Relapsed hard

I understand totally how you feel!! The problem is breaking the cycle of chasing the losses because the money is never coming back. You have to think of everything you will lose in life by continuing, that's what's made me give up for good. You need to do it for yourself and your family. It's nearly impossible to just give up overnight with no help or support & as nobody close to you knows you should really consider some counciling To help you break the cycle of gambling and find the reasons why you do it. At the end of the day you have to want to stop more than anything else or you will end up so far in debt and losing everything. At the moment you still have so much going for you and because your feeling low and gambling has taken control you can't see it. Honestly I promise with Help and determination you can get your life back on track mate for you and your family.

Goodluck mate and please keep me updated how it's going.

Paul

Hi Fringe.

There will be better placed people than me to help you on this site (I'm only 23 days gf) but all I can say is what has helped me so far is literally taking it one day at a time . Just wake up and tell yourself I'm not going to gamble today all day. 2k debt is revoverable but you have to stay strong and motivated to want a better life. Take it from someone who is £46,000 in debt . Please please please stop now . It is not too late and you can turn this around . Post on this site make it through tomorrow and see how you feel , keep yourself busy . All the best my friend I'll be rooting for you .

Hi Fringe.

You are already helping yourself and others by writing that.

You need to focus that yet again it took vital money from you and realise that if you didnt have any effective blocks you will gamble whenever the urges control you.

Nobody said it was easy but telling your wife and building up a proper support network of blocks and monitoring is better then gambling £2000... £4000.....£20000 and on down the line. Thats what gambling has in store for you.

The addiction has taken your self respect and dignity...That went a while ago and you know that every push of the button is risking your marriage.

You have it twisted but that is the addiction. Your wifes help will be invaluable and most partners are glad to help. You need to face up to it because you are deluding yourself thats is all any better with your loved ones not knowing. It doesnt work like that. Gambling will cost you your life so its not hard getting the words out compared with the depths gambling has lined up

If you think you are in a comfort zone at £2000....pay day loans etc..you arent because secrets multiply that debt many times. One day the loan companies will say no which may not be such a bad thing for a delusional addiction like gambling

No blocks monitoring and support mean you will continue to gamble under the grip of an addiction. Its up to you.

You can get your self respect back when you put all the measures in place. I sense you may not be truly ready though. I dont know your relationship but I do know that secrets are worse because you cant face up top and deal with who you are.

We understand your wife will be upset. would you be if news like that hit you? Loving partners support each other provided you hand your finances over and have a plan of action

You cant just sullenly tell her unless you have got an immediate plan of action.

You can attempt day 1 clean when you have taken other measures. Unfortunately you cant just click your fingers and think willpower will do it. If you cant get in to gamble you wont. If you dont block your addiction is winning and telling you to continue

Being gamble free is a wonderful feeling

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Hi Everyone Im new to this so I'll just give my gambling background .... I had my first bet when I was 13 and, probably the worst thing that cound have happened, it won. I say very deliberately that "it won" meaning the bet won because I definitely didnt win, it was the start of a life dominated by pschological torture. Im 32 now and up to a 2 weeks ago had completely given up gambling (for approx six months). I was so confident even cocky that that life was behind me but suddenly out of nowhere I was back in an out-of-control spiral of gambling which seen me lose every penny I have including savings I needed for an upcoming move and a chance of a better life. I am so f****n disappointed in myself and filled with anger. Im going to use that anger to stop gambling, because it worked the last time, but its forgetfullness that gets you. I forgot!!! any advice on how not to forget i suppose is my question??? because i am certain i can use my hurt to stop its just a matter of not forgeting the hurt

Hi Shanehargo, it's tough isn't it. The fact you stopped for 6 months shows you have the self control to stop, something a lot of people never achieve so I would take the positives. I am only on Day 3 and already having urges to gamble despite the fact I have depleted funds and it causes me nothing but misery overall. I am staying strong, one day at a time as they say. I'm trying to think of the bookies as thieves, stealing our hard earned money. Well I refuse to keep handing it to them. I'm determined to have a good year, gamble free. I too gambled away my savings, we have to work hard again to rebuild. Put blockers in place, I have finally found the strength to self exclude all online accounts which if really helping. Put it behind you, fresh start.

Hi Fringe

You're absolutely right, I also permanently closed my online accounts and it definitley helped. I even deleted my free-to-enter fantasy football competitions which helped to reinforce my determination. Thankfully I have enough on my plate to keep me more than busy. You're bookies are thieves, con artists. The game is rigged because they have the maths on their side. You cannot beat the maths, its a simple as that.

Gambling is Unhappiness & Not Gambling is Happiness

I am constantly reinforcing this.

I would also recommend reading The Chimp Paradox by Dr Steve Peters, its an eye-opener.

Stay Strong