Back Again

Hey, im also 27 years old but my addiction has only been really bad within the last 2-3 years. 
i can totally relate to you about finding sites that are not on gamstop but its always the worry that you wont get that money back which has also happened before.

the only advice i could really give is to keep the mind busy, maybe find a new hobby. I found adult colouring very therapeutic, when i also get urges to gamble i put my phone down and find a little job/task to complete 

Posted by: uk126

Hi Everyone 

I’ve been in here a few times find it helps me massively and I appreciate all the advice in the past. I’m 27 years old been gambling for about 10 year and estimate I’ve lost in the region of 30K. I have a good job and no debt. I managed to stop gambling for about 3 month and felt great. For some reason I got the urge to gamble again and found a betting app I had never heard of before. I’m blocked from every gambling site I can think of but managed to find this one just to get a bet on. Long story short lost about £400. I’ve lost a lot more in the past but this one hurt just as much especially after doing so well. For me it’s trying to cling onto some hope that I will win back the money and damaged I’ve caused in the past but I know it will never happen. 

Any advice appreciated. 

Hi. I have not posted on the site for a while but your post just stood out as I have had this happen in the past where I relapsed like you did.

Sorry to hear of your relapse. Probably felt like the worst loss of all given your fantastic progress. It will feel like this for a few days/weeks. But; there is hope... I think the key message here is, there were not enough blocks in the first place. What I mean by this is; you have STILL managed to find a way to gamble. What about debit card gambling restriction block via your bank? To block gambling transactions. What about a daily ATM withdrawal limit to limit to cap how much you can withdraw? Ie; to mitigate the risk. 

The other thing I would suggest is, to try and understand what the trigger was for you to gamble. Was it a time that u felt so relaxed? Was it a time you were stressed? What stopped you from saying No to the gambling trap? 

I am gamble-free for 303 days but it has felt like 5 years because it has been so hard! I have muddled through though and it is getting easier as this is normal now, with the blocks in place and understanding how my brain works and stepping up those barriers when any temptation is there.

All the best mate and remember nothing is lost, you will succeed!

The clinging on to the hope that you will win it back is the key thing that's holding you back. But ask yourself this question. If you won it back would it stop there? The next downward spiral could be worse and more devastating to your life if it happened. To be completely free is to appreciate all that is free. Love, a smile, tenderness, laughter, a hug, friendship etc. These things can't be bought with gambling winnings and don't depreciate with a loss.

Forget about the loss. Let go. Sometimes it takes a loss to see the world differently. 

Don't focus on money, focus on the free things you take for granted and open your heart to them more. 

That's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to open my senses to the world, rather than having tunnel vision about gambling and pointless materialistic financial progression. 

When I was little a 10p pack of sweets could seem like a dream. It's all about perspective.

Hi uk126,

As someone who has been on the recovery journey for quite awhile now and who has had some success, I want you to know that the key to beating gambling is having in place effective barriers between you and gambling, so that even when you get an irresistible urge to gamble, the barriers are there to stop you from acting on your urge. Importantly, never rely on willpower alone. It will just lead to relapse after relapse.

Speaking of barriers, if you gamble online, I highly encourage you to contact all the services that enable you to deposit money into online casinos and request that they permanently ban you from their services. This is a super effective barrier to put in place to prevent future relapses. Online casinos are infinite, but the deposit enablers are just a handful. Doing this has really helped me (I’m now 2 years gamble-free).

Email template you can use:

Subject heading: Request for permanent account ban.

Hi there,

Please immediately and permanently ban me from using your services. I have been using your services in ways that are not good for my wellbeing. I would like that to stop and having my account permanently banned is an essential step. Thank you for taking my well-being seriously and doing as I have requested.

My information is as follows: [insert the relevant info such as account name or the email you have associated with them or, in the case of ****, the email you use to make **** transfers]

Sincerely,

[Insert your name]

Other effective barriers include:

1. Self-exclusion from land-based casinos.
2. Having an accountability partner whose opinion of you you care about. You don’t want to disappoint them, and this acts as an emotional barrier to gambling.
3. Softwares like Gamban, Coldturkey, Betblocker, ScreenTime on iphone (get someone else to set up a password so you can’t alter the settings once they’re set)
4. If need be, have a loved one manage your finances for you.

The more barriers, the better. Good luck my friend. You got this.