Shock

Hi @rfbq09kaw1

Gambling desensitized me to money, it took me many years to regain a healthy relationship with it and to re-educate myself on its use, I literally forgot what money was for. as you so rightly pointed out money could go towards many useful things and be a tool for good, however gambling clouds your judgement and makes you become greedy.

Oranje

Its horrible.

Hi rfbq09kaw1

What step do you have in place to avoid a relapse? I understand it isn't easy, however there are measures to put in place to make it really difficult for you to gamble without having to faff about. I see you've already reached out for support, I found it helpful but ultimately I knew the responsibility was on my shoulder to take action.

Yes what your saying is correct.  Ultimately its me that has to stop.  Acknowledging i have a problem is the step to take.  Its like being a alcoholic, it all starts again.  I messed up big time.  I regret it now.

I always read other stories and think mine wasn't that bad... truth is years on my debts still come back to gambling so I'm still repaying. Gambling makes money seem irrelevant especially online when your not physically handing it over.

Theres only one winner not the player.  Sadly i havent learnt this fact.

Its the guilt and shame.  What would my dad say to me if he was still here. He would say im crazy thats true i am.  Ive always dreamed of winning big.  Perhaps gambling and alcohol dont mix.

I wonder if ill sleep tonight worrying about the money i lost.

I changed into a different prrsonality and triggered my online gambling as a distraction.

@rfbq09kaw1 

Don't be too hard on yourself. I gave up gambling very easily for a period of time between 2008 - 2017 when i started gambling again in 2018 something was different, I was really hooked, I never really wanted to quit. when I hit rock bottom in 2019 I decided to put in the blocks and ban myself; however I only did it in half measures as I left the door open to many relapses. I took my quitting much more seriously this year by making it virtually impossible for me to gamble. I ultimately had to take responsibility, I couldn't keep blaming the Banks, payday loan companies, and gambling platforms for my problem, it was up to me to deal with it.

On the national lottery website it says loads of fun, instantly win.  Thats a false statement! considering i lost.

I think the government should ban adverts related to gambling.