108 days gf and relapsed 3 days ago

Day 3. I feel vulnerable.... Having 0 in my account. depending on my partner.. it makes me feel so low, so unworthy. I keep having these fears, what if she turns on me? what if.. what if? I am just taking it day by day. 

I am now thinking in 3 weeks when i receive a bit of money in my account, what will change?

Yesterday went through my online banking, its a horrible sight knowing gambling has taken everything you ever had or could of had. 

It really is time to defeat this gambling bug. 

God bless all.

@thisisruiningmylife

Hi.  Firstly the 108 days GF that you achieved is amazing and shows that you can do it.

It is very easy to relapse into a learned behaviour of gambling again.  Your brain will be on autopilot.  Can you exclude yourself from wherever you are playing these slot games?  Can you hand your finances over to your partner?

I am just wondering what blocks you can put to stop your access to gambling so that you have the mental space to deal with this again.

My brain is always telling me 'what if I make the money back, I have done it before' but no amount of money I won would be enough.  Even off we did win it would just trigger more.

I know it is horrible not to have money and look at your account and think WHY? I have been there.  Use this time that you have no access to money to put in safeguards to stop it happening next payday.

You have got this.  You have beaten it before and will again.

@thebean 

Thank you Bean. Yes I will beat it and so will you.

The money is worthless learning to stay put has been a big lesson for me. Learning to live with little. Learning to live without pleasure. 

Thanks for your message. 

Welldone mate 108 days g/f is a great achievenment so u can do it i was almost 3 years when i relapsed i felt exactly the same as u i couldnt believe how i felt surely after 3 years i should have had some form of control but no i ended up have many relapses until my last relapse i got myself in debt again that was it for me i now admit i simply cannot a place no matter how many days i am gamble free so i need to invest more time in getting therpy as all it takes is 1 bet am now 341 days gamble free and i am really greatful whats helping me is keeping myself occupied and trying new things out i now believe i gambled to fill a void as when i did win and didnt need the money i would get bored and i couldnt wait to bet so it wasent even about the money

@tazman 

Thank you for your words

90 days free today. I am feeling stronger than ever regarding the addiction but weak in terms of motivation in life... I haven't really achieved anything in the 90 days apart from being gambling free, but I would like to get back to some sort of routine ASAP.  

@thisisruiningmylife Hi there. Well done for not giving up each time you have relapsed. 👏👏. Can I just ask, have you got any blocks in place? I can see that people have asked you this but you don’t seem to have responded? Blocks are a great thing to completely stop you in your tracks for when you have those weak moments/impulsive thoughts about gambling. Please give this some thought if you are serious about wanting to stop,, which it sounds like you really do want to. 🙏.

Take care and keep going day at a time. 👍.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

@j5a6meyr4z 

HI Pink lady

Yes I have blocks in place, I cannot enter casinos, sign up online, bank card blocks. Etc etc. I have had these in place for a few years.

Well done mate i have done the same saw a guy lossing money and thought i would try i put so much in the machine i have never entered the place again this was 8 years ago still haunts me today

@tazman 111 days now, after that 108 day relapse. I've changed my lifestyle, staying in alot much more than I used to and there hasn't really been any gambling urges. Time has really just been flying. My sleep pattern hasn't been good though the past few months up at night/sleeping in day. I hope to go back to work one day in the near future. It's like everyday I'm building my life again from scratch.