I am not sure how to stop gambling, feel like I have tried everything for example self excluding myself from the apps (only to be allowed to reopen my account after 24hours) so here I am hoping I will read some reply and it will stop this person in my head from this addiction.
So I started gambling when I was 16 years old all my friends where doing at it the time, it was the cool thing to do and although none of us really won it was fun! Fast forward 11 years and here I am 27 years old and sitting on a GAMCARE forum at quarter to 12 trying to figure out a way to solve my gambling problem and juggle even more debt! It's important I mention my daughter who is my absolute world ( I once tried to carry around her picture in my pocket looking at it when I felt the urge but everytime my head takes over and says stop being stupid) , I gamble in my head with the thought of a couple of big wins and we will have a new car, new clothes, holiday etc but that never materialises all I am left with is guilt and a huge pile of debt. Almost like someone trying to lose weight I will say every Sunday night "right on Monday I'll try again" sometimes fighting the urge for a day, 3days, two weeks has been longest but then boom dragged right back into betting telling myself och it'll be fun before long that fun turns into a bank balance I cant even look at. I'll find myself waking up during the night to check my bets and general scores just to see what happening! On the outside I am a happy, caring family/friend guy but on the inside I am dying......... Im sorry that this introduction is all over the place but that is the way my head is that the moment, I've tried going full cold turkey and also tried going £10 a week neither work, this has been going on for as long as I can remember, the one thing that kills coming away from gambling is not doing it for the rest of my life. To me that is like asking someone to not watch TV or stay off the phone FOREVER and that is what prevents me from stopping, I cant image my life without the opportunity of winning money or the buzz from winning which we know is unreal..... I should mention 90% of my gambling is football so as you can imagine having football available almost 7 days a week doesn't help!
I honestly don't know what else to say I am sitting here wishing I could be that 16 year old again who never had a care in the world and say don't even start because its going to ruin your life.
Hi Mickl, welcome to the forum 🙂
Compulsive gambling does that to us, puts out heads in a spin & jumbles up our thought process so that we can convince ourselves that the 1 thing that got us into this mess will get us out, it won't! Even when we win, we want more...We can't win because we can't stop! If you want tips to break the gambling (Time-Money-Location) triangle, have a look @ blocking software (k9 is free), ditch your bank card & scratch off the CVV number on your new one, speak to your internet provider, downgrade your phone, get a hobby, there's advice all round the site. If you want advice on how to dig down inside & figure out why you're dying, you'll need to try counselling (GamCare can arrange this free of charge, or your GP maybe) and or GA. I tried doing it alone for years but only when I reached out for help did I figure out how to quit.
I am the gambling product of a gambling parent & the only thing I have wanted from my mum for many years is for her to stop gambling...Children don't need holidays & cars, they need parents who are 'in the room' not away with the gambling fairies. You may not be able to tell the 16 year old you not to start but you can make the 27 year old you stop. Don't think about forevers, the only day that matters is today! Well done for having the guts to recognise you need help, now use that strength to step forwards to your future - ODAAT
Hi KO.
Welcome to the forum and you must take the fight on and reach for that born again moment. You already know it creates misery and you've mentioned key points like you didnt really win from when you first started.
You cant do this on your own and Im afraid its not just a case of thinking I will knock it on the head now. Many of us were in that stage when we thought we could do it but ended up relapsing every month every fortnight or every six days.
For 10 months I stayed in a delusional early stage and i was patting myself on the back for being six days clear like I could go and gamble again which I did.
You must start building a healthy fear of gambling and dont stand for this nonsense of them allowing you back in. Thats because some of these sites dont take their responsibilities seriously and they must abide by a self exclusion scheme
Tell them you dont want to gamble anymore, get yourself blocked then block all emails from these companies. As You really know they just want your money and they dont care if you end up on the streets. Blocks are an essential part of this and that means blocks you cant get around.
As ODAAT says children want their parents to be there for them. Youve got it all twisted up about holidays and cars but thats the addiction taking control of you.
You are ignoring the odds on football accumulators and all forms of gambling.
You do need a hard reset of a confused mind. You need to look at things in a different and healthy way. When you stop gambling your life will get much better and other things can be sorted out. Other things will fall into place in an ordered life There is help and financial advice.
Its as serious as getting your self respect and dignity back. Please give gamcare a ring as many times as you like
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Hi KO
Welcome and can I say you have made a great start by coming onto the forum and posting which in itself takes a lot of doing. As you said you wish you could turn the clock back to when you were 16 I think we would all love to do that knowing what we know now !! As people have said try and let someone take control of your finances if you possibly can and get some software on your laptop or phone or even like I had read on someone's post they were going to get a phone they could only call people and txt and not get on the internet which I thought was a great idea. I myself have got control of my own finances as my wife has booted me out because of my gambling and it's hard but I've got to manage what what I spend my money on now as things are tight at this moment in time due to my gambling. As I said welcome to this place I find it a great help I've just come on hear now after a 12hr night shift to have a quick catch-up and it gives me that reality check I need and reminds me of where I don't want to be !
