Hello everyone,
I started gambling when I was 18 going into university and I got 1 big win and that was me. I had a £5 winner on a 500/1 football bet and that was it. since then I’ve done football, darts, horses, dogs, roulette, three card poker and more recently those virtual races.
I’ve had periods where I’ve been self excluded online and in shops but always found a way to get a bet on once it was in my head. I was off gambling for 3 years until July 2023 when one day I was sitting bored and I saw my football team getting beat 1-0 in the cup from a team in third division. At half time, I ran to bookies to bet them big and they lost 1-0 and missed a penalty in the second half.
for the last 11 months I have battled this addiction again. Horses, football, roulette but most recently those virtual.
I had banned myself from online and all shops within a 25 mile radius. However when it is in your head, you will find a way. A few days ago, I drove over 40 miles away just to find a bookies.
1:04 I had arrived. £250 in my hand. By 1:12 and only 5 virtual horse races later, it was gone. Another £250 out the bank and by 2:00 that was gone. £100 was the last amount and it was on the 2:20 at Carlisle where it won.
rather than giving myself a moment to realise what was actually going on, I was so focused on the next bet.
I always tried to be smarter than a bloody computer and it would never work. The money going up and down like a yo-yo.
Virtual horse 3 at 33/1 for a £10. Horse number 2 at 22/1 for a £10. Both horses did win and I had £560 in my hand from £600 I put in. Only £40 down. I put £500 in my pocket and I said those words in my head… £60 to £100 then let’s leave.
£60 gone. This was the right time to accept a £100 lose and just leave. Not me. Another £100. Then another. Then another.
at this point you don’t care about odds or numbers. You just look for big prices to attempt to get money back cause you know in your head you are losing it but always believe 1 big win is around the corner.
after 4 hours in the shop, it was gone. Driving home, thinking what on earth was that. You start thinking about those moments where you should just leave. You think about all those wrong decisions but you only do when the money is gone.
It is now a few days later and I’m self excluded online, banned from shops in a 100 mile radius and time to reflect on my journey as well as reading other stories on this forum.
Yesterday was a gamble free day. Today is going to be a gamble free day. Tomorrow aim is going to be a gamble free day however will take 1 day at a time.
It feels good to just open up and write/type everything down to get it off the chest and out the head.
Thank you for reading my story. We might have a few things in common regarding our journeys. We may not. Thank you for all comments on this post.
RC
Hi mate well done for reaching am currently 337 days gamble free and u can do this too i had similar thought process as your and happened many times if you had gone your money back your brain would have said u spent x amount of time make abit of profit then leave and even if that did happen i would take the profits back the day after and think to myself lose it i still have my money however as i carried on the losses are bound to come and i now believe if i won every penny back plus double the amount their no way in hell i would be able to keep one of the reasons it took me to long to understand this i had those win or shall i say lucky escapes and even manage to win however i got worse and worse at keeping it and i now understand as a compulsive gamblier i simply cannot bet and the only way of winning is keeping far away from the industry as possible
Hey mate, well done for opening up. It’s funny to read as you know exactly how stupid this addiction is, but I bet you would do it again! That’s the crazy thing about this addiction. We have all been in this spot, and we have all repeated the same ridiculous actions knowing it will lead to nothing apart from being broke.
It’s great you feel better opening up. Now’s a great time to commit to getting help. This forum is great for help, and the GamCare folks are brilliant. It’s a scary thing to start this journey but well worth it. Take all the help you can get. Be honest with yourself and others and let’s beat this together.
Stay strong 💪
Can really relate to your post pal, I am just the same and really completely lost with what do? My main issues are online gambling just can't accept the idea of going cold turkey on gambling 😒
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