Hi,
I've just joined the forum and need to stop gambling. Mostly online on the horses and football. I'm in my fifties and apart from a four year break I've gambled since I was 17. Need to do something about it urgently so this 2015 challenge looks to be an opportunity to finally do something about it. I need to block online gambling facilities if I can. I've posted an intro on the new members forum.
Cheers.
Cheers.
MrStop all I need to add you to this weeks challenge is a count of days since you last gambled.
Hi,
Thank You.
I gambled today so I suppose it's zero.
I only joined the site today though and saw this thread and think it will help me.
Ok Mrstop, you are added to the challenge, tomorrow is day one!
Less than four hours left and we are missing too many check ins, please get them in before midnight!
Hello checking in day 14 thanks been a long time since I have lasted this long!
Hi guys checking in for the week. Have been doing much better this week and like mr B my life volume is increasing :). Decided to treat myself a little this week by booking a trip away in September for my birthday (yet another Ireland match ) and taking a wee trip to see friends indublin in few weeks 🙂
keep up the good work everyone know how hard it can be at start of new year and especially if you only started the journey to being gamble free
Hi All, checking in day 17. Without my internet being restricted at home I know I would have gambled this week. I've realised that I need barriers to stop me betting. Willpower alone will always be defeated. I've also had a week of total honesty. That's what a gamble free week gives you. I don't have to lie if I don't gamble. So onto another gamble free week.
Another week has passed. I am 28 days clean and going strong.
Hi all! Glad to see this challenge has got off to a postive start. Well done Phil for taking over the reigns.
Well I missed check-in for the last 2 weeks of the 2014 challenge... This was disappointing for me as I had gone the whole year without gambling. My last bet was 7th December 2013. The good thing is... this is still the last time I have had a bet 🙂
The Xmas period was extremely busy for me. It felt awesome to be a part of Xmas day, rather than trying to hide and ignore everyone as usually I'd be massively depressed and filled with guilt/remorse. I budgetted for Xmas, bought my presents early and obviously not gambling for the entire year made all of this possible.
Also as many of you will know I work in a casino (You can find my diary in 'recovery diaries' if you would like to know more). This time is a very busy period for casinos and I was working up till and over the Xmas period. All nightshifts as well, so my bodyclock has been all over the place. To top it all off me and my partner have just moved house too. Phonecalls back and fourth from tne agency, but we finally got the keys last week! Were all moved in, but yeah... Still loads to unpack! A mixture of things as to why I missed check-in, however I'm still going strong.
As you can see, my life has improved so much since stopping over a year ago. I wont go in to too much detail here as my diary already explains my background and life around gambling. This challenge was a huge help last year in helping me to succeed and achieve my long term goals. The advice and support I received from last years challenge was priceless, hence the reason I'd like to be taking the ride with you all again in 2015.
See you all soon,
Scambling
Day 220 - Checking in
Good morning all. Great to be part of this winning team.
Suzy
Challenge Update Week 3
Intro
Well troops we enter week three and now I feel things are settling down and despite losing a few soldiers we have a strong group of 61. The novelty gym effect that I talked about last week will see people slip away, but I now feel the group is settling and a high percentage of the 61 will see this year out. We should have 69 troops today, sadly 8 missed check in, if you are one of the 8 please come back. Hopefully you have forgotten to check in, but if there has been a slip its best to get back on here and continue your recovery.
This week we had our first 2015 Challenge chat and Del79 marshalled the troops in triangles absence. I expect Sergeant triangle to be there this Wednesday and hopefully putting a few reminders on here as it’s a useful way for us to help each other and get to know each other. So Wednesday nights 8pm till 9pm if you get the chance to log on why not give it a go. Just another reminder that the group email [email protected] is somewhere else you can talk, so if you wish to contact me on there you can or if you need a phone number of a fellow soldier to talk to about your gambling just get in touch and I will forward some numbers. Also if anyone has any ideas about a group meet at some point in the future then get in touch. Mrbrightside suggested something in the midlands or north west to celebrate baggins year free from gambling in March. So if anyone fancies this or has any ideas feel free to post me an email or post something with your check in.
Finally ICanDoThis had a slip this week, it’s not easy to come back after a slip so well done mate! We need to learn from our mistakes and its good to see you have the strength to come back and continue the fight. You will beat this!