"It's good to talk and take it one day at a time"
All the Best
Darren
Thanks for the early encouragement guys already feel like a massive weight has been lifted! I've woke up as determined as I was last night to quit, the comment "spending time in the room with your kid is more important than being away with the gambling fairies" really hit home, i selfishly find myself checking results even during our days out my mind is just constantly consumed by gambling. My dad is also a massive gambler he's the type to get his weekly wage on the Friday and having nothing left by the Sunday and I have always said I will never become that person but I am! I broke up with my wife about 3 years ago, we still good friends, we just grow apart was not gambling related and didn't really affect me If anything my gambling has got worse in the past year it would start heavy during the week to zero when I had my daughter but it's now consumed me 24/7 which as I said is a real killer.... thank you for the suggestions I'm going to use some of the tips starting from today! I hope yous don't mind me asking but how do you cope of getting over that NEVER betting again fear? That's what really stops me its a mental thing, the thought of not sitting down each night with an accumulator on? As I said I have my daughter, i work really hard, got a few hobbies so I keep myself busy but still the thought of a football bet still consumes me constantly and the thought of not having that in my life is like not having a TV..... Anyway day 1 here I come here's to getting out of debt and actually having money in the bank at the end of the week!
Cheers, Mick
Hiya Mick, I am a compulsive gambler on Slot machines. Like you I struggle with the idea of never again; so at the moment I have put that idea on the back burner. I started not gambling on Dec 5th, my first target was New Years Eve, when a friend and I had planned to go to the casino. Three weeks of not gambling I was feeling better about myself, and so told my friend I would rather have a meal and go to the cinema. I then decided to join the 100 day challenge...that gets me to March; shortly into the New Year I decided to go for 2017 challenge, so now my aim and commitment is to get to 31/12/17. I can't say I will never gamble again, all I can do is one day at a time, and give myself what I feel are achievable targets. At the same time I am trying to understand why I gamble, and become a better me. All the best. You can stop.....you have to really want to do so, and work at it daily.
Hi Mick
Milions of people (I am one) go through life just fine without a bet. Feeling daunted by the thought of 'never again' is the addiction speaking and it's why groups such as GA talk about 'one day at a time'. As the time from the last bet recedes the usual experience seems to be that the thoughts of betting become weaker and further apart although it's necessary never to become complacent.
If sports news is your trigger, try sticking to the highlights or next day's reports. Apart from that you've had some excellent advice above. Acting on it can virtually eliminate your access to gambling right now.
Hi KO
I thinks as Rhoda has stated it's daunting when you try to think of if like I will never gamble again in my life, but seems a lot more achievable when you break it down and say I'm not going to gamble for today, then the days become weeks, weeks become months and months become years, this is a must I think in our recovery. I always stated to my wife and others and swore on the kids life I would not gamble anymore but I now know I can't take that attitude and guarantee anything anymore but have to take this addiction/illness one day at a time and build from there ! Hope you are well and look forward to reading your posts and keep your chin up.
All the Best
Darren
Hi Mate , like you my problem is with football betting and its hard as there is football available to bet on 24/7. You have made a great choice on joining this forum as it really is a great place.You seem to be getting great advice already and it really is a case of keeping yourself busy and taking it one day at a time.
Thank you again for all the words of encouragment and ideas, I feel so much better and this forum in general is helping massivley reading some of the success stories has helped massively!! I like the idea of jumping on here and venting my frustation when I feel the itch and to go bet again. I'm fed up working everyday of my life with nothing to show but regret, I have never been more determind to stop for good and once I get over this NEVER AGAIN fear I know it will be much easier. Thanks again guys 😀
Hi KO,
Well done for finding the forum. The early days are the hardest. I can tell you that it does in time get easier. You need to believe that you can do it.
Your conversation with Lethe, Rhoda and Darren above struck a chord with me. That eternal question "how I can I go through life without having another bet" is the same question that kept me in a gambling stupor for many years.
The answer is you will get on just as well as you got on before you ever knew of gambling's addictive power. It is quite usual for a compulsive gambler to to have the feeling of yearning and loss. I know I did. As Lethe says that is purely addiction talking. Once you get over the latest loss and those intoxicating chemicals that build up in your body subside you will focus much better and after a while that eternal question should become far less daunting.
You are in very good company here with lots of kind words and open arms. Take the encouragement and support on offer and you can beat this.
Best wishes,
Mark
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