A trip to the casino

Hi

Im glad you are back on nipped. I do have quite a bit to do so constant free time and counting the days isnt the case 🙂 Ive been on about 3 years and I dont count the days at all now other than a rare glance at my days listed

We are going to have to agree to disagree here and I certainly dont walk around telling gamblers to stop. Even on a recovery forum I can only ask that people might follow the tried and trusted advice.

I feel that you have decided that the abstention crowd are a bit square and a**l about it and you will carry on your way. That is up to you...nobody here can tell you what to do...its your life.

I think with good reason what I disagree with is the continued gambling and the way you have written things down. I am not "aggressively" attacking you other than a strong tone on how I disagree with you. Im more saddened than anything else and would hope you wouldnt advise anyone else to just cut down on casino visits.

Either you really had a problem with it or you didnt. I dont feel you can have it both ways and effectively say Im ok now with the odd flutter folks dont worry

I do believe in freedom of speech but I find it a little strange that you would talk about active gambling in the way you have on the overcoming problem gambling section of the forum.

You have brushed it off as a funny little episode and the whole tone is that you can just do a reduced level of gambling and are now sensible and in control to a manageable point. I can only draw the implication that you are promoting cut down on the gambling and it will all be fine.

People became addicts because gambling affected their minds to the point of illness. A problem drinker cant just have a few drinks again and its the same with gambling in my considered opinion.

Im not sure what Im supposed to" respect" about your continued gambling visits. You say some people will struggle to block which is true but its not as simple as gambling less and less until it becomes manageable. Addicted gamblers dont know when to stop and will be triggered again which is the whole point

I dont see grey area that allows you to talk about reduced gambling as if that is one method of dealing with it. You are right in that it may always be within us but stepping down the level of gambling would not be advised by anyone at GA or on the Gamcare forum as a cure. Other gamblers could see that and think they are in control or its just fine to continue.

I am not trying to personally attack you or have a go for no reason. Im trying to see some good in it and I hope you will keep talking it through and see if we can flesh out how you think other problem gamblers could relate to your post.

Im very happy not going to a casino at all thanks 🙂

Best wishes to you

Hi, I was working with on online couselor/exgambler for a short while and he was saying that complete abstinence was necessary for the first few years. He had destroyed himself through gambling. I was onboard with him for a short while and thought that he could help until he 1/ criticized me because I had not quite been able to quit yet but was serious and seeking a life line of help. He had actually gotten angry with me and used words that were violent. 2/ He told me that after a few years I could begin to experiment and that he himself was just going out for dinner and drinks with his gal and playing low key poker.!? I decided to cut that connection. I found the connection to be dangerous to my own recovery journey and even had to block him from connecting with me. For me, when I hear that people are able to moderate I get to thinking that I can too. And this has been my compulsive gambling dream? fantasy? Thinking that I can moderate lead to relapse after relapse . I always began gambling again thinking that if I just start fresh and forget losses I can at least stop at a limit and take home any wins and they will add up. WRONG. For me this was fueling a forrest fire by lighting one small candle. So , my opinion is that people can write what ever they want on the forums. If someone on a compulsive gamblers help sight writes about being able to control their gambling with little trips to the casino, well it does not matter that they wrote that. People are reading and will balance out that comment with their own experiences and truths so that members who might take that carrot/info and run back to give the old slots /wheel or table game another try ... so that we can deter then from taking that action because we know, we really know that it does not work that way when you are a cg. tara2

Yes, ineffable. But also, perhaps the individual who has gone back to gambling and it's not destructive for them , not destructive for a periods of time /even years. I think that given the right circumstances that person who once was a cg could relapse out of the blue. OR they could be on the slow slow route to disaster. All this said, why even try??? I get so triggered by the prospect. It's sick. tara2

Well I think it crosses the line from interesting debate because of the way its titled and written. He didnt put it in the debate section and ask if he was wrong to keep gambling at some level.

If people didnt really have a problem they wouldnt look for and join this forum. Anyone that has gambled away money that is needed to live on has a problem. I would say that anybody that gambles too much has a problem. Footballers have the problem on salaries we can only dream of so its a complex and nasty addiction

I made the mistake years ago of thinking that the other people In a GA meeting had a serious problem and I didnt. I then went on to gamble for another twenty years after that. Ive had periods away from gambling but it didnt mean I was in control when next gambling. I couldnt go back on a machine now and be in control. I always started by thinking what harm in £10 or £20 but deep down I knew it wouldnt end there. It couldnt...Im an addict for spinning reels and I know I would be all night on casino games if I went to a casino. I was starting to play the fobt roulette more and more before I self excluded and put a stop to it including other blocks

If I had some control over my gambling behaviour I wouldnt be on this forum so all I am really saying is I dont find posts like that helpful. I think a large amount of people gamble and dont think they are addicted even though they are. They will ride the losses somehow until it becomes unmanageable.

I agree with ODAAT and other great contributors who know what its all about. I accept things can be open to question and debate but come on... not a diary of gambling activity on a recovery forum and saying its now under control to manageable point.

To me that is a total disregard for what others are going through and a misunderstanding of the addiction. Its an addiction that needs treating with the fear and respect it deserves.

If anybody wants to try what nipped is doing I wouldnt recommend it and thats putting it mildly

Best wishes to everyone on the forum

Joydivider

I think you hit the nail on the head with

“Its an addiction that needs treating with the fear and respect it deserves”

The problem being is that our society does not see it this way the industry and our government actively promote it ……so unless you have been personally involved in a serious gambling addiction then you can never begin to understand the issues it causes

This is why “gambling addiction” is still a very misunderstood addiction as some people must be able to simply place occasional bets and not become full blown addicts otherwise it would be the case that the majority of Britain would be addicted to gambling and in financial ruin

Im not sure it’s the actual gambling that addicts us but rather greed and a low sense of self worth / unfulfilment in life

Certainly I know when I was at my worst was when other areas of my life were particularly poor gambling provided that chance of an escape from an otherwise mundane and difficult lifestyle

i think until you address these issues in your own lives the gamblers fallacy will always be there and total abistance probably is the only option

through a lot of hard work im at a point now where I am fairly satisfied in life and as a result the my own issue with gambling seems to have calmed down significantly ( this doesn’t mean im completely oblivious to the fact I have had issues with it in the past and need to tread carefully)

one point I will make is that a lot of stories I hear is where people who have had big wins or lots of wins rarely if ever spend the money on themselves I find that strange as the first thing I would do when I won is buy myself something I wanted / needed

a friend of mine who is a heavy GC refuses to do this and he has had several “big wins” of 2K plus I constantly remind him to spend some of it on stuff he needs I’ve even offered to take some of the cash off him and look after it to stop him from wasting it all on horses but he never listens

I don’t think he will ever change because he always thinks next week will be his week and I think that’s the fundamental issue in the mindset that causes the issues not the actual gambling itself

Anyway each to their own these are just my thoughts and my observations

I like that post much better nipped and I think you do understand the ins and outs of a gambling addiction.

I accept that not everyone is a problem gambler and I have always accepted that. However I wont whitewash over how devious the machines are in creating a one more go factor. Is there a free lunch in the world? the gambling dens would certainly have you believe that

How you handle it is entirely up to you and I just worried that any post talking about a reduced level even if significant could upset those in abstention who need to abstain.

Yes gambling was my drug and it seems crazy in many ways to me now. I know the real odds now and I know I could not stop in the past. The chasing started quickly with me because I was addicted to the feeling of playing. The money did play a part but not as much as I would have thought several years ago.

So all the best and you take care