Life Music
This is more for the newer soldiers, but it’s also a useful reminder for the soldiers who remember this from the 2014 challenge. A lot of us refer to our life music and its inspired by a post from a great guy called Kyle (KRS). This was posted on his recovery diary on the 16th February 2014 it’s a great read;
So here's my theory.
I am a compulsive gambler. depressingly I know i always will be one. but encouragingly over time it does greatly diminish.
I first came here in 2008 and had various degrees of success and failure over that time. From what i learned and what I keep telling people is ....you have to learn your own triggers and reasons for why you personally gamble. I feel confident ~I have learnt mine... Mainly from re reading my diaries and exploring ideas that people have had and ideas I have come up with myself.
so here goes. I know everyone is different but i think all CG's are inherently the same.
I discovered that the 'voice' that made me want to gamble is always there. has always been there and WILL always be there. But it is set at a level. when i have been bad with gambling the level is high... when i have not gambled for a long time the volume goes down. I use the scale of 1 - 10. 1 being very low to 10 being very high. for my analogy to make sense lets say the 'voice' is a piece of music. and that piece of music is set to the level between 1- 10 of how bad my gambling is. my will power, urges, determination etc all affect my level.
So my level for gambling is playing a piece of music and im on level 4. which i generally regarded as my normal gambling urge level.
The trick i learned is, that that 'music' was always playing. ALWAYS PLAYING. I Always had it in me to give in to temptation and start gambling. it never went away. if i heard the music then i would gamble. learned behaviour. i hear 'the voice' or 'the music' and it makes me gamble.
now for the other side of the coin. please bear with me on this. it really does make sense.
Now lets look at your life. To oppose your thoughts about gambling.. you have your consciousness. you have your will power. you have other things to think about and do. your family your work your whatever's. Your LIFE is also a piece of music. Your theme tune, if you like. It is also set to a volume between 1 - 10. if your life is busy and full and rewarding you will be on a high level and your music is set loud. If your depressed upset angry or bored, your 'lifes' music's volume is set low
Now heres the point - If gambling music is set at volume 4, and your life music is at volume 7. you cant hear the gambling music...its drowned out. Your too busy or your in a good place, or getting on with other things in your life.... that you just dont hear the gambling music.. hence you dont get the urges.
Your life music will generally change day to day depending on what happens and thats the trigger to watch. because your gambling music will pretty much be at the same level dependant on the of the type of gambler you are. so for me at gambling level 4... if my life music drops down for whatever reason to level 4 or below . i will start to hear the gambling music again. start to get tempted. hear the old nostalgic music that triggers a relapse. the further your life music falls the louder you can hear the gambling music and the more chance you are going to gamble again.
sometimes you can get confused and tempted because your gambling level and life level are set at the same volume. so you get conflict. when you are really tempted but are still managing to hold off. The dangerous times when you have wobbles because you really want to gamble but manage to stop. you feel so at conflict with yourself. thats because your levels are so close to each other. you can hear both songs in your head.
The trick is to keep your life mucic high. It will always drown out that gambling music. you wont here it so you wont get triggered to gamble. It leaves us vulnerable when bad things happen to us. The volume on your life music gets turned down and you hear the old gambling music again. thats why you always have to have this in the back of your mind. The gambling urges are always inside you. always playing that music. That gambling tune! you have to drown it out with life music. drown it out with LIFE.
When you stop gambling you realise what a massive part of your life has gone. Hours and hours playing these games... with nothing to replace it. Most people end up relapsing out of boredom. You have to fill the space gambling left with other things. We CG's also crave risk and excitement. When thats gone... its hard to replace. You crave it so much... your gambling music gets cranked up so you can hear it again. It wants you to hear it so you can come back. You need that LIFE music turned up too so you drown it out again. Go jump out of a plane.. bungee jump... swim with a f@cking shark! whatever you have to do! But turn up that life music.
After 17 months gambling free I would confidently but cautiously say my gambling music has now dropped to about volume 1 or 2. My life's music is blasting out at level 7 and 8. sometimes 9. Im really happy. I wont get complacent though, because I know that way down in there, in a sad old corner, that gambling music is weakly playing out that old tune and if i get drawn in enough to hear it..... I will be vulnerable to relapse.
