Hi Guys,
I read some of the posts before deciding to post. Never thought I would get sucked in like this... anyways here's my story.
I am mid 20s now and I have never in my life been to a betting shop in real life. All my action has been online... I started matched betting when I was in university and made around £1500. This felt great because I had never had that much money before at 18... but by the time i was 19 or 20 I had lost all I had won plus most of my own money betting on football...
I spent a lot of time during my 2nd year of uni to find a new way to make money as I started chasing losses! I did figure out a way (arbitrage betting) from which I made all my losses back and around £5,000 on top before being gubbed from pretty much all UK bookies. The only place I could bet was on b*****r exchange as it was against players and no accumulators so I more or less gave up betting... In two years between final year or uni and last year I probably bet around £22 on b*****r exchange... it had no affect on my life...
I have been working for 2 years now as a graduate and been saving up most of my earnings... In February 2018, I randomly logged back on b*****r and tried to bet on sportsbook but obviously, I couldn't as I was gubbed and my max bet was £1.25 on most of the sports picks.
For some reason, I went on to live casino - I understand the concept of roulette but I had never played cards before...
I went on youtube and learnt how to play blackjack in around 20 - 30 mins... little did I know it is going to mess me up like never before! After 30 mins I had deposited £100, and was playing with £200... It was friday evening and they had loads of promos going. I think on first night I spent nearly 9 hours from 8 pm to 5 am and turned the £100 to £700 and won £230 worth of bonus which would have been credited to my account monday....
I woke up late Saturday morning, and first thing I did was started playing... I lost the 700 I had from the night before but I deposited more to try win it back as it felt as though the 700 was mine when in reality I was only down 100. Eventually, I did and I won 4000 on top. This went on through out the weekend... and Monday I went to work all happy as I was up nearly £5000 nearly 3-4 months of my salary. I thought this would continue on and It did!!! I came back home from work on monday there I had nearly £600 of free bets I had won on the promotions. By end of february I had won 23k from the free bets...
I told my friend who tried to stop me from gambling but I thought I was invincible... until I lost it all in 10 mins chasing £20 loss.
Next week the whole week I felt depressed... then I deposited more money to try win some back... eventually I won the 40K + more in couple of hours doing risky bets as it was all in or nothing and I was ready to lose all my savings to try win it back. I didn't know what was going on through my head. I promised myself I would stop gambling as this was nearly 2 years of my salary.... but as you know what happened I went back and gambled it!...
Luckily for me I did give all my earnings from last 2-3 years + 12k to my parents as I still live with them but I have gambled all the others away... I have self-excluded myself from the 1 site I used already. The whole of last 4 days has been up and down for me... I won 10k on Friday lost it all Saturday... won 10k again on Sunday morning and lost it all on the afternoon... and lost 400 today.
I have lost my social life since I started gambling. How can I get my life back? I have admitted that I won't be able to win the money I won again so there is no point chasing.
I have £300 in my bank account and I feel embarrassed as I told my parents of the big win and they think I still have the money...
I don't know if I can trust myself on paydays now I am thinking of transferring 60-70% of my salary straight to my parents account... I have this headache which has been there all day as I realise what I have done to myself...
thought I would add to above, it came a point where the money had no value to me... I was betting £100, £200, £500 like it was peanuts. I have no idea what was going through my head... the adrenaline rush was just crazy
finally got the guts up and told my parents I let myself loose and lost the money... they were speechless but it is what it is.
Have manually self excluded myself from most of the site I have been registered with... 1 day at a time starting tomorrow... hopefully will be able to focus in work
Well done for admitting to yourself and others around you that you are no longer a normal gambler . There is a line you have crossed and even if you did gamble again it wouldn’t be the same as you now would gamble with remorse . If you don’t stop now the damage you could do financially and to your mindset would be much much bigger . Now is a new start for you and time to stop all of this nonsense as you have proven no one can beat the system . Read the posts on here . Start your own diary . Put the blocks in place by handing control of your money over to your parents, self exclude and even using gambling blocking software . You then need to find something better to do with your time as by your own admission you don’t socialise . This can be beaten and if you are willing to want to stop, I can promise you that recovery is possible . Things get better in your life very quickly . In fact I’m personally actually enjoying my recovery , it’s enjoying normal things without the endless late nights , waking up stressed and worrying before you even get out of bed in the morning . Look forward to hearing from you in due course , remember there are lots of people out there who understand and you are not going through this alone
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