...is looking in my bank account. You'd think it wouldn't be, because I'm in tonnes of debt, but for the first time in six months there is nothing that's going to come out, I'm not feeling a sick fear wondering what I've forgotten about, I'm not compulsively counting withdrawals in the hope it will make all the difference. I have a couple of withdrawals still to come in as I had to verify (ok, so they take ages to pay out and seconds to take in, but that's another story) and then for the first time in so long I know exactly how much I (haven't) got.
It feels good! I want to feel no shame about my debt. It's there, I accumulated it in the stupidest of ways, but I'm not the first and there are millions more mugs coming after me. All I can do now is keep my head down and pay it off fair and square.
Hi bidger81,
Great to read your post.
I'm feeling the same with my account now. it used to look awful with all those betting transactions on it. I don't have much money left over now each week but what little I've got is mine. I sold some stuff just recently (de-clutter) and it was a change to feel that money staying in my pocket for a good while and being spent on small luxuries/food etc and not going straight into some gambling disaster.
Keep up the good work.
Excellent post bidger, this is exactly how i'm feeling, all my bills are being paid on time and in full. Yes i have debt but i have been absolutely hammering that since i stopped gambling, i'm not ashamed about my debt as like you i acknowledge that i accumulated this over an extended period of being a muppet but i'm doing the right things and paying it back.
To look at my bank now and see normal withdrawls rather than cash point withdrawl after withdrawl in 1hr windows or card payment after card payment for some online bookie is a good feeling. The little money that i do have now is mine and i quite like to see my bank have a balance which isn't in the red constantly.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
