Hi all
I have been gambling and addiction doesn't seem to even be a strong enough word. Obsession maybe.
Firstly I wanted to check the best way to go addressing my problems. I'm about to register with gamstop and have a look at some of the software suggested here but I'm not very IT minded so not sure how that will pan out. Can I ask the bank to stop my card being used for gambling purposes? Have I missed anything? Would be greatful for another suggestions.
I have mental health issues stemming from a traumatic period in my life including OCD and am supported by both psychiatry and psychology. I became obsessed with a certain game on a certain site. My original account had a deposit limit so when I reached that I simply opened another. And another. And another. Across the original and sister sites there must be around 80 accounts! They're all in my name or abbreviations or some in married name and some not. They've been open and used for a few years. I have never used anyone else's money to gamble only my own or made a chargeback to the bank re the deposits. Thankfully these accounts were all closed after a check but my psychiatrist was annoyed that they allowed me to operate so many accounts with the same company and said I should make a complaint.
She's probably right, if I've been able to do it then how many others are being allowed to do it but I'm terrified if I did complain I would be investigated for fraud or deception.
I have two other accounts with two separate companies though I rarely play on them and have never opened multiple accounts with them because it's only the one game that interests me and I focus on. Other sites dont interest me. But acknowledge that as I get fixed on certain things there is no way I can gamble safely and take that chance so will be excluding and using gamstop (also to prevent me opening another account). The sad thing is that my daughter who does gamble responsibly has had her account with the first company closed too as they are saying it's associated with mine. So I'm ashamed as it has affected her.
Any pointers on the way forward for me would be gratefully received as it has gone beyond an addiction.
Hello Bunnyfoo and Welcome to the forum.
Addiction is a strong enough word and this one is deadly.
Please dont rush ahead of yourself. Take a few deep breaths and start to focus in on what you are going to do to ban it from your life.
You are better than gambling and you don't need it in your life. You also need to break the news to your daughter that the words responsible and gambling do not go together and never did. Its the most irresponsible thing anybody could do with money and it quickly turns into a highly addictive drug addiction.
A gambling addiction is a drug addiction more than anything else. Can you talk to your family and friends? It may well be that you need your gadgets removing for a while and you certainly need somebody to monitor you and your money. Unfortunately that can not be your daughter who gambles...you should ask your daughter to stop gambling
Your main problem is a gambling addiction. Your aim in recovery is to get your dignity and self respect back. Your aim is a calmness and strength to get these gambling dens away from you and never allow them into your home again.
Change your email if you have to and get somebody to help you self exclude from everywhere. Ask your bank to prevent any gambling transactions or dont have a card where you know the security code
Take pride in telling the gambling dens that you will not be gambling again and want nothing more to do with them. Just be free of them for now...the time for complaints is much later when you have had more advice.
Abstention is the only way and you will heal. However its not a good sign that your daughter is gambling and its no good for you if she is gambling under the same roof...you dont need any gambling around you.
Its actually good that its stopped your daughter...Do you understand?
Its a mugs game...a lie....a drug! The gambling dens effectively pushed a drug on you.
There is no shame in reaching out for help. You are not alone and one of millions who developed this problem. You will get better with the right help and support
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Hi
Thank you for your advice.
I have signed up to gamstop and set my bank account to refuse gambling transactions.
I am so worried though that I am going to be in trouble legally. Can you give any advice on that?
No I cant really see that you will get in any trouble legally. You have had an addiction. If you mean opening 80 accounts you could not help yourself.
Its understandable and you can explain the urges caused by addiction. People will understand and want to help when you are open and honest with them
They offered you the temptation and you are not ultimately to blame. You have to take responsibility for risking your money but it really isnt all your fault.
Try and get somebody close to help you self exclude and if you dont feel strong they can do the talking for you when you deal with the bank or the gambling dens.
Please tell all these companies that you dont want to gamble anymore. Please dont leave any accounts open.
They are not your friends and indeed they are more your enemies than anything else. Dont worry about the gambling dens...they are no angels and you need to get rid of them for ever....good riddance to them
Start a new life now. Please dont worry...Nobody is coming after you legally . What matters is that you stop gambling.
Best wishes for a gamble free life
Dear @bunnyfoo,
Well done for reaching out for support and starting to address your gambling. I understand you are concerned about possibly being accused of fraud if you make a complaint. It may be worth contacting Citizens advice and get some free advice from them, they will be able look into the legalities for you and hopefully put your mind at ease.
You don't need to be a an IT wizz to install and use the locking software, it is simple process to do and the Gamban support are really good if you need them.
If you haven't done so already give the helpline a call on 0808 8020 133 or come through on the live chat and speak to one of the advisers to see how else we can support you.
We look forward to speaking to you,
Take care
John
Forum admin
Hi Bunnyfoo,
Ive just returned here after gambling on and off since I joined back in 2015.
what I like about this site and the chat is being amongst others that understand exactly how you feel, including the struggle.
You spoke about a particular site, and sister sites, I hope I’m not breaking any rules, but can I ask if it was by chance owned by Gam***, and one of the sites are JJ? Why am I asking? Because I have experienced the exact same and I had multiple accounts for both myself and my partner. I got “hooked” on a number of slots that you would only find of these sites. That was a few years go. But I’ve since developed a “loving” (the best way for me to describe it) for another slot of late, which can be found on many sites! Not so good. I’ve joined Gamstop, but have, of late been joining my partner, with his permission of course.
Yesterday I realised enough is enough and I contacted chat on here. They’ve put me in touch with a councillor who is calling me tomorrow for my first appointment. I can’t wait. By the way, I have gamban downloaded to every device in the house now. I previously was able to remove it from one device which started the whole thing up again.
Sorry, I’m waffling. But I’m just glad to be back here amongst people who understand.
Take care Tx
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