So this is nerve racking…

Confession time, I’m only on day 5 and very almost just gambled!! Luckily the blocks I’ve put in place have stopped me being able to, it was a moment of stupidity bought on by the free bet adverts. 
I feel awful for it which shows me it was a moment of daft mess and so glad I didn’t go through with it. 
hopefully the fact I’m writing on here now rather than trying to find another way to do it is a positive step 

Hi, well done for not gambling, the blocks really are a life saver. You don't say how you gamble but if it's online I would recommend putting a blocker on your phone or whatever device you use to access sites. I have Betblocker installed on my phone for the maximum 5 years. Also contact your bank to get them to block gambling transactions on your debit card. You can never have too many blockers.

Reading your posts you made the hardest decision 4 days ago, coming on here and admitting you had a problem. When I started out I had some counselling arranged by Gamcare which was really helpful, being able to talk to someone about everything without being judged, maybe something to consider.

You say your debt is not that great but whatever you have lost has gone. The common thread of why we continue gambling is chasing the losses when we know full well all it is doing is getting us deeper into the addiction. A big part of the recovery is accepting the loss and moving forward determined to never gamble again.

You have made a great start and, being young have the rest of your life to look forward to gamble free. Take each day as it comes, there will be many ups and downs, continue reading other peoples stories and picking up tips on coping. Remember no matter how long anyone has been gamble free everyone started on day 1.

I was where you are now and with the support of my close family, the blockers I have in place, and the counselling am now 21 months gamble free. Am I cured, definitely not, this will stay with me for the rest of my life so never become complacent that you have beaten this.

Keep up the good work, you can beat this!

All the best

Hi haystack,

You mention feeling down in the dumps, its to be expected, just battle through it. Your moods will eventually even out and you will be much more in control and have a better thought process.

Keep battling through the early days , things will get better.

@bladesman thank you so much for your kind words and a huge well done on that long gamble free! 
it’s so true that everyone starts somewhere, my gambling is online slots. I got into it from someone I used to work with telling me ‘just put a tenner on and you’ll be amazed’ and shocker, I won and I guess the rest is history! 
I’ve done my first full week gamble free and I just keep telling myself that with each and every day it will get easier and eventually the thoughts will become fewer and further between. 
thanks so much again for reading my story and replying, stay strong you’re such an inspiration! All the best x 

@lids19635 hi Lids, thank you so much for reading and responding to me! 
I’ve finally done my first week and although challenging, I feel so much better for having the blocks in place and it stopping me from falling back in the trap. How long have you been gf if you don’t mind me asking?x

Hi there , i`m 10 weeks tomorrow, previously i`ve managed 9 months.

This time around i feel so much better, more positive and better set out to deal with things.

Counselling has hit the right spot and focused me to  look to the future in a positive way, but also change other parts of my life to relieve stress ,and learn to relax more. My whole outlook on everything is forward looking and positive,and i`m much more at peace with myself.

The chat room has evolved so much since i first looked in here back in 2017 , its all geared to helping each other and very supportive,whether that be advice support or just a chat about stuff not gambling related, whereas back then there was very little traffic on the site.

The bravery and honesty of most of the contributors on here is humbling and inspirational, and just goes to show what can be achieved. 

Stay strong and look to the future. 

@lids well done you’re doing amazing and thanks so much!! 
today is my two week mark if I get to the end of today gamble free. It’s the longest I’ve ever gone totally clean and motivated and I feel great. Got the day out today to keep me busy, it’s payday Monday which is what I’m so nervous about as this is where most my wages normally go before I get chance to enjoy any of them - going to stay on the evening chats as best I can next week to help. 
well done everyone & stay strong!! 

So it’s been 15 days since I’ve stopped gambling! Today is my first pay day since, and I’m so anxious because this is normally the hurdle I fall at but I am determined not to fail. 
I have a busy day at work today to keep my mind occupied and then I’m planning my wedding so hopefully that will help tonight!! 
hope you’re all doing well ?

Hi, glad to see you are still gamble free. You know you want to do this and have the blockers in place to help. You have so much to look forward to with your wedding so stay strong and talk about how you are feeling.

All the best 

So this takes guts to admit. I’m devastated that I’ve failed and fell into a trap again! Last night I found a way round my blocks and gambled again.. 

I’ve self excluded from this site today for 5 years like the rest and hope this will be the end. There’s no other ways round the blocks so this has to be it. 
I have so much to look forwards to, I hate that I let this get control over me again for a while yesterday! 🙁 

It’s that whole ‘one more win and it’ll all be better’ mentality I have to work through and realise this is not the way. 
I’m determined to beat this, so it’s time to be honest and admit I messed up and start over again. When this has happened before I’ve not started again and carried on thinking it’s fine, but I need to restart to be honest with myself and beat this. 
I hope you’re all doing well & thanks to anyone still on here reading my journey! 
all the best xo

Off to bed, day 1 completed today again. Here’s to tomorrow, another day clean and hopefully another day easier ??

@haystack0915 Thank you for sharing this with us and I hope you find this platform helpful for you and your recovery journey.

Relapse is common and you are not alone.

Please don't be hard on yourself. You have acknowledged what has happened and have got back on that recovery journey which is a positive step.

If you need any more support, you can give us a call on the Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or contact us on our Livechat. We are available 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

Wishing you all the best

Fay

Forum Admin

Had a stupid fall again yesterday but today had to be the final time I’m writing day 1 as I only want the numbers to go up!! It’s the worry of knowing the money I owe (which isn’t a huge deal but more than I would like) that keeps dragging me back but I’m trying to see that the longer I don’t gamble the better position I’ll be to sort it out. 
I can do this. I have to do this. To be better. 
Today I will not gamble. Today I will be happy. 

Hi Haystack, could you take some pressure off your debts. Only asking as if it is credit cards or loans maybe worth contacting Stepchange the debt management charity who can set up a debt repayment plan so you only pay what you can afford. They did this for me and it takes all the pressure off having to keep up the monthly payments and stops all interest being added. Just a thought

Stay strong, you can do this!

Hi Haystack, could you take some pressure off your debts. Only asking as if it is credit cards or loans maybe worth contacting Stepchange the debt management charity who can set up a debt repayment plan so you only pay what you can afford. They did this for me and it takes all the pressure off having to keep up the monthly payments and stops all interest being added. Just a thought

Stay strong, you can do this!