company.
The worst think for me was winning a few great slot wins at the end of 2021... It lead to a nightmare 2022 of compulsive gambling loses and wins... Anxiety and sleeplessness ending the year with debt and anxiety meds.
Pick yourself up and dust yourself down. Tomorrow will be better. Get some restrictions in place to stop you chasing those loses.
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@thebean  Thanks . Great advice , i need to get things in place before paydayÂ
Hi
Every one of my relapses was very painful
Yet every one of my relapses was a lesson to learn from.
If I was willing to learn from it.
Sadly when I walked in to the recovery program I would not identify how much pain I was causing my self.
There were the wording that an addict is a very selfish person.
Then I understood I was not a selfish person, I was how ever a very very selfish destructive person.
By winning money I just prolonged the pains I was causing my self.
The fears of being honest were huge.
Yet I got to understand my self more listneing to therapies and learn of my emotional vulnerability.Â
The gambling establishments never stole my loney I gave it freely.
The gambling establishments never lied to me I lied to myself.
Handing over my finaces was very hard thing to do.
When I did so I felt like a littel child who was being punished and caused pains.
Only once I valued and respected my self and money could I learn to trust my self with money.
Even though we know we are on a ridiculous rollercoaster it is hard to make alternative choices in our life.
To exchange unhealthy reactions to ehalthy interactions.
To exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits .
Living in shame guilt and ruined, is very painful.
A win just prolongs our pains and fears.Â
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
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