Support Needed

Hi shorty and firstly welcome back to the forum .

Look if youv'e been here before then your probably quite aware of the way things work regarding addiction thriving on secrecy and you are right about it being about the buzz , but I must say that your attitude is quite dissmisive of tried and tested Tools of recovery .

Most of the diary's of people on here all use those tools to maintain a gamble free life and that includes being honest to our nearest and dearest , keeping the time money location triangle broken so you can't bet and finding new interests / hobbies that take you away from focusing on gambling , you said you'd invested in shares but surely thats just another form of gambling and maybe it would be better to look for something that gave you a buzz in a different way ?.

I'm sorry for coming accross negative but just maybe the lack of attention to these matters is why its not working so far ?

Recovery is possible as many on here are testiment to but only with hard work and commitment to stopping .

Just my opinion of course and only you know whats best for you .

Best wishes ..........Alan

Thanks for you comments Deano. It is online roulette that is my poison of choice. I don't really do anything differently to before I started gambling. I still have a good social life, I go to the gym, I watch box sets, I have a job....the problem is I have a mad moment every now and again that leads to a 2 day gambling binge. It's almost harder to quit when it's a binge because you sort of tell yourself 'oh i've been good for a couple of months, sod it'! It's pure mental torture of the worst kind.

You're completely right Alan. I think I have just given up giving up and I need to get back to a frame of mind where i put all the blocks in place. to be honest, the investing in shares thing was an attempt at a block believe it or not. If all my spare cash was invested then it wasn't available for gambling and this has limited my losses this time round. but it is not a long term solution, i know that. but telling my husband is not an option, well it obviously is but it's not a road I am willing to go down. so it is back to the time, money, location triangle for me. and the first thing i will do is start leaving my debit card in work drawer and just start carrying cash. I don't think i have ever stepped foot in a bookies so I am safe with cash.

For the first time in 8 years I logged on for some online counselling. I have other issues that I won't bore you with on here but it felt good just to get it all out and start asking questions. As much as I love the buzz of gambling I also use it as an escape route from the other S**t going on in my life. Maybe if I can sort other the other b****x out I wouldn't need my 'mate' gambling so often eh.

Thanks for your comments guys.

Hi again shorty and I'm glad you took my post as it was intended , " well meaning " , I think we all use gambling as an escape route to some point , I know I did and I suppose the fix is to find something else that satisfys that need , Life I guess ? but I think it just takes time to recondition ourselves to come back into the real world and deal with all the shi.te head on !.

Hope the counciling works out for you and gives you a few answers .

Talk to you again soon and best wishes >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.. Alan

My husband didn't tell me, I found out after he cleared out the children's savings. The same urge that makes it hard for you to stop propelled him to do the unthinkable - it took him about ten years. Then he spent another six or so covering up whilst he didn't manage to win it back. And no doubt along the way he enjoyed the same buzz that you do, at least to start with.

It's no fun being taken for a mug, the financial loss is galling but the deceit is worse. The children's foundations were rocked at discovering exactly what their father was had been doing behind our backs, the extent of his deceit to them and me, that his remoteness, mood swings, tenancy to blame everyone else had the cause that it did.

Suppose you OH had an affair, thrived on the buzz, you didn't need to know what you didn't need to know, he wasn't really putting your health at risk ...what would be the difference?

CW

Hi there

Am new to this site and this forum seems like a good place to start. I am 20 years old and as with post people, got into gambling when I first turned 18. I remember the first time I walked into a bookmakers, placed a £5 accumalator and missed out by 1. I remember this clearly because that £5 then turned into 10 the next day, 20 the day after etc.....

2 and a half years on, I know find my life hanging by a thread.I have dropped out of university because it was not working for myself, I had too much free time on my hands which was spent on gambling. In total I have lost over £10000 on gambling. I have even turned to theft from my parents at some points along the way.

With my type of personality, I want to have what my parents have at the age of 20 going on 21. I gamble for the money, I believe I can win and fund my life through gambling. How wrong I am. I have had counselling, but this works only for a short time and if it is intense enough. As soon as I dropped private counselling from 2 to 1 session a week, there were issues arising everyday that I couldnt seem to deal with on my own. I think I have bad anxiety, as when ever a small problem arises, such as missing a deadline due to being ill, I do not tackle the issue head on, instead I gamble to get away from the issue.

I am currently considering a rehab clinic abroad, where I can get back to my confident self through routine and an active lifestyle. I was just reaching out on here for any tips/ reassurance on how other people maybe my age have got through this and come out the other side a better person.

Thanks for listening

Charlie

You seem to have taken the first step of getting help by coming on here for advice. I would suggest you actually write down a list of what you need to do to get you out of this vicious circle. The following may help you start off that list: To contact a gambling advice group - which you have bravely done. If your debts are so enormous the first thing to do is stop them getting any bigger - and I know this sounds hard - but if you have a close friend or relative please tell them about your gambling problem and ask them to take control of your finances so that they can see what you are spending each day. Then contact a reputable debt management company and they will advise you on how to sort your loans and arrange reasonable repayment plans. Take the advice of this site and keep a diary and count the days you do not gamble - you will get more satisfaction out of ticking off another day of not gambling than the heartache of the consequences of getting into more debt. If you are working I expect you have to be organised in your job and have projects to deal with - so treat this as a project to get your life back on track. I think you sound bright and resourceful and I have high hopes that you will take notice of this advice even though you are probably exhausted with all the stress. Maybe, when you have worked through your list and got some of these things done, maybe that will be the time to talk to your husband.

I wish you all the luck in the world and hope you will very soon start to enjoy your life again.

Hey Charlie, thanks for posting 🙂 means alot. If you have the chance to go to a rehab clinic TAKE IT! I wish I could do that but with two kids, a husband and a job there is no way I would be able to manage that. I actually feel that the Americans have it all right when it comes to therapy - over here it is seen as something you have if you're messed up but I think they have it right in the sense that it is good for everyone to just be able to have a non-judgemental interaction with someone once a week! You have your whole life ahead of you and I wish you good luck my friend. Have you started a recovery diary? I am going to start (another) one today and set myself an initial target of 100 days...how about you do that with me?

Gamparentanon - thank you for your post, I am going to do exactly what you advised and treat this as a project...many I'll even spreadsheet it as well as keeping a recovery diary so I can see how many days 'clean' I've been and how much of the debt I can pay off. My debts are enormous but I've been lucky enough to be able to get all my credit card debts on low interest or interest free rates so at the moment I can just about keep my head under water. Today I will start leaving my debit card locked in work drawer so that I can not deposit money to online sites. I will have £30 in my purse and my american express card for any purchases I need to make. I've never seen a site accept american express to I feel safe that I can keep this card.

Thanks again for all your comments 🙂 Day 3 today