2015 Challenge

Checking in on day 304.

Well done Phil, top job & great update. First time I feel I`m not battling this thing on my own.

thanks for the update phil

like mrbrightside i'm checking in nice and early

i need to give priority to my recovery because if I gamble my life doesn't go well

reminding troops that the 2015 chat is on a wednesday night 8-9 in the Gamcare chatroom BUT if you can't make that night for whatever reason there are another 6 nights a week you can get on there and support youself and others.

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/gamcare-chatrooms-how-join-us

Finally wishing you all a happy and savvy week. Enjoy your recovery, share it with others and most of all never forget what brought you here.

Sargeant Triangle

Really inspirational update Phil, thanks and what a brilliant post from Kyle, what a shame he doesn't post any more. I will check in at the end of the week because I have a challenge coming up on Monday, some money going into my bank account. I want to check in knowing that I have remained gf even though for the first time since I started that I am likely to have the time-money-location triangle at one time. Wish me luck guys 🙂

Hi Phil

Thanks for the update. It must take a lot of your time and effort. Just read the post about life music and gambling music from Kyle and I can really understand and relate to the analogy. I think this is something I will focus on if my thoughts ever turn to gambling in the future. It also helps me understand why the challenge has so far, felt relatively easy for me. I've been turning up the volume on my life music. Planning things to do and planning weekly and monthly budgets as well as making plans to save money for a variety of things. I've enjoyed doing this. It's what I enjoyed before - when I wasn't heavily addicted to gambling. When my life music was blaring and I was happy.

Despite the fact that I still believe I enjoyed gambling - I wasn't happy. I was stressed and worried and unable to concentrate. Things didn't matter much. I was selfish and thought mainly of my own needs and only really looking forward to gambling sessions; losing track of time and reality, forcing my eyes open to gamble for hours on end into the early hours of the morning. Looking back I can appreciate the gambling music was on full volume. Nothing else really mattered too much. I managed to keep life going on a day to day basis - seeming relatively ok on the outside. But on the inside I was in inner turmoil. Constantly exceeding and increasing my overdraft and transferring balances on credit cards to free up more funds and justify that I could afford to gamble. I hated checking my bank balance but had to up to 20 times a day sometimes. Trying to work out if I'd managed to avoid exceeding my ever rising overdraft limit. I was often waiting on 'winnings' coming back in to balance my account.

Looking back I guess I think that gambling music was unbearably loud. Something had to change. Taking out a huge personal loan to consolidate all my gambling debt was a step in the right direction in October. I started to feel back in control a little. I felt confident I could manage my gambling using deposit limits and restricting the cash I took to bingo. I had turned the volume down on gambling and the life music volume in turn went up. I told my closest friends and they could see I was happier. I planned a night away to celebrate being a little more in control of my money. In hindsight blackpool probably wasn't the best choice of destination as my addiction is slots. On the way there I was almost bragging about how I understood gambling more, how I was more in control than ever and how I was looking forward to a more comfortable Christmas. The journey back from blackpool told a different story. I had spent £400 and ruined the weekend. Had to borrow a few quid from my friend once I had spent all money I could access. I was left wondering how I could afford the rest of the presents I still had to buy for Christmas. This in turn meant the gambling music went up..., chasing the losses. I imagined I could win back what I'd lost in blackpool. Overdraft had to be extended again and again and again. By this point I had and still have a £1000 overdraft. I had to change something.

Boxing day was the start of my recovery. This is the first time in my life I've stopped gambling altogether. I can't manage it with deposit limits or fewer trips to bingo. I can't manage it by spending less. I can't stop so I never win.

I have stopped though and I am winning. Every day I stay gamble free I've won a little battle. I've stepped further from my last spin on the slots. I've achieved something. I've filled my life with other things and I'm enjoying life. I'm finding turning my back on my old friend has been easier than I thought. The gambling music is almost too quiet to hear. The life music is loud. I'm happier than I've been in a long time. I can cope better with stress at work and I'm less short tempered. I can treat my kids and I'm paying them back their money I've 'borrowed' in the past. We are going on a family holiday abroad and I'm off on a spa break away to celebrate three months gamble free in March.

