Time to pack this in

Hello  Hearsley1

It is good to see you on the Forum where you will be very welcomed by others in Recovery from Problem Gambling.

I hear your frustrations, remember problem gambling is cunning, powerful and baffling and without help it is too much.

You have made a good start to your Recovery Journey and as you have stated that the first step is admitting to yourself that you have a problem and reaching out for support which you now have.  I am pleased to see that you have made a start by putting in place Blocking, it would also be wise to put in place Self Exclusion with GamStop along with the Self Exclusion from the Bookies, which you have already have in mind.  You can do this online if it helps you to not go into the Bookmakers.

SELF EXCLUSION

Restricting access to online Gambling  The UK's national multiple online self-exclusion scheme www.gamstop.co.uk

Contact GAMSTOP for help with the registration process, to update your details or to extend your period of self-exclusion 0800 138 6518 10am to 8pm, 7 days a week

Restricting access to the Bookmakers

To self-exclude from more than one Bookmaker in your area

www.self-exclusion.co.uk  0800 294 2060  9am -5pm Monday - Friday

Please also have a look on the GA - Gamblers Anonymous Website to see if you have a meeting in your area.

Gamblers Anonymous run supportive meetings where problem gamblers sit together and help each other. There are no counsellors or professional bodies. www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk

You will also find support by speaking with one of our Advisors on 0800 8020 133 or using our LiveChat option.  I encourage you to contact an Advisor who can also make a Referral for you to have some extra support with a Gambling Specialist.

Please continue to share on here, where others will share back their experience, strength and hope.  You can do this, one day at a time. 

You are no longer alone Hearsley1.

Best

Amanda

Forum Admin

Good Morning Hearsley1,

Welcome to the forum.

I’ve read your post and I feel your pain and anguish. Gambling can be brutal and has the ability to take everything from us both physically and mentally. The good news is that we can quit and life changes dramatically.

I am an addicted gambler who hasn’t placed a bet in 905 days. I was brutally addicted to roulette. My life was out of control. I could win but when I lost the losses were out of control. Basically, when in action I couldn’t stop. My last game of roulette I lost about £10k in under 2 hours. I was broken both physically and mentally.

Fast forward to today and I feel completely different. I am happy, I feel fit and healthy and I’m enjoying life. I have far more available money now than I ever did as a gambler which makes sense because hundreds would go in and out my bank on a near daily basis back then and now it doesn’t.

I am a great believer in life that changing or stopping anything is hardest at the beginning and gets progressively easier as time goes by. If you take notice of the significant changes and how they benefit you the change gets easier. That’s all I did. I stopped gambling and focused on getting fit and healthy. I threw myself into running and used the time to focus on my life and how I wanted something better.

So, I got healthier in body and mind. I started to sleep better, worry less and even got myself in decent physical shape. All the time I chipped away at my debt in manageable chunks each month even although I was in a rush to pay my debt off. As time passed I paid less each month because it didn’t stress me as much anymore which is funny because I couldn’t sleep for worry when I was in action.

I am never tempted to gamble now. I fiercely respect that gambling can destroy everything I have and take away the life I enjoy so much now. Quitting gambling gave me a good life and I won’t risk that.

At the beginning, I went to GA. I had to. I had tried to quit so many times on my own and failed. I went to a meeting out of town and I loved it. It really helped. Somewhere down the line I stoped going but I am grateful for the start it gave me.

In the first few weeks/months I went to work without a bank card and just had a few pounds on me for emergencies. No access to cash no chance to gamble. It helped a great deal. I don’t have to do any of this now but the first few months I was vulnerable and discipline alone won’t cut it. When a moment of weakness arrived I’d be ready. I had blocks in place.

You can do this. You can stop and build a fabulous life.

I wish you well.

RR

Perhaps if I tell you my story it will help you. Back in 1996 I decided to take my gambling to whole new level. I developed a plan to play the stock market and buy and sell shares. I took out 4 new credit cards and on each one took a $5000 withdrawal. I took this $20000 and placed it into a stock brokerage account. I paid the minimum monthly payments on the credit cards and went on a wild 3 year gambling spree trading shares on a month by month basis. I would buy stock in a company wait a month or two til the shares went up then sell, then move on to the next one. I did this for 3 years, however as I made profits on the shares, the interest on the credit cards were piling up. At the end of 3 years I had $ 26,700 in the brokerage account and the credit card debt had gone from $20000 to $26000. My wife begged me to stop . Close the brokerage account , pay off the credit cards and keep the $700 profit and be done with it., But i was stubborn, I wanted to go one more year, hit a 'big win' , make a lot more and then I would close shop and walk away with a big profit. I wanted it all. Well the next year, the inevitable happened. the house of cards collapsed. I made mistake after mistake after mistake. The brokerage account went down to $2000 or so. The credit card debt went up to $28,000 and I was a broken man. I had to seek debt counseling and devise a plan to start paying around $500 a month on the credit card debt. It took me years and years to pay off all that credit card debt. What I did was crazy, I wasn't investing I was gambling pure and simple. The point of this story is to tell you know matter what your situation is, you can always find someone who has done worse. Over the years I have tried numerous methods to stop gambling. I went to Gamblers Anonymous which helped somewhat but not completely. I researched gambling. I tried ways to trick my mind into becoming a non-gambler. What finally helped me was when I thought back to when my son had a terrible infection and went to the hospital. The doctor told him , "you are sick and we are going to get you the treatment you need to get better." Then I applied that to gambling. I told myself "I am sick and am going to seek treatment to get better". This helped me by admitting I had a problem and deciding to do something about it. When I said this to myself over and over, I could feel rays of hope coming in. I have for several years been in recovery and now have blocks in place and I am in a much better place. You can recover from this addiction. Many have, and I am confident that you will too. Best wishes.

Hi Hearsley1, 

I feel your pain. 

I have managed to not accrue any debt but have been dipping into my savings (that is a very small pot as it is) and I feel sick about it. Yet I get the whole situation of not being able to just stop. I also feel like I do it on autopilot. I only joined today and I've put my own little post up looking for some guidance, but just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel. I hate myself when I lose - yet even when I've lost again and again, I go back for more. Wishful thinking perhaps? Just a routine? No idea, but am finally at a stage where I realise I have started doing this almost for entertainment. d**n sight cheaper to go to the cinema and I'd get more time for my money too - but god forbid I actually put that into action. 

Hope you get the guidance you're seeking and hey, if you find any answers, please share!

All the best, 

Me84