well here I am the day after a massive week of losing. Over 15k... had good weeks and bad but I know I have a problem and I hate it. It's ruined so many aspects of my life. Today is day 1 , I already start to feel better but then you have that moment of thinking of the losses and the misery sets in..... my gf knows everything and she is so supportive... but I'm so ashamed. I have a decent job and can make money but still the loss really hurts... today I even put my car for sale as I really don't need it and at least I will replace my losses and can buy a cheaper car. I know it sounds silly but I just want to forget it. I have done this before (blocked myself from some shops) but lapsed somehow starting small and again building up. I'm 35 nearly and I have been gambling 10 years roughly. The thing is when I don't gamble I feel so good and my mind is great and I'm not glued to my phone or Internet. The thought of having a life again makes me feel so good but somehow the demons in my head sometimes say go on have one bet and you only think of the winning. How is that possible to overcome?i have a great girlfriend, I go to the gym I have a young son (doesn't live with me) so I have things to live for but when I'm losing I'm totally mental and bet so Heavy. If I think about it I could easily cry. Anyway I don't want pity I just really want some advice on how do you get by each day guys? Does it get easier? The thought of gambling now makes me feel so sick it's turns my stomach but how long will this feeling last? Will I get the urge again? I really hope not. :(((
Is there anyway I could get GA help? A meeting etc. Today I didn't even want to wake up.
Problems166 -
Apart from the age and slight difference is loss amount I could have posted that. Then you mention you don't want to wake up and I'm exactly the same.
Lost best part of 90K during my life. Had loans from my disabled sick Mom to pay gambling debts. Ran up more debts.
I've been to GA meetings but it's not for me and didnt work. I'm hoping for one to one therapy but I feel it's like the elusive big winner and won't ever happen.
Best regards to you and thanks for making me realise I'm not alone.
David
Are you still gambling?
It's day 2 for me today..
I am by no means an expert at all this but I am of the belief that to bring about a change you need to make changes.
With each passing day things get easier but I found in the early days I had to break my routine. I read lots of recovery diaries to understand the addiction/compulsion and eventually put a few blocks in place.
Recovery requires change and acceptance:
- accept that your loses can't be won back.
- accept that you can't win because the odds are stacked against you.
- accept that you can't win because you can't stop.
Find new hobbies and give recovery a chance.
I blocked myself from all the bookies which are around me... just as a reminder that I really can't gamble. They way it takes over your life is so so scary. When I don't gamble I'm such a different person and my brain works so much better. I don't wanna even think of losing another penny to those people. I have to save now for my future. I know this is my last chance. I will stay close to this forum as a reminder of the destruction it WILL cause if I ever gamble again. We all hope for that big win but in reality it's just an excuse to keep gambling as when we win we put it all back into their hands anyway.
What happens at GA meetings?
Hi Problem 166
You are on the right road at least that's what I think after joining this we just have to make sure we stick with it.
Best of luck.
Thanks mate it means a lot. This weekend I'm actually making plans with my gf. I'm in the real world and not glued to betting sites. Ofcourse if I think of the losses I feel bad but I will focus on saving now and be a winner. I know there is a better life out there, I truly want to stay on this path. My advice to anyone is to own up to your spouse or partner and start the journey together. A problem shared is a problem halved.
Hello Problems
Well done for telling your GF It was a real turning point for me. I knew i didn't want to let her down again.
What Itmatters said I totally agree with. I found once I accepted the debt, I that I'd created the situation and it was going to take hard work and commitment on my part to rebuild what I'd broken in my relationships I was able to focus on getting better.
All the best mate.
Conradnose
check out my blog www.conradnose.com
Sorry it took so long to get back to you I restrict my online time.
As I said we are similar. You are not alone I can assure you. I was 10k in debt and gave up. I worked all the overtime i could and got it down to 4K debt. I then decided to open an online betting account deposit 4K and back an even money shot. Well it won and I broke even.
I then decided to bet a further £100 and I lost. I then spent 28500 trying to win it back.
Ive been bailed out by my disabled mom. Then got back in debt. i've tried to kill myself and failed at that also.
Ive been to GA meetings but found them to be very "lad" orintated and not for me. I went to the doctor to ask for one to one services which id pay for but all i got a leaflet about joining GA.
I feel its wrong that its not possible to buy shares with a credit card yet its possible to gamble. I've sent letters to my MP and direct to two prime ministers. The answer in not so many words was b****r off its your problem.
I feel sorry for you as when I wake I think to myself on sod it another day and im still alive. I've given up all hope and just exsist one day to the next.
Please let me know how its going for you.
David thanks. I actually did one on one therapy years ago and hated it. It just seemed like hocus pocus stuff. Asking about my childhood. I thought it was creepy.
David are you still gambling? Today is the first Saturday I haven't gambled in years and with so much sport on it's a good first hurdle for me. I don't even check scores now. That will take some time 🙂
Hi David
Just wanted to check to see how you are doing?
Hello Chocolate and everyone.
Like problems I'm not doing to well. I have massive debts and it'll take years to pay it off. I already know that I'll get to a certain level and gamble again and the circle will begin over. I'm not a addict It's worse I must have some kind of mental illness. I have no friends and family dont wish to know me. I can't go bankrupt as I've done it once due to gambling. Didnt learn the lesson then so why now.
As problems has said almost every day i wake up and curse the fact that I'm still alive. A great shame I'm not an animal or they would have put me down years ago.
i've asked for one to one help but nobody listens. I have been on this site before and left and i have no idea why i joined again but then i have no idea or control of my life at all.
If ever you wish to gamble think of me cos it'll be you eventually.
Thank you for asking about me it's very nice of you.
David
Hello, David2017,
Welcome back to the forum, it sounds like you are really feeling the impacts of continued problem gambling and how it has isolated you from friends and family, and your own emotional wellbeing.
If you need further advice and support please, call our helpline Freephone: 0808 8020 133 or use the netline chat and speak with one of our advisors, we can provide you with information of free local 1 to 1 counselling services you can access.
You may also want to call the Samaritans freephone 116 123 if you ever need to talk and are struggling with your current feelings, there ae services who can provide further support, and you have already taken a positive step by re-engaging with the forum and other forum users here today.
Take Care
Warm Regards
Forum Admin
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