At a complete loss again.

Ok.....

stop gambling, first rule 

work out a payment plan for debts, you have to have reasonable funds to live on.take no s**t

the money has gone, stop digging.

pit in place online blockers and self exclude so you can’t gamble.

trust a friend or family member to look after your money.

theres no easy way out of it, gambling will NOT solve it, it makes it worse as you know.

do all of the above and then realise it’s a long road to fix but you can do it, try to do it quick and you will relapse.

good luck

Posted by: NoInterest9

I don’t want to give up my freedom in life or having money in order to prevent this. 

 

If you really want to give up you can't have it both ways. Take the concrete measures including handing over  your finances you'll have read about here and start attending GA. Committing to stopping means some inconvenience but I've never seen anyone here who really wanted to stop regret a minute of it.

How much do you want it?

Posted by: NoInterest9

Hi 

thought I’d post here as I’m just at a loss to be honest. I guess I’m mentally in the worst state yet because of my gambling. 

As im back in a situation where I owe people money, credit card companies keep calling me, long term pay day loans remain outstanding, phone bill unpaid and I guess that’s just the start. 

It’s so bad even mentally I’ve given up with all financial aspects of my life, I just gamble any change I have without any sort of remorse or care anymore and I feel beyond that. 

I’m living with parents again after gambling broke me down with my last relationship and moved out, who see all these debts and bills through the door but they don’t have that anger anymore so I feel like after bailing me out 2/3 times before, they too have given up. 

I don’t have any petrol or money to even get to work Tuesday and right now don’t even have much of a care for that. I’m a complete shadow of my former self. Whilst my friends are out having fun I’m having to decline all invites and face my social anxiety of ‘fomo’ and depress myself further. 

Over the years I’ve spoken to people, had dozen + hypnotherapy sessions, been to GP, all in regards to my gambling but nothing has worked to this day. I have had months long periods of no gambling but I can’t do it. My mind won’t allow me to avoid that gamble. I don’t want to give up my freedom in life or having money in order to prevent this. 

So right now I’m a lost cause without any purpose for anything, my ambition and future prospects have been wiped well away. 

Anyway just nice to get some thoughts down. 

Thanks. 

It's hard. I genuinely sympathise with you. Having a gambling addiction is truly one of the hardest things I have battled and overcome. There is help out there. Definitely!!! 

I too have been back and forwards with it and it all came to a head when my parents noticed my lack of interest in anything, staying in of an evening and weekend spending no money and the regular calls and emails from collection agencies and whoever else. 

It's horrible trying to overcome this. Tonight I feel sick because I've spent several hundred. That's the first time in 4 months I've gambled. It's a switch and once it has been flicked there's no going back. 

I have a debt management plan with Step Change and I can't recommend them enough. They deal with all my creditors on my behalf and apportion 1 monthly amount between them all. Done. No calls, no letters, nothing. Pressure lifted. My parents have been looking after my money and it has worked (despite tonight which I will confess to). 

You need to want to stop. You need alternative distractions to suppress the desire. You need to join gamstop and stop looking for other places to gamble. You'll never ever ever win back what you lose. It's gone. It can't be recouped. 

Talk to your friends and family. Help and support is key if you want to move forward. I am more than happy to talk and offer help and advice. 

Posted by: Lethe

Posted by: NoInterest9

I don’t want to give up my freedom in life or having money in order to prevent this. 

 

If you really want to give up you can't have it both ways. Take the concrete measures including handing over  your finances you'll have read about here and start attending GA. Committing to stopping means some inconvenience but I've never seen anyone here who really wanted to stop regret a minute of it.

How much do you want it?

Hi Nointrest,

This has to be done in the first period of recovery. You need you tie up your money with a friend or family member and tie up your time keep busy and active. No money no bet, if it’s in someone else’s account the temptation isn’t there. 

I would look at going to a local GA meeting. The help and support there is fantastic.

So right now I’m a lost cause without any purpose for anything, my ambition and future prospects have been wiped well away. 

I understand if you feel this way now but your future is in your hands now, this is not the end this is the beginning right?

But like anything it will take time, effort and changes will come slowly and progressively. 

You're future prospects have not been wiped away. Sorry to tell you this but whatever happens you're future is going to happen - whether there are prospects associated with that is now completely in your hands... You now want to be free of gambling, take the opportunity.

You are not used to having anything in your hands, least of all your prospects. You feel like anything that enters your hands tend to slip through them... This has become your modus operandi hence your view about life's prospects. 

They will probably slip through your hands if you carry on thinking like this. 

And remember changes won't be immediate. You need to keep the faith.

Or you can go back to gambling and see what happens from there. You know what will inevitably happen from there? You've been there loads of times.

Time for a change.

?

If you read many diaries you will find that people who put a period of clean time behind them build a new life for themselves. At times they are lost but they eventually find their way out of the wilderness. 

Right now you're dumped straight in the middle of the wilderness. Find your way out starting now. make a plan. 

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. That's not going to turn your life around is it... Collect all that energy and apply it to your recovery plan.