[Closed] 2019 Challenge

Hi Guys.. checking in. Now over 2 years gambling free. It’s gone really fast as keeping busy. Stay GF guys...

My first post here. Online slots are my weakness and I just blew another ** that I don't have last night until 4am, to add to losses last month and the month before and a few months ago etc. It is a cycle, feeling self-loathing and self-pity for a couple of days, borrowing more money to cover the losses, spending a few weeks rebuilding my life (but never managing to rebuild my finances) and repeating it all again. This normally makes me feel even worse each time as I try to deal with the extra debt that I have built up and increase the levels of self-loathing and self-pity due to my inability to end the cycle. If it was ** each time then it would be recoverable but I always make sure that I lose far more than I can afford, with me seemingly being very vulnerable as soon as I feel like I have made progress in my life and have the nerve to feel even the first signs of strength and positivity.
Having spent all day thinking even harder than normal about all of this, including reading lots of posts on here, subscribing to Gamstop (it will take a few days as it didn't work online and I had to do it manually which is frustrating) and coming up with a plan (rather than just falling into the self-loathing/self-pity trap), I am determined to make this the last cycle of the year and, hopefully, for a lot lot longer than that. Time will tell but I seem to have recovered much faster than I normally do (it normally takes a good 48 hours whereas I feel reasonably strong after just 20 hours) although I realise just how fragile this recovery can be so I thought that posting on the 2019 challenge thread will help me to remain accountable to myself and, hopefully, to gain the support of others whilst offering whatever support that I can to others, even if it is just to share the pain.

Dear @edinstead , 

Congratulations on your first post on the Forum.

The Forum can be a very supportive place and i hope that you do find the support you need here. 

It sounds as though you have already started you recovery journey, which is really positive and i would like to congratulate you on this also. 

We can offer advice, strategies and treatment services to support you, please call our Helpline 0808 8020 133 or the Netline and you can talk through these one-to-one with an adviser.

All the best, 

Forum Admin

Well done everyone checking in this week.

Welcome back Adam123 - good to see you back on this thread.

A big welcome to 3 new posters, needtostopnow, Einstein, Edinstead   - just do it one day at a time I'd love to see you all still on here this time next year.

walliss77 - 3553

onlyme - 1275

Samson - 1086

dswright1 - 917

Raj - 743

Johnlostmydo - 414

K2 - 377

bdog - 253

Matt692 - 61

 SuccessStory13 - 25

needtostopnow - 7

Adam123 - 5

Einstein - 1

Edinstead - 1

Dear Forum Admin

Thank you for your helpful and supportive post. Now that I am pretty much through the painful immediate aftermath of the latest losses, I need to bring about lifestyle changes that can last for the rest of the year and beyond.

I am hopeful that I can do this without directly involving an advisor but it is reassuring to know that there is help out there if it all gets too much for me at any point.

Ideally, I want to be able to throw all of my energy into building up my business and gradually paying off the debts from the last few years rather than using up my energy having to deal with the effects of self-destruction that gambling has brought me.

Day 2 now with many more to come.

Checking in again gf 

Checking in

Head down and go again @adam123

blips happen in all walks of life. Recognising them and acting on them is far more important than the numbers. Have a good weekend mate

Hello Everyone, checking in for the week on day 911.

First time i have checked in for a long time, still gamble free and thankfully don't think about gambling much at all, i have the odd thought every now and again, but swiftly knock the thought out of my head.  Over the last few months i have managed to go on a nice summer holiday with my family, and also start to organise and pay off another holiday for next year to Florida.  None of this i would have thought possible just 2 and a half years ago.  Well done to everyone who is staying gamble free, and to those who have had a set back, thats all it is, a set back! Well done for getting back up, dusting yourself off and going again.  

On a side note, does anyone know how to change your password on here as i can't find out how to do it, and have been stuck with a stupid password since the site changed over and thats why i don't log on so much as i can't get it to auto set.  

Neil 

Only Day 7 but I am staying strong and I feel like I am making proper changes and plans this time around. I am well aware that my danger zone is normally after several weeks/months rather than days but facing my demons head on, accepting the damage that I have done and understanding the fact that gambling offers me nothing positive (as I would just lose any wins in the end anyway) seems to be helping a lot. 

I plan to stop counting once I get to 50 or 100 days, as I think that my brain needs to reach the point where gambling becomes little more that a past memory without daily reminders, but it is great to see the success stories like Neil on 911 days!

Stay strong everyone and keep posting so that we can all learn and gain strength from each other's posts.

Posted by: Neil C.

On a side note, does anyone know how to change your password on here as i can't find out how to do it, and have been stuck with a stupid password since the site changed over and thats why i don't log on so much as i can't get it to auto set.  

Neil 

Hello Neil, Forum Admin here, this is the procedure for password changes:  log into your account > go to your profile page > click edit my profile > update password

We have also emailed you, so any problems with this, please email us back and we'll sort it out for you.

Kind regards

Forum Admin

checking in day 1 again

Checking in for the week gf 

Checking in.

Checking in, Day 31. 

Keep it up everyone. 

Checking in for another week gf!