Anyone been in this situation before?

Hi Deontay,

I was literally in the exact same position as you. I was expecting my first child with my partner, living in rented accommodation and didn't have a cent to my name. To make matters worse, I was also a five figure sum in debt. Probably like you I didn't or couldn't see a way out and thought that I could pay the immediate bills through gambling. I borrowed money from friends and family but I inevitably lost that money and only made my situation worse. For the next few years I availed of a number of pay day loans to help me in the short term but again that only increased my debt. Things absolutely spiralled for me until my partner found out how much debt I was in. As you can imagine my world came crashing down and I couldn't see a way out. But over time things did get better. As my missus now knew about my debts, I was able to apply for a consolidating loan with her full knowing to put all my debts in one place. I joined a GA group and told friends and family about my problems. They were hurt at first but again those relationships healed over time. But everything started with my partner knowing the situation. I know it probably seems insane telling your partner especially as she appears to be heavily pregnant, but without her support, I think it will be very hard to get through this. I didn't have the courage to tell my partner and when she found out, that was a big thing. That she found out rather than me telling her. It's up to you what you do, but I would strongly advise you of sharing that with her as your starting point. Things get easier after that. I wish you the best of luck.

Cheers, Happy

Hi DW and welcome to the forum.

We understand what you are going through and you need to stay on the forum as a long term member.

The immediate issue is that you seem addicted to gambling. Its a drug addiction and you need a born again moment to reach out for help.

You have seen what gambling does and we have been caught in that cycle.

The way out is a born again moment when you finally realise that it was never a top up scheme and its not an income scheme. Its random, not reliable and the odds are well against you. its not free or easy money and all the risk is with you. Thats why its called gambling

Do you think the gambling dens ever have to sell their cameras? No exactly because all the risk is with you. You are gambling against massive hedge funds...they dont break a sweat but you sure make them richer!

I hope you will reach out and tell your family everything. There is a way of building a life up slowly. Ive been bankrupt twice but am still allowed a small amount of credit and I have a rainy day fund now.

Gambling is not an option for you. That is delusional and the addiction talking. The future is facing reality and living within your means. You can get financial advice and there's got to be a better way of looking at things than scraping by with loans and selling your possessions.

You need to see the light and get free from the drug of gambling. It's not the answer and never was. The truth is you knew that ages ago but addiction is an overwhelming force.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

yes i can vividly remember trying to make £13 last about 10 days 

and also another time trying to scramble £2.40 together to buy a coffee 

i was very young at that point maybe 22/23 and living at home so was sort of able to just about manage but can remember deciding then i didn't ever want to be in this position again 

and touch wood i haven't 

you will find a way through this tough time , the tricky bit is making sure you dont end up in it again

Hi D

i will echo what Happy has said.  Transparency is key.  Like Happy I was only this once I was found out.

I was in about 50k of debt and hit my rock bottom.

since then we’ve had a second child and now consolidated everything and out of real debt.

it’s tough but from experience until you get caught / come clean you will end up digging a bigger hole trying to get out of the one you are in and for a CG that hole only gets much deeper.

keep safe,  take care of yourself and open up would be my advice.  That day will be the hardest of your life but also the best moving forwarder.

Stay strong brothee

f

Posted by: deontaywilder

Good evening all,

I have a few issues as a result of problem gambling. Just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation & how they got out.

I've listed a few immediate issues here:

- No money whatosever in account, borrowed money from various family members who expect it back end of month. Credit score shot to bits due to defauls etc so cant get a loan. Sold my camera (which I could have used to generate a second income) for cash to gamble. Newborn baby due in a month. All that plus a hundred other expenses typical of being a family man.

I guess my point is, this is the only way I can see myself surviving the next few months without using gamlbing as a way to earn short term cash as its the only realistic option I see.

 

yep, all too many times.

Gambling always makes it worse.

only way out is work, wage and patience.