Dope-a-mine. Why is seeking a buzz always negative?

Yes good post Dan, relate to that a hell of a lot more than a mantra

Had a convo last night with a good mate who's not a CG or addict of any sort. He's got himself in with a partner who's got various issues. She's always trying to make him go to a therapist, telling him he's being arrogant thinking he doesn't need one.

I think he doesn't - he's sorted, has excellent relationships, very kind and confident. But...some people might need some kind of new perspective on things. Original poster - I kind of like your style and would agree that therapy, steps, self help, 'shouldn't' be necessary. IDEALLY.

If your current thinking is able to sustain you to lead the kind of life you want to live (deep down) and be who you want to be, then cool. No need for external help. But if it isn't, then your ego 's getting in the way of things. Which is really gona slow things down. You're an addict. By definition you're struggling There's really nothing weak about getting help or taking on different perspectives. Learning from failure is how you get good stuff.

Louis

Thanks for your helpful post day@time. It's certainly food for thought.

Please tell me how you dealt with the realisation "Youre left with the fact youre a pretty ordinary man whose whole life has been spent hiding from life."

I'm a man who suffers from low self-esteem to the point I actually think it might be a personality disorder. My addictions are the only things that give me pleasure. Almost in a Hellraiser sense. All my heros suffered for their addictions. William Burroughs, Charles Bukowski, Ernest Hemmingway, Hunter S Thompson, Oliver Reed, Peter o' Toole, Richard Burton.

(I'm probably showing my age with those references lol) But my point is, growing up, they were my hereos. They all had massive drinking/gambling/drug addictions. It's very easy for you as a keyboard warrior to say - "hey, just realise you're a normal joe, you'll feel so much better when you get 'clean' and realise your whole last 30 years were a lie and you've now got nothing. It'll be wonderful because you're now not living a lie...."

Great! What happens to me after that? Suicide? I mean really? What does someone with no real life support network do when they realise their whole adult self-validation is based on bulls h it?

You deal with it with a new pride that you are in touch with reality

I am an ordinary man. Plain ordinary. I havent written a best selling book or song and Im not on the world stage. Ive not even started my own business.

I am man enough to face up to living a lie and admit to being a lazy dreamer. It can be a disorder of the personality or self esteem issues. Im man enough to realise I had a laziness in the soul and I was jaded and depressed

The world is out there to be experienced. Im alive and I get to experience all that I can.

Theres no point escaping in a booze and gambling filled haze.

It doesnt mean you are worthless SV It just means that you have lost sight of reality and whats really important.

What happens afterwards is you find a positive buzz to feel alive. Travel, go bungie jumping, collect things, a good human relationship...whatever floats your boat.

There really are no excuses that gambling, drinking and smoking are the only things that can give you pleasure

One of your heroes and agreed he talks alot of sense. So, a humble suggestion is why not try listening to his words and ' Go all the way '

* link removed by Forum Admin

Does anyone here think it would be helpful if Gambling Addiction could be classified as a mental illness?

Reading around the internet there's disorders like Fibromalgyia and M.E. where people who suffer from it go batshit crazy if anyone dare suggest it's a mental illness, because they are desperate for their conditions to be seen as a medical disease, as if it's "only" a mental health issue it's somehow not important.

If we drink 2 bottles of whiskey a day for a year, or shoot a gramme of skag into our veins every day the same, then our bodies become accustomed and if we stop a physiological painful withdrawl ensues, not because we imagine it, but pure biology.

The same can't be true of Gambling. Our desire to make money, chase loses, not feel like a loser, emotional damage, fear, anxiety, boredom, etc, are certainly powerful things but only ever psychological.

There's no pathology for a gambling addict. No operation whereby a surgeon can extract the gambling cancer and then - boom! We're cured!

But I think if we look at CGs as being mentally ill, and engaging in behaviour they know is killing them but they still don't care, then I think a whole new world of treatment funded possibilities opens up.

Of course Gambling shares the same stigma with obesity - people have the right to eat themselves to death if they want, food isn't addictive in the same way that smoking/alcohol/drugs are. People have the right to gamble themselves to death if they want. Nanny state shouldn't stop them, we all have free will. So, maybe we should let people get on with their lifestyle choices?

