Struggling with gambling

Hi Mo sorry to hear that. It makes life so tough with this illness. Can say the usual stuff barriers etc, access to cash etc. But you need to take one day at a time. As a compulsive gambler it's trying to understand the value of money. I too lost yesterday £850 after a good run but we can't stop can we so we will never win..... Dont be too hard on yourself easy to say I know. You must do something about this now.

I to lost alot of money and feel so guillty, ashamed and in despair. I miss my old life before l started gambling. I look back at how happy l was and now l am so miserable, anxious and want to get back to my old life. What started as leisure has now taken over every aspect of my life, has got me in to massive debt, l do not know where to start.

Olivia sorry to hear that. The main thing to start is putting blocks in place and limiting access to funds. Then go about a plan as you will read on here. Don't try and tackle all your problems at once. We HAVE to accept the money is gone or we will only exasperate the problem. How much have you lost? Don't worry you don't have to answer that but might help to get an idea on scale of problem. Gary

Thanks for your advice. I wish it was easy to stop but I am struggling with the addiction. I am going to take it one step at a time. I am concerned that if I get down my only route then is to gamble.

I lost about 750 which was for essential bills, the usual, if l have one last win, then l can catch up on my bills. Now l have only made it worse. I have exhausted all avenues financially, l now live in dread of surviving next few weeks, feeling ashamed. I know this cannot continue, and need to stop.

• Hiya all...I think the first thing is to decide whether you are looking to control your gambling, or whether you want to stop one day at a time for the rest of your life...then you have to commit yourself. I am no expert... A novice in fact...but I see the same advice on here repeatedly...
• Tell someone....partner, spouse, friend....keeping gambling a secret leads to lies and self loathing
• Stop your access to money...either cash or debit cards..if your wallet/purse is empty, or you have no debit card to deposit online, then you cannot gamble.
• You may need to give someone else control of your accounts, or at least a view of them, so that you are accountable.
• Do not chase your losses, cos even if you did win, you would only gamble again until you lose, as they say...you cannot win because you cannot stop.
• Get blocks in place. You can self exclude online from casinos, there is blocking software and parental guides for computers...make it hard for you to give in to an urge to gamble.
• Gamcare offers free counselling to help you address the cause of your problem. Gamblers anonymous offer group support, look up a meeting in your area. There is support on here in the form on chat, diaries, a phone number, a net line.....use them when you are tempted to go and gamble.
• As I understand it, compulsive gambling cannot be cured, but it can be controlled...it is up to you.

Hi Mo70.

It takes focus and consideration until its more clear in your mind. Your mind is cloudy with the addiction and until it is clear you will continue to gamble. The amounts you lose are disasterous for you yet the addiction thrives on its chemical buzzes and persuading you its all going to come right next time. It isnt based on the odds and the fact you may be a compulsive gambler playing for all sorts of reasons

Its so serious that you need to tell your partner and be living on an allowance. If you dont take steps like that its a clear sign that you arent ready to stop you need it as a crutch and just actually want to stop losing.

I was a hopeless gambler...compulsive and I played for escape from life. I couldnt stop and I couldnt walk away. After an all time low I finally realised I needed to DO something about it. Yes I had previously been embarrassed that a grown man was out of control and addicted. I had all the excuses for not self excluding and in reality I didnt want to stop at that stage. However there is no shame in admitting it and Im so glad I started sorting it out properly.

Its not an income scheme but a random game of chance heavily stacked against you. Nobody would go to work if it was easy money and thats the way I mainly think of it now.

There is no system to beat roulette and even Einstein said that. Its all risk and the truth is I would have had to risk huge sums of money to make the sort of return that would have made a difference to my life. Money I couldnt risk. I used to watch them spread betting in an all night casino and it was a desperate and sad sight with a charged atmosphere, late bets and bad tempers.

The vast majority of people lose and its no James Bond film as you already know inside. I dont like losing, the money is never enough and I had a compulsive addiction to play to extinction. The solution is abstention, blocks and close monitoring.

You can do it when you take the right steps. Its a born again moment and there is no room for half measures. proper blocks must go hand in hand with counselling and therapy.

Being gamble free is a wonderful feeling of freedom and serenity.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

I want to stop forever, l now realise l have a habit. I have kept this a secret for 3 year, l hatevthe person l have became. I have let my family down so bad, and lied about money etc and now have debt l did not used to have and bills piling up that need paid. Most of all l know l am not emotionally available and let my children down badly. I want to regain control of my life and get rid of these urges.

Hi Olivia, why don't you give gam care a call, or speak to an adviser online. If you look at the forums homepage and go on to chat, you will see the times of chat today...everyone is really supportive and will give you tips...we've all lied, all let people down, most have debt, know the self hate...so you won't be on your own. I've got to go to work, hopefully catch you on chat tonight.

I am struggling to stay focused and keep thinking about the losses. I am now staying withdrawn from my own family

Hi guy's and welcome.

The early day's are always the pits.
Letting go of the losses is probably one of the hardest things to do. But it's the most necessary.
You can't build a future if you're living in the past.
Apart from the buzz what else has gambaling given you?
Im guessing nothing
But look at all its taken
I'm not talking money either
I'm talking from you as a person.
Start by looking at the things you can change.

Quitting gambaling is simple we've all done it numerous time's.
Staying stopped is the tricky bit

Baby steps is all it takes to get to a better way of living

All the best

Thanks for the advice. I will start with baby steps and see if I can be gamble free. But I know it's kit going to be easy

*kit = not. Sorry auto correct

Hi mo feel free to join the 2017 challenge. Good for charting your progress. And also gives a good chance to meet the community
Strength in numbers
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/2017-challenge