I first started gambling 8 years ago when I was 17 and my biggest problem by far has been FOBT's within betting shops. If the industry cared enough about us compulsive gamblers they would surely get rid of these awful machines. Everybody knows they are the crack C*****e of the gambling world and this is even accepted amongst shop staff.
I saw an interview with Fred Done not that long ago who claimed that he believes the percentage of gamblers that are "problem" gamblers to be around 3%. Now, I don't know what everybody else thinks, but I find that a massive insult and quite frankly a joke. Anybody walking around a bookmaker in any city centre can not look at the gamblers within there and claim that only 3 out of every 100 are suffering? If I had to put a number on it, it would've been more like 75% at the very least.
Another problem for me is the media, I know this is an extreme example but there are never any pro-drugs adverts on tv. Ray Winstone is never coming on at half time and encouraging you to purchase some heroin! But yet to say "get on these inplay odds NOW" is in some way acceptable? Society seems to hold a drugs addiction as serious and this gets the coverage it deserves but yet a gambling addiction seems to be something that people get themselves into and are stupid for doing so. When in fact, gambling is just as harmful, it is a mental disease!
Having said that, I think the only way to move forward is to not feel resent or anger towards anybody and to try and put a line under any previous losses. Sounds very obvious but chasing is never the way forward.
I had lost around £15,000 in total up until this year and by some stroke of luck that I not had in the previous 7 and a half years, I got lucky on a handful of football bets in January and won just under £11k. An old me would've (stupidly) thought to myself I can now make this into mega money, but I've wanted to stop being so deluded and realise I'm never going to get all my money back. I need to change, I've instead opted to use this a deposit and put this towards buying a house and hope that this is the start of me finally getting free of the burden gambling has been for me.
For so long now it has affected jobs, relationships, friendships as well as my ability to even socialise and go about my daily life without wanting to burst into tears but I want to be able to look back at my younger years in 10/15 years when I hopefully have a wife and children and think the addiction has just made me a stronger person who's made a life for his family.
I apologise for the lengthy post, I just have so much on my mind and feel very passionate about how destructive gambling can be. I still worry now, I get the keys next week and that's going to be having to pay my mortgage, bills, etc on my own when only 3 months ago my dad was still holding my cards for me. I do feel nervous and worry I'm not going to be strong enough to be in full control again but I feel like it's now or never. I have to *** this opportunity or I'll be shying away from responsibility and living with my mum forever.
I really wish every person on here the best of luck with their story. It makes me incredibly sad to know there are so many other people suffering like me whether it be financially or mentally but we just need to remember we're not alone. We can get through this, there is light at the end of the tunnel if we keep fighting against it.
All the Best.
Hi LUFC1992
First of all welcome to the forum and well done on posting and a very strong post at that if I must say but you are absolutely right in everything you have said in your post. I must say well done in cutting your losses and walking away with the 11k and using this money for a good use rather than giving them it all back and more !! Congratulations on moving to your new home next week and like you say you have every right to be worried about paying your mortgage and bills as we all know how destructive gambling is, but on the flip side life is good when we are not gambling. Could your Dad still not hold your cards for you once you have got all your direct debits setup even if this was just while you got settled in, surely it would be a big help ? I find coming on here and reading others stories gives me the reality checks I need to keep me GF !!
All the Best
Darren
Hi guys I realised today you can never win I was 30 seconds away from winning £388 and I just thought I was absolutely gutted when I didn't win lost to last minute goal then I realised I'm lucky enough to make 1800 Per month i've been gambling for about 15 years and I tread to think The amount of lost so today I've decided to give up I know it's gonna be hard wish me luck
Hi Darren,
Sorry about the delay in my reply I haven't been on here in a couple of days.
Thanks for your response, I really appreciate it. I think the best quote to take from your message is "life is good when we're not gambling" and it's completely true! There is no better feeling for me than not having to worry about how much you're "up or down" that day or tracking your bets and thinking about the next opportunity to make money.
There is much more to life and my main thing is trying to find another hobby. My main interest has always been football, for my sins I have lived and breathed it since childhood and it's quite sad to admit but gambling has almost ruined it for me. It's very hard now to watch a game without thinking "I would've had money on this or that" and that aspect of it ruins the joy of watching most games. But I will find a way around this, I'm determined.
And you're completely right, this is something I've been thinking about myself. The only problem with my dad still holding my card would be I'm making the move to leave home but yet I'm almost cheating that responsibility. I aren't really "growing up" and standing on my own two feet. I would love to be in control of my own finances and know I was beating gambling myself.
However I do agree that there would be no shame in at least for the first month or two having him still keep hold of them until I've at least settled in and we know my exact monthly outgoings and what I have left.
All in all, even though I'm nervous I feel pretty good at the minute. My main thing is making sure I'm always aware of the fact I'm prone to losing a large sum of money in no time if I become complacent. It's always going to be within us those urges every now and then, it's just somehow dealing with those when they rear their head. I always try and think of how low I've felt after a loss just before I think to myself I'll do this bet. So far it's working, I never want to feel that devastation again.
All the best,
Shaun.
Hi Shaun
Bit like yourself i love watching football and rugby but my downfall was gambling on the horses and i dnt find it to bad watching football n thinking i would of had a bet on them, but have got to admit the advertisements during the games and during breaks is absolutley shocking nowadays its like they are ramming it down your throat !
Im just taking everyday as it comes and on its merits, like you say it will rear its ugly head one day n we have got to be able to deal with it when it does or it will lead us back to where we dont want to be !! Keep up the good work n hope the house move goes well and i will look out for future posts !!
All the Best
Darren
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
