Hey all,
Like most of us here, I'm trying to take another step in breaking away from addiction and looking for any inspiration or ideas to help!
So let's cut to the chase.
After leaving university I started to gamble, football bets only and always online. I would lose, play rarely, and it was fun. Before long my bets got bigger and bigger to the point where I would win a lot of profit, start to lose it, pump more money in to try and win the profit back and lose every bring, and I mean everything, bank account empty.
So I stopped for a bout a year, it was lovely. Then I had one or two goes and I was hooked again, and the same thing happened, I could win 1000 in a night by starting with just 50, but then I would lose it and lose it all.
So I blocked myself. But before long I would go looking for other websites and lose money again. Occasionally would win and keep some 'profit' but in the end i was obviously still down.
So I decide to sign up to every single website that offered footy bets, and get myself excluded immediately, I still am, and for a while it helped. But recently I went in a bookies for the first time, win and lose equally, and have started online slots. Wow there are so many sites. I play one certain game, it was fun at first, a rush, and somehow it payed out a lot. But after a few nights I would play away all my profit. And so the cycle continues. I got myself excluded, win some money, then lose it and sign up to another account, and repeat. I'm trapped, even if I win I don't know when to say ok, I've won, let's stop because it's all about the money now, winning back that profit I once had, and I honestly don't know how to stop. I even tell myself I'm going to bet, when I don't want to, to warn myself not to, and I end up doing it still. What doesn't help is the 25 specific spites I've found that do this game, some of them still regularly send me messages, calls, emails with offers. My friends gamble too, I don't know where to turn. My family don't even know I gamble so I don't want to tell them my history. ....sorry, this wasn't that brief. I've spoken with people who try to help and encourage me to stop, but it's like I have a laps and my mind goes 'ah screw it just do it, win the money back'.... I appreciate any help!
Hi LW , and welcome to the forum .
As a Compulsive Gambler " You will never win because you can never stop " it becomes about the buzz of winning and the money no longer matters , that's just what we use as tokens or ammunition if you like , to continue with the cycle that you now find yourself stuck in .
You have to stop now , let go of all the losses and move forward with your life , if you want to do it you can but " Nothing changes if Nothing changes " so instead of keep opening accounts and closing them you'll have to think of some major changes , such as installing blocking software on your Phone/ laptop or tablet , k9 is free or gamblock is another available for a fee , you say sites are sending free bets out , then why not change your email address or speak with your BB supplier , they can put blocks in place which stop gambling sites coming through , this is all called your time , money , location triangle and if you remove one then you can't gamble , you could also look at how you pay to gamble , perhaps report your card as lost and when the new one arrives remove the 3 digit code without writing it down . If youv'e started going in bookies then self exclude , it takes 2 photos and 5 mins , not hard but essential !!.
I would advise telling your parents or a loved one , as hard as that is to do it allows you to move forward , gambling thrives on secrecy and deceit and if you can tell someone it makes you accountable and not just to yourself .
You could also contact gamcare regarding councilling if that's something that appeals to you it's also free , or maybe think of GA ? lots of options but all down to what suits you , this place is also great for support and maybe think of starting a recovery diary to chart you progress , I came her over 9 months ago feeling pretty bad about life and haven't had a bet since so that's testiment to this place and all it's wonderfull people !.
I wish you well my friend , if you need to know anything else then just ask , one of the posse will drop by at some point !
Welcome to recovery !
Alan
You can do this you just have to want to !!
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