Thank you Phil for posting kyles post from last year. As you can see it's really made sense to me and helped me further understand my journey and hopefully it will help me keep that gambling volume turned down low. Life is for living and I,for one, am loving having the life volume on high !

Clare x

Thanks for all the positive feedback, I'm just heading to work and will update the front page tonight. Running this challenge takes a fair amount of time, but when I read what Clare has just posted then its absolutely worth every second. I look forward to hearing all about your spa break Clare, you deserve it 🙂

Hi Phil,

Great positive update, and I think you are doing really great with the 2015 challenge.

Checking in on 265 days, and feel very proud to be marching forwards with each and everyone of you,

Have a good gambling free week all and keep turning that life music up.

Suzanne xx

Thanks Phil - this forum and challenge really has undoubtedly provided me with the right support at the right time and I'm motivated more than ever to see it through. Reading other peoples journey's is so helpful and has indeed given me many of the right tools to quit for good. I've embraced the gambling triangle idea and I've taken strength from the posting on others diaries and them on mine. Doing this as part of a sixty plus team is, in itself, a fantastic motivator - and no one underestimates the time and comittment this has and will take throughout the year from yourself. Thanks again !

Clare x

Checking in day 126. Rst.

Checking in day 49,
Cheryl

Sorry Phil

Missed my check in last week,but still here and ready to do battle.

Not sure of days about 46 I think,having a bad long week at work is the only excuse that I can offer for not checking in , I hope that I am welcomed back into the fold.

Apologies to my fellow troops Dino x

day 15 checking in

My first day and my first check in, I just hope I can do it.

Great update as usually. I'll take this moment to check in for next week nice and early as I have a few days off work and hopefully will be forgetting my troubles and relaxing with my wife, who just recently I realise how lucky I am to have. I have friends whos relationships are broken or atleast breaking and I am starting to realise what's important, yes I'm broke and have masses of debt way more than said friends but I have my wife and a couple of close friends and family. The debt will never really go away it'll always linger but I really think that me and my wife can survive that and that things will get better financially and aslong as I stay gamble free I'll be able to make her happy.

I have had some urges this weekend, works been tough, very stressful and as the analogy says my life music was to low. I really felt that arsenal would beat man City and new the price would be decent but shook of the urge as I didn't want the challenge to end for me in the first month. When I saw the result my first reaction was one I've had countless times when I haven't managed to place a bet that goes on to be a winner. Starting thinking what I would have staked etc but then I took the time to think about what really would've happened to my winnings, would I have been satisfied and recalled various times I've won and lost it all back.

So my resolve is still strong but the urges are still right there, the music still playing. I thank this thread and I thank my wife, I will try to find the strength to let neither of you down.

insanity wrote: Great update as usually. I'll take this moment to check in for next week nice and early as I have a few days off work and hopefully will be forgetting my troubles and relaxing with my wife, who just recently I realise how lucky I am to have. I have friends whos relationships are broken or atleast breaking and I am starting to realise what's important, yes I'm broke and have masses of debt way more than said friends but I have my wife and a couple of close friends and family. The debt will never really go away it'll always linger but I really think that me and my wife can survive that and that things will get better financially and aslong as I stay gamble free I'll be able to make her happy. I have had some urges this weekend, works been tough, very stressful and as the analogy says my life music was to low. I really felt that arsenal would beat man City and new the price would be decent but shook of the urge as I didn't want the challenge to end for me in the first month. When I saw the result my first reaction was one I've had countless times when I haven't managed to place a bet that goes on to be a winner. Starting thinking what I would have staked etc but then I took the time to think about what really would've happened to my winnings, would I have been satisfied and recalled various times I've won and lost it all back. So my resolve is still strong but the urges are still right there, the music still playing. I thank this thread and I thank my wife, I will try to find the strength to let neither of you down.

Well done Insanity for remaining strong during a difficult period. You did the right thing and thought about the consequences if you had of placed a bet, and thankfully you didn't. It will get easier, trust me, the first 3 months for me were extremly hard as I had thoughts of horse racing day and night, but the thoughts are getting very distant now.

Your wife, family and friends will be very proud of your commitment to try and remain gamble free.

Have a good week and keep up your good start to having gamble free life.

Mike