Now I've just hit 1095 days gamble free three full years....,...id like to take a step back from thinking about work too much (after all as lids says we don't get paid to do that in our own time)....I'd like to step back from searching for overtime...... I'd like to spend the next year appreciating THE NOW!!. WHEN I LOOK BACK IN DEC 23 I'd like to see that I've taken more time socialising with friends and family in my flat.....I'd like to have them over for BBQs in the summer months, to watch football and play Xbox in the winter months...... Who needs pub prices when I've got my pad and garden.
I'm not going to seek money this year I'm going to rest easy in the thought that I have all I need ...
I'm going to look to energize and rest my mind more.....Ill focus on ignoring my voices in head when I get them..... They aren't real I'm going to focus on improving my skitsophrenia mental health thru not indulging in it when it occurs.....I'll now focus on my coping techniques and not delve into it I'll leave it to oneside ..... Just focus on resting the mind.
After all nothing has happened thru past twelve years why should that change.
So ENJOY THE NOW 2023..... IM IN THE PRIME OF MY LIFE albeit middle aged now at 41 but still with my friends and family around I will love to spend time with them.
This will be my new journal let's see where it takes me..... I'm not going to tally up all my objectives they will come naturay with the year should I succeed but safely to say they are same as previous year......
No vices as usual......healthy pursuit of a healthy soul.....little bit of everything....... Work life balance...... Enjoy the now 2023 here I come..... I will strive to write about how I have enjoyed each week and what I am thankful for.....
I am obviously very thankful for gamcare and everyone associated with it xxxx
Adam,
Fabulous post.
Well done on your abstinence and continued zest for living your best life.
Free from gambling we have countless opportunities to live a happy and healthy life. Free from gambling we have the motivation to make good healthy choices.
RR
Hi rr thanks for popping by love seeing a post.... Today I'm thankful for many things...... My parents came round and helped me clear nine bin loads of leaves..... They also got me two Lego sets for Xmas.....I also with these sets bought a watch I've been playing with tonight..... Then England won their world cup game ...... Soo many things to be thankful for xxxx
Another few days have passed..... ive watched all the games.....England thru again..... back to work tomo for the rest of the week...... then watch the game saturday night with some friends coming over.....then work mon-weds then thurs - sunday off again....
Put my lego Ironman together today looks pretty good.
Today im thankful for football and all it brings to my life!!!!!!
Recovery going great....zero vices... maximum saving....healthy pursuits....
Also im thankful that my dads hip operation went well today... he deserved a good op and he got one.....
Ninght night xx
Wanted to watch this world cup with friends around my flat as I found I become a bit anxious in pubs last euros last summer..... So it's been good round mine generally friends well behaved even tho they drinking..... However tonight one of the friends that came over was too drunk swearing all sorts racist comments, when we got a pizza he was putting it down on my new sofa, he rested his glass on my sofa, missed the toilet when P*****g, tried to fall asleep in my bed, trainers on new carpets, I've got them to leave and luckily I've got rugs over new sofa but will have to wash them all now...... Really ruined my evening as I couldn't concentrate on the game as I felt like I was babysitting.......really puts a downer on inviting friends over......never again .
Plus england out now ?
Really the whole evening has been terrible....going to apologies in morning to my neighbour Incase they heard anything..... Might buy them a coffee to apologies....
He's also left his phone here so I'm going to take it round a different friends in morning as I don't want to see him again.
Not happy and now I can't sleep.
@adam123 Although that’s absolutely terrible Adam, you do sound like you’ve handled it extremely well. That is certainly a situation that would trigger me the next day, but hopefully you have thought it all through and seen and now realised what you need to do. Your life and your flat, live it and have round who you want, bur drink is no excuse. I hope they’ve all apologised ,but either way don’t let it bother you too much as I’m sure you see the bigger picture here and will figure it out and do the right thing for yourself.
cheers lids for popping by..... had a downer this morning eg going back to work after a weekend.... a weekend full of emotion sