Well done Amanda your doing great! Keep it up your inspiring me! Unfortunately I had a relapse but I am trying again, fingers crossed this is it now take care x
Aw, I’m glad I’m inspiring you Freshhope! I hope we both have another GF day today. (:
We didn’t end up going on our trip due to car problems, but we’re going to go next weekend(: Still remaining strong, thought about the fact that even though it’s been 21 days without gambling, it’s been 2 days shy of a full month since I gambled online which was my biggest thing, so I’m very happy about that!
Feeling very very down today, and very ashamed. I had a dream last night I gambled again, and even in my dream I felt shame and was super upset about trying to hide it from my husband, and it was only like $20 so I’m glad even that little bit made me feel bad.. Was already feeling like c**P because of my dream, and then one of my friends called me and said that she heard a rumor about me and wanted to know if it was true.. She heard about me taking money from my old work SOMEHOW. I have no idea how.. But she has a big mouth and I didn’t want to lie to her so it’s only a matter of time before everyone else knows. I tried explaining to her that I have a gambling addiction, but you all know as well as I do that unless people have the same addiction, they don’t really take it seriously.. Anyways, 26 days GF.. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day..
I know it's easier said than done, but don't worry about those that love to talk. Just continue to focus on your family and your own health. When it comes to those that love to gossip their converstations move along quickly, they will find someone else to talk about soon enough. Those with empathy and compassion will not judge, and will not talk behind your back. These are the people you should focus your time and energy on 🙂
Keep it up Amanda, 26 days is awesome! 😀
Crossroad,
I know, it’s just hard being from such a small town. I don’t care what people have to say about me, I know I messed up and I have to deal with the consequences, I just don’t want them talking down on my family. They did nothing wrong and they don’t deserve it. But thank you for the advice! I’m going to try and do just that!
& thank you! 27 days now(:
30 days GF!
Really proud of myself. Just a quick update: still haven’t heard anything from the prosecutor. Things are going really well between me and my husband so that’s great. I’ve been having a lot of trouble with my sleep the past few weeks though, so I’m going to go get a sleep test done and see if it’s something medical they can help with. I’ve had insomnia on and off my entire adult life so I’m not new to this stuff, just sucks sleeping for 12 hours and still feeling exhausted, or not being able to sleep for two days. So hopefully I can get help with that soon!
Having a rough night.. my local cop called and left a message saying I have to turn myself in by 11am tomorrow morning. ):
amanda0324...the good thing about this is that the waiting and dreaded anticipation for you will finally be over. I guess you knew this day would come and the worry and stress of wondering and waiting is awefully hard for you. That part will finally be over and you are getting another step closer to healing and putting this whole scenario behind you. I am sorry you have to face this today but I can see from your posts how truely remorseful you are and no doubt that this will help your case. I wish you good luck
How did you get on today Amanda0324?
Well I went and turned myself in, went to court, they let me out on PR Bond which means I didn’t have to pay anything, but they put me on house arrest.. Go talk to my lawyer a week from today and then have court two days later and possibly again a week after that.. Not sure how to feel right now, just scared and worried.. ):
With all the stress and everything going on, the fact that I could potentially get sentenced to 5 years in prison, I’m still remaining GF. Thankfully!
Well done amanda0324...keep positive and more importantly gamble free. It doesnt matter what else is going on in your life...no matter how aweful or bad things are, they will only get worse if you gamble. Keep remembering that. One day at a time. All your efforts to remain gamble free will be looking on very favourably by a judge I think. And try to keep remembering what got you here....gambling...and it is not the thing that will get you out. Keep strong, be greatful that you got caught as you would still be in this gambling frenzy if you hadn't. I saw a documentary recently on a man that had stolen 1.75 MILLION from his employer to feed his addiction. Yes, he got a jail sentance for 3 year...not sure how long he served. But he said in the interview he was on the run for 11 days and when the cops finally closed in on him he was so relieved.He said the burden had been lifted as he knew he no longer had to fight this. He said that the pain and worry of what he had to face in the coming months and years would in no way be worse than the pain and anxiety he had suffered thoughout his years of addiction. He is now an addiction councellor and I cannot think of a more qualified man for this job. There is life after gambling...there is a future. Keep positive, you will get through this.
Valdab, wow that’s crazy.. Mine was about $6,500.. ): but in Michigan that can be up to 5 years in prison. I plan on paying it all back whenever they let me, thanks to my amazing husband, and hopefully me admitting I have a gambling addiction, and trying to get help will work well with me.. At my last court hearing where they didn’t know anything, he seemed really tough on me.. But seeing that someone that got his second DUI and actually injured someone only got 3 months in jail WITH work release, I think it will upset me more if I get more time than him knowing I didn’t even physcially hurt anyone.. I don’t know, my mind is just everywhere.
When will you know the outcome?
I go talk to my lawyer tomorrow, court Thursday to see if we can make a deal with the prosecutor I guess, and than court again a week after that for sentencing. ):
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