Hi I've recently moved away from my kids and partner to make savings for a house with new job.. I excessively gambled before and stopped online for 2 years bevaus knew I could be caught... I now have spent around 500 pound in the last 7 weeks using cash withdrawals and visiting slot machines although I'm not in hardship I feel awful and immense guilt and self pity... as much as I want to come clean she said if I did it again we would be finished... I have made steps like reducing withdrawal limits and self excluding now from betting shops but I needed somewhere to say it as I feel sick with the thought of losing my familyÂ
Hi Adam, although I’m quite inexperienced on the recovery level, I do whole heartedly believe that you can get through this, with you family by your side. They say ‘they’ll find out one day’ but perhaps when that time comes you’ll have sorted it out. I believe the focus needs to be set on your family and your love for them will force you to stop. Perhaps, if you feel the urge to gamble, you could call your partner and children or, more beneficial to them, the money you intended to gamble away, put it in an account for your children. We’re here because we understand that it’s easier said than done but with a little willpower and the reminder of the feelings you get in the aftermath, you can and will overcome this. Have faith in yourself, we’re here for you.Â
@adam-cotterill You are caught in a difficult situation because if you do the right thing and come clean you have a better chance of helping yourself to stop but you run the risk of your wife leaving you, whereas if you keep it a secret you run the risk of the secret/lies growing and you keep gambling because you need to try to fix the problem.
In the scheme of things £500 loss over a few weeks isn’t necessarily financially damaging but the fact that you have betrayed your wife is the important bit.Â
In my experience, I always used the excuse that my wife would leave me if I told her and it always got worse. She would have wanted me to tell her at the start and get back to getting help rather than allowing it to get out of hand again.
Having made all the mistakes associated with relapsing and family relationships, I believe that in order to help yourself you have to put yourself first and that honesty is the best long term policy. It might not feel like it now but if it allows you to get the help you might need then I would tell her sooner rather than later.
Chris.
Hi,
I came clean today and though i feel awful today I pray she will forgive me but I couldn't go on with the feeling eating me inside.
I really hope it is the right decision
AdamÂ
@adam-cotterill You’ve done the right thing, however it turns out. I hope you can now get support openly and hopefully give your partner some peace of mind that you recognise your problem and are actively seeking help.Â
Anything I can help with please ask.
Chris.
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