Ruined my own life ):

please god it will all go well for you...my heart hurts for you having to go through that...but you will get through it.

Thank you Valdab.. I never thought this is where my life would be.. I’ve never been in trouble before, not even as much as a speeding ticket, so this kills me that this addiction could make me do something so incredibly stupid..

I can believe that amanda...this addiction can make us do crazy things that we would never ever consider normally. I think all of that is bound to go in your favour. Yes you stole money, but you are pleading guility, are fully cooperative, you are showing remorse and have no previous convictions. And most imprtantly you are trying to turn your life around by comitting to be gamble free for a month already (longer I think). All of this will help you. Staying gamble free is the important thing. I think you are very brave and admire how how are handing all this stress. Keep strong.

Thank you so much Valdab! That really means a lot! I met with my lawyer today and she said since I have agreed to pay back the full amount, have never been in trouble before, turned myself in, and am seeking help, there’s a way better chance of me just getting a misdemeaner instead of a felony and hopefully no jail time but only the judge can decide that! She said she is emailing the prosecutor today and that she hopes to hear back about an offer before the 10th, so fingers crossed. This was the first time I met her, so I was super nervous and wanted someone who actually takes this addiction seriously, and she thankfully did. She was amazingly supportive and said addiction is addiction, no matter what it is, and they all make you do crazy things. She said she once had a client that was addicted to tanning and basically baked herself to death. /:

Thank you again, I’m trying my best to handle this as well as I can. My sleep schedule is messed up and I’ve definitely been stress eating, but I think I’m doing okay besides that. 40 days now! (:

In exactly the same situation and no idea how to stop

Smartdumbperson,

Don’t know how to stop gambling? It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. First things first, you should block all ways to do so. Ban yourself from casinos and online ones as well, put blocking software on your phone. And I would definitely let your closest loved one know so that they can help. I know that’s probably the last thing you want to do but having someone that knows what’s going on, and willing to help, is the best feeling in the world.

46 days GF!

Got the best news I could hope for today. The prosecutor agreed to drop it to a misdemeanor since we’re paying all the money back and they’re going to recommend I only get fines and no jail time. I’m over the moon right now! (:

Amazing news ! Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom to realise what’s important in life

What a result , I’m sure you have learnt your lesson and know that you have zero option to gamble anymore . You tried it, look what it did for you , it’s not for you

Hey Amanda, sorry I haven't been around for a while. I was on my rotational leave and spending some much deserved time with family and friends. I have been keeping up with your entries though and firstly and mostly importantly congratulations on remaining gamble free, day 48 today and 2 days away from another great landmark. How does that make you feel? Not only knowing you haven't gambled but personally....have you found your personal life with family, health etc has improved becaused I did. I know it takes a while for the clouds to clear but once it does it helps you to realise what is most important to you.

Secondly, although no less important...AMAZING news about the charges being dropped. That must be a massive weight off your shoulders knowing all that stress and darkness is almost over. Now you can finally move on and continue your recovery from the illness that caused you to do what you did. I wish you all the best for the future and will continue to keep an eye on your progress.

50 DAYS GF! (:

Thank you Bryan, I completely agree!

Dannyp, that’s completely okay, I hope you enjoyed your time with your family and your friends! I definitely feel a lot of my mental health getting better, my anxiety has gone down a ton and my self worth is starting to go up again.

Yes, it is such great news! The only thing that sucks is that they set the sentencing for June 20th which is over a month away and I have to remain on house arrest until then. ): But better than prison! Another thing is that my old employer wants to sit down with me and talk about how I did it so they can prevent it.. My lawyer told me I didn’t have to do it but then she told the judge that I agreed to it even though I didn’t so now I feel obligated.. Not sure what to do about that but I have over a month to think about it. Thank you for always coming back with kind words and encouragment!

Well done on reaching your 30 day gf goal!!!

I recently when on a course for work and it was talking about steps to take to help you sleep. One of the tips I’ve found most useful is keeping a pen and paper next to the bed and writing any thoughts down so you can forget about them till morning. It’s worked wonders for me.

Glad to hear things are going well with your hubby and family life.

Stay strong

Plumdoll

Amanda

One of the things about recovery is to make amends to people you have caused harm to . I would suggest that by helping your employer closing the loopholes it would actually help you . It’s completley your call but if it was me I would be doing it , kind of exorcising the demons if that makes sense ?

Plumdoll, I’ve been taking Melatonin to help me sleep and it’s been helping a lot.

Bryan, I’m more than likely going to do it, I just have really bad anxiety and it puts me into a slight panic just thinking about it. /:

Amanda it could be cathartic and closing a door on your life . However I totally understand the anxiety thing . Well done on being gamble free by the way! I’m also impressed that you are helping others on here

Thank you Bryan, I appreciate it! I’m definitely trying to make the best of this terrible addiction. But I know, I’m going to try and do it. I don’t have to worry about it until next month anyways.