Hi everyone this is the first time i have ever tried writing about my gambling addiction or trying to face upto it. Where my life is now i would have never envisaged it years ago. I am 22 years old and in thousands of pounds of debt and have a criminal record due to fraud because i had to feed my habbit, I have lost so many good friends, family members and relationships have been destroyed. It all began the day i turned 18. For years i looked forward to being 18 so i could go out for beers and stick a few quid on the footy before my own games with a couple of the lads i played football with. For a while it was fun every saturday morning a few of us would goto the local bookies and put an accumulator on for the day nothing more than a fiver. However a few months later i decided to make an online account and this, was without the worst decision i have ever made in my life looking back now. It started off as a bit of fun betting mostly on tennis matches or football. The odd ten pounds would go into my account when i could afford it and thats how it was for months. However I could feel myself spending more time on the gambling websites than i used to spend socialising but i just pretended it was a phase and i would soon stop. About a year after i had first opened an account online and this was when it started getting really serious. I was frequently putting whatever wages i earned from my job into the account, sometimes i would spend hundreds in a day and believe me this is not the worst part. This occured for a few months and by this time i had spend over £2,000 I looked at my account one day with no money and stupidly decided to try and fund my account by applying for a payday loan, i am sure you are all aware the interest rates on them? After i had succesfully applied for the first loan which was for £300 i used it to fund my online account and before the week was up the money was gone so i applied for another loan with a different company and the loan was for £500 trying to chase money i needed to pay back the previous loan. There began a vicious circle and before i knew it i had taken out over ten different payday loans totalling over £8000 without interest added. My life began to spiral out of control i would miss days at work to sit at home and try win money i didn't even have. I would spend all night on the laptop chasing money and betting on events i knew nothing about. Days would go by without me even sleeping or talking to my friends or my girlfriend. I am sure you are all aware once you get into that zone no one or nothing else matters. I hated my life my social life was non existent as i would spend spare time on my laptop locked in my room without a care for anyone else. Some days i would spend thousands because i was bored and needed to keep the buzz going. After a while the loan companies were chasing me for there money and i couldn't sleep because of money worries or staying up to try and win money. There were no loan companies left to get money off and my wages were gone soon as i got them. This is when it got serious and i started stealing to fund my habbit. One day i took my dad's debit card out of his wallet and registered the details onto my account and preceeded to spend £2000 of his money in two days. I hate myself and still do for what I did and what was to follow. My dad soon found out when the bank rang and asked about the transactions, I couldn't face upto what i had done and so i ran away and said i would never come back. Of course i did but for a day or so i slept rough because i didn't want to face upto what i did i was so ashamed and disgusted in my own actions. After a while my dad took out a £10,000 loan to pay off all the debts and over time i paid it back and still am. £200 a month for four years with one year left now. For the next few months life was good again after the events that had unfolded i felt free and without the worries of money problems or thinking where is the next bet coming from, however one day i stupidly thought it would be a good idea to just stick £5 in my account and bet again, needless to say after a while i got into debt again and this is where it got serious, i worked as a retail assistant and handled cash reguarly, I cleverly worked out away to make money on the tills without the till being down and over time i saved hundreds by doing this. I was stealing from work just to fund a habbit and this was something i never thought i would do but this addiction is a powerful thing and makes me do stupid things without thinking of the consequences. One day going into work i got called into the office and was told they were aware of what i had been doing and sacked me on the spot and got the police involved. It went to court and i was made to pay the money back and recieved a conditionary caution. Even sitting in a police cell and going to court still hasn't stopped me this was a few months ago and i am already gambling again i just don't see anyway out I go a few days without gambling but then i just get bored or think of all the time and money i have wasted and try to get a quick fix by gambling money hoping for that one big win which will sort all my problems out but so far no result and i even think if it ever does happen i will just spend it. I do not know what to do anymore I am 22 years old and feel like my life is over already and there is no life or drive in me to want to suceed in life, I had aspirations to become a school teacher years ago but that seems like a distant memory now. I can't do this anymore. Help me guys
You can't play around anymore. This is way way too serious. You need to go to Gamblers Anonymous meetings, you need to see your GP and you need professional help. You are way out of control. Good luck in your recovery journey but you need to start taking it seriously and realise the damage you have done.
The good news...it may not feel like it, but you are 22 and can turn this around if you really want it to. Writing it out as you have is a great start.
Compulsive gamblers will do horrible things to fund the addiction (trust me, I've been there). The only time I stopped was by getting to, and then regularly attending, a GA meeting. I have heard numerous variations of your story - you would not be alone, will be welcomed, and won't be judged. It's an amazing, positive experience.
If you get over to the GA website, you'll be able to find a local meeting.
It isn't easy - but you'll have to put the same amount of effort into recovery as you have your gambling.
Wishing you all the best.
Garyl1976 wrote:
The good news...it may not feel like it, but you are 22 and can turn this around if you really want it to. Writing it out as you have is a great start.
I Did turn my life around i was about your age when i did for over twenty years i had a normal life.
Find something to fill the void that you will feel when you stop for me it was computer games helped
Compulsive gamblers will do horrible things to fund the addiction (trust me, I've been there). The only time I stopped was by getting to, and then regularly attending, a GA meeting. I have heard numerous variations of your story - you would not be alone, will be welcomed, and won't be judged. It's an amazing, positive experience.
If you get over to the GA website, you'll be able to find a local meeting.
It isn't easy - but you'll have to put the same amount of effort into recovery as you have your gambling.
Wishing you all the best.
I can understand where you are at mate I've been using people's money for years totally ashamed of myself what I've done and what I am doing I'm 41 and my life is shut at the minute and I can't stop gambling.. Good luck hard work is needed
Oh my goodness you poor young soul. I am new to this site and only today did I decide enough is enough. I think that no matter where you are on your journey to freeing yourself, the people here truly understand what you must be going through. From what I understand from reading the information on this site and speaking with the support team is that making this step to discuss your concerns openly and honestly is a great place to start. I have great faith in the power of group support and I'm sure you will receive that here and if nothing else, I hope that gives you comfort. Be strong, value yourself regardless of any mistakes. Tell yourself that you deserve the better things in life your money can give you. These sites don't deserve your money,time and energy, YOU DO!.
Godspeed, OtterLady.
You can turn your life around and put this behind you but you need professional help. Your depressed state of mind will keep you gambling and your situation will never improve without seeking proper advice.
Hello Ashsmith16
Welcome to the forum. we're very glad you've joined the forum and asked for help. You've had some excellent advice from forum users and if you need any more information or support, please, call our freephone helpline on 0808 8020 133, or if you prefer chatting online, contact us on the Netline www.gamcare.org.uk/netline.
We hope you continue to post as the support you can receive from your fellow forum users will be invaluable in keeping you going down the right path.
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