Hi all - Just joined and registered with Gamstop as I've developed a problem with gambling over the last 3 months- Working at home, bored and stressed and I turned to online Blackjack. I've no idea why, I've never gambled before but I have had alcohol issues. I'm 2 months sober atm and I think it's probably linked.
I have lost a lot of money. I can't even bare to tot it up as I feel so ashamed. I'm way into my savings now which I've worked really hard to build up. It's like I go into a trance when playing. Before I know it, hours have passed and my day is a write off. I just keep thinking 'If I pop another tenner in the account I can at least win back some of what I've lost.' I KNOW the house always wins but I can't stop myself. I feel ridiculous.Â
I honestly can't wait to go back to work and have a routine again. I'm so lonely atm.Â
Hi Catladylaura and welcome to the forum.
You will go into a trance while playing and its a powerful trance. Ive studied this addiction for a long time and it is a drug addiction acting just like any substance abuse.
Its an escape from loneliness depression and issues within the soul. Its also very easy to get hooked on the feeling or drug of gambling.
Now blackjack is not a soft option and you can google the people who have lost millions gambling by that method. Even millionaires which is more proof that its not ultimately about the money
You have been ignoring the odds because blackjack is particularly devious and looks soft in that way...the online casinos wouldn't run it if it was stacked in your favour.
One of the hardest things to accept is that its not a get it back later scheme and if addicted you have no control over it anyway...the drug is in the playing and its not about money to your brain until its too late and feel terrible.
The truth about the addiction is that we were all back trying again with a mind full of delusional hope and dopamine
Use the forum well...we are here to help...you dont have to be lonely here or in life
I hope you can tell somebody close as well but there is good advice and help for you here. Ring gamcare because its cathartic and theraputic. There is no shame in admitting to this.
Read the stories and use the chatroom. You are one of millions that developed this problem but you will heal with the right measures.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Hi @catladylaura. Listen to joydivider always v wise words. I gambled for 20 years worse last 2-3 years every day never played blackjack which sounds to me that was a blessing. Bingo slots a game called slingo which I swear was designed by the devil were my vices. Today I'm day 8 gamble free its tough but I feel some grit and determination coming back and some clarity in my brain away from that trance like state you talk about. I knew that well. Lack of work and routine and probably boredom is obviously a trigger for you . Shame and self loathing to hand in hand with gambling and the guilt eats you up. Put blocks in place to stop you accessing sites and use all the help you can get. Through here I have been accepted for a course of counselling starting Monday and I can't wait !!. Own it move forward get help you will get peace of mind again. Best wishes
Â
Â
Â
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