I hope that all made sense. It has worked for me. If this analogy works for you then great. If it dosent, work on it. You will find something else. What we have done as CG's is so crazy we try so hard to understand it. We are rational intelligent caring human beings. Why could we do these stupid and destructive things not only to ourselves, but to those we love? A big part of my recove ry has been UNDERSTANDING why I did it. This helped me so much.
On another reason I have always had self esteem issues. Dont know why. I have always been told im fun, handsome, witty, a good person etc, but sometimes i just didnt believe it. I certainly now know a huge part of my gambling was a deliberate destructive side. Subconsciously I WANTED to destroy myself. I wanted to see what would happen if i had nothing. Who would help me. Who really loved me. Kind of like... If I throw myself in the river.... who will dive in and save me! Do you know what I mean.
Anyway another RIDICULOUSLY long post. Im so sorry readers. I just end up drivelling on lol
GET IT ALL DOWN. EVERY BIT. GOOD AND BAD. EVERY THOUGHT. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF
I promise you it will all help.
All the best
Kyle
The biggest win I will ever have is to learn I can never win gambling.
I’m sure you will agree that was worth reading, Kyle no longer posts I hope his life music is blaring out loud. Now when that very article was posted last year I enjoyed reading it, BUT I didn’t work it out until recently. Because my life music was being drowned with debt worries and a web of lies the gambling music overtook my life music and I slipped up. Only now that I have no lies or hidden debts and my family know everything about me can I really appreciate just how relevant and helpful Kyle’s theory is. What Kyle says really is true and if you keep your life music levels high it really will become easier to make that daily choice not to gamble!
Milestones in the coming and past week
happy days and mrbrightside both passed the amazing milestone of 400 days last week!!!
brutus123C and bornagain hit 50 days on Monday and then Emily82 brings up her big 50 on Thursday!!!
Elfie17 reaches 30 weeks on Monday, another fine achievement!!!
mba celebrates 3 weeks free from gambling today, congratulations!!!
egfr successfully got through ten weeks last week, well done!!!
Glads Dad and elchipper both got their half centuries last week, great work!!!
delboygolf smashed through 300 days last week, not far off a full year now!!!
paulll will reach 10 weeks next Sunday, good work pal!!! Taxi man will also hit 10 weeks on Friday, top work soldier!!!
lollypoplol hits 20 weeks next Sunday, good start for one of our newest troops!!!
Roll of Honour/ Days Gamble Free!
We have 8 missing soldiers Promise, DINO, TheMorningRain, str7836, MehGameOver, robrob1988, paulh85, sean121. You are all missed and welcome back at anytime. If any of the counts are wrong don’t hesitate to let me know.
Once again I have averaged our losses at 50 pounds each per day and tallied up a total count and I have great pleasure to announce that collectively we have saved a grand total of £53,400 so far in 2015. Keep up the good work troops!!!!
Summing Up
61 soldiers head into week four of 2015, I never would have expected to have such a strong group so soon. The group is settling down and we are in this together, I’m really enjoying typing out the milestones each week and as the weeks go by the milestones will grow bigger and better. Its also good to read more about you all and there are some very special people in this group.If you have a weak moment don’t give in, get on here and post how you feel, we have all been through the same and can help each other. Keep the life music loud, stay positive and here’s to another gamble free week!!!
Phil
Brilliant update Phil - thanks so much for taking the time to do this.
Great shout to share Kyle's volume post - I see a survey coming soon!!
Mr B checking in nice and early 1 in and 60 to go......plus the missings and the newbies, would be great to break new ground on the challenge and hit 70 soldiers!
Congratulations to everyone celebrating milestones this week and to those who who made last week a gamble free one!
Have a great week everyone, keep the barriers and guards up, maintain your progress and have new hope for life ahead.
Mr B
Welcome to Scambling, good to see you back and a good first post, you have been checked in for this week and added to the front page!
a Fantastic update Phil, thanks for the time and effort it takes, good luck to all the new arrivals I am sure you will find this challenge and its members a great help I know I have found the support and advice gives me great strength and determination. Keep up the good work all.
Scott
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