But clearly for some people, myself included in the past, gambling becomes about more than just making money to pay the bills. I think it should be seen as a mental illness.

Any thoughts?

The thought process of any addiction is abnormal and I think it is an illness. But that doesn't remove the addict's responsibility for his or her actions and it doesn't remove the basic choice between using and seeking recovery.

CW

Thanks for the response CW. Interesting. But don't we all, if we're honest, suffer from "abnormal thought processes" in one way or another, whether it's about looking in the mirror and seeing a fat b*m and "if only I can lose a few pounds then I'll suddenly feel powerful and confident, worthwhile and self-validated, etc", or whether it's a MUCH more damaging "I'll just try a cheeky tenner and try and win a few pounds then I'll suddenly feel...."

?

I think it should be classed as a mental illness and from my experience it certainly contributes to making any existing mental issues far worse. It certainly has mine.

Don't get me wrong, I know I have made mistakes when it comes to gambling, but I think it proves we are all accepting of our problems and accountability by seeking help and being honest. At least I like to think so and if believing in a higher power helps, I'm all for it.

Heh so not as eloquent as other posts but you get my meaning.

- Kibble

Personally, looking back on my own gambling addiction I think it's rare that a gambling problem lives in isolation. If you have a gambling problem you probaby have other "issues" - and gambling is just a symptom.

Anxiety, Depression, Personality Disorder, Alcohol/Drug Dependency - these are gambling's best mates. Feeding off each other.

It's all well and good to just stop gambling, you'll certainly save a lot of money. But that gnawing feeling in the belly won't go away until you address the co-morbid other issues.

I'm only talking about myself, but I reckon it's probably universal too (happy to be corrected though).

I think you are bang on at least for the majority I would think. Have to say, love your original post. Very well put indeed.

thanks Kibble, how you doing today?

mike

So what it is...Are you a greedy sob or do you have an illness? You seemed to have changed your mind half way through the thread which suggests progress?

I have no idea what category my 'problem' fell into & if I did, it wouldn't have stopped me! As you have just posted, it's documented that addiction is a symptom, rarely the cause but how can NHS money better serve us than the counselling we can get through this website, the experience of a GA room or counselling services already provided by our GPs. Sitting watching day time telly isn't going to cut the mustard for people who get their fix by jumping out of planes & only the 'dry gambler' knows if being dry is enough for them. Unless you work hard @ the tried & tested methods of recovery, you can't hope to benefit from them.

There is life after a 30 year gambling career, I'm living it! I may not be bouncing off the walls everyday but I'm finally taking responsibility for my dumb decisions & feeling a helluva lot better for it!

Are you looking for help SV? If you are & you genuinely have no real life support network, find a way to get to GA, the guys & gals there could be just what you need!

We are all better than our addictions, only we can decide to stop them controlling us - ODAAT

Its a mind control illness or an illness of the mind.

When an alcoholic sits in drinking to destruction you can all see the danger of what is happening there. Its clear that no rational thought is taking place and that its self destructive behaviour. The next morning they will have the shakes and its so bad that the mind and body need alcohol again to steady it. The mind craves it and not so long afterwards the body feels it depends on it.

In no way is that person healthy of mind or body

Its the same with gambling and the sooner people admit its an illness and learn about the power of the mind to control the body the better.

When I was gambling I thought I was a bit down but I was infact heavily depressed. This illness contributed to another illness of gambling addiction. I now see who I was like Ive come out of a bad dream.

Its clear and I had to start admitting painful things like I was lonely. No one night stand or quick chats with aquaintances was curing it

I gambled because I liked the feeling. Having just gone through it again with my counsellor, I didnt want to go home to the emptiness. I wanted to keep gambling and unfortunately for me fruit machines are set up for exactly that sort of personality disorder and depressive illness. They were a stress reliever and although greed plays a part I wasnt ultimately playing for the money

I couldnt walk away. I did get something out more than the lottery ever gave me but I couldnt walk away.

I was ruining my finances. Eventually it had to be about self discipline and recovery. People can advise you but every recovering gambler needs the self discipline and real support to set up blocks and stick by them.

Being open and talking to family helps set up a support network and being monitored helps. In the early days willpower alone will not be enough and its well recognised that it may always be within us to some extent.

All I know is that Im happy spending my money properly and I dont need gambling in my life.

Best wishes to everyone