Back again.

Daz, the only thing you can do to stop this cycles is not gamble. Easier said than done, I know! You gotta just stop or things will get worse. The minute you stop things will get better, it won't feel like it at first but as the days rack up you'll start to feel better. It's the only way to go bro!

Thanks Tom, I know how stopping gambling makes me feel so much better as I've managed it for long periods but with my history of depression any major problem in my life means I go on a self distruct mission for weeks or months. I didn't mention above what led to this problem but a friend of 25 years passed away, drank himself to death basically because of loneliness and depression it was almost like staring into a mirror. I just found a way to gamble again and mixed with drink went on a rampage really not giving a d**n about myself or the people around me. I've so far stayed away from gambling and drink for nearly 2 weeks and I'm starting to get my head straight. The next thing I think should be a trip to my GP to once again discuss depression, doesn't seem like much of a future at the moment but it could be worse. I still have my job and as I said before financially I haven't made things worse if anything they're slightly better than before this episode started.

Time to drag myself to the gym that always clears my head a little.

Ok Daz, you have a plan, GP re medication for depression or talking therapies. Regular visits to the gym, get a routine going. Make sure blocks in place to prevent gambling. Talk on here, it does help. Best wishes.

Not been on for a while but I’m working a night shift and it’s quiet so thought I’d write a couple of lines. Finally found a solution to online gambling, I shredded all my cards and now use a basic account with an atm card only. It’s taken some getting used to but without the means the urge to gamble has gone. My depression is sort of under control thanks to a cocktail of medication and I’m trying to build a normal life again. I hope everyone is doing ok and looking forward to Christmas.

Well done mate. I'm currently on day 2 after a huge binge which saw me lose the last of what I had put aside. Rock bottom really is an eye opening place! Committed now to staying gf and rebuilding everything I've lost, financially emotionally and mentally. Have a good Xmas

Well I’ve survived Christmas and New Year without crumbling it’s always been a bad time for me in the past. Life is a bit strange these days being drugged up with anti depressants and having to pay cash for absolutely everything but ‘strange’ is a better feeling than waking up realising I’d lost a fortune online the night before. Maybe I’m finally getting somewhere.