Starting Over Again.

Hello everyone,

I started gambling when I was 18 going into university and I got 1 big win and that was me.  I had a £5 winner on a 500/1 football bet and that was it.  since then I’ve done football, darts, horses, dogs, roulette, three card poker and more recently those virtual races.  

I’ve had periods where I’ve been self excluded online and in shops but always found a way to get a bet on once it was in my head.  I was off gambling for 3 years until July 2023 when one day I was sitting bored and I saw my football team getting beat 1-0 in the cup from a team in third division.  At half time, I ran to bookies to bet them big and they lost 1-0 and missed a penalty in the second half.  

for the last 11 months I have battled this addiction again.  Horses, football, roulette but most recently those virtual.  

I had banned myself from online and all shops within a 25 mile radius.   However when it is in your head, you will find a way.   A few days ago, I drove over 40 miles away just to find a bookies. 

1:04 I had arrived.  £250 in my hand.  By 1:12 and only 5 virtual horse races later, it was gone.   Another £250 out the bank and by 2:00 that was gone.   £100 was the last amount and it was on the 2:20 at Carlisle where it won.   

rather than giving myself a moment to realise what was actually going on, I was so focused on the next bet.  

I always tried to be smarter than a bloody computer and it would never work.  The money going up and down like a yo-yo. 

Virtual horse 3 at 33/1 for a £10.  Horse number 2 at 22/1 for a £10. Both horses did win and I had £560 in my hand from £600 I put in.   Only £40 down.  I put £500 in my pocket and I said those words in my head… £60 to £100 then let’s leave.  

£60 gone.  This was the right time to accept a £100 lose and just leave.   Not me.  Another £100.  Then another.  Then another.  

at this point you don’t care about odds or numbers.  You just look for big prices to attempt to get money back cause you know in your head you are losing it but always believe 1 big win is around the corner.  

after 4 hours in the shop, it was gone.  Driving home, thinking what on earth was that.  You start thinking about those moments where you should just leave.  You think about all those wrong decisions but you only do when the money is gone.  

It is now a few days later and I’m self excluded online, banned from shops in a 100 mile radius and time to reflect on my journey as well as reading other stories on this forum.  

Yesterday was a gamble free day.  Today is going to be a gamble free day.  Tomorrow aim is going to be a gamble free day however will take 1 day at a time.  

It feels good to just open up and write/type everything down to get it off the chest and out the head.  

Thank you for reading my story.  We might have a few things in common regarding our journeys.  We may not.  Thank you for all comments on this post. 

RC