WELL I am 24 hours free of gambling after a 2-3 month binge every single night! I have struggled for more than 20 years, I'm 34 and have been up and down since I was about 12. My parents took me to the amusements every weekend, we lived near the beach, they are outstanding, amazing parents but I think going to the arcades every weekend because they had a problem became my problem as i got older. It was forever engrained in me. I once bumped into my dad at the arcades, after my mam had given up and he said dont tell your mam about this, it must have been scary for him. Now im living the same lie not telling my partner and not telling my parents. It's the worst it has ever been these last few months, because i have earned more money and it always seems worse at christmas, when i analyse the patterns. hmmm.
So my question is, have any of you shared this terrible secret with your partners, husbands, wifes etc? has it helped or made it worse? did they leave you?
I feel like my husband to be doesnt know the real me 🙁 it hurts me to think that he doesnt, but then if he knew, he would know that every night i went to bed without him, every 2 hour bath i had was to gamble and that would be enough for him to leave me. Sometimes that thought doesn't scare me and sometimes it really does and i think thank god i didnt tell him. He is not a very sensitive person and knows the truth hurts and is the complete opposite to me when it comes to money, he would flip. I dont know what is eating me up even more, the fact i am hiding this or the fact i am a gambler.
When i think back to payday at christmas, i was ontop of the world, i had savings, presents galore, felt comfortable and then every day since i have gambled until it has almost all gone.
I wish i could erase gambling from my life, i wish i didnt know it even existed, like most people dont bat an eyelid or understand it, wouldnt know where to start, i want that. but that will never happen, not in this life. I feel low!
Help! x
Hello Radox7,
It seems your post may have been overlooked by our forum members, so I have moved it from 'Overcoming' to the 'New members' section where it may get noticed more.
Please check out this information about the free GamBan promotion and call us anytime on our freephone or netline so that we can support your recovery more:
https://www.gamcare.org.uk/talk/
Take care,
Adam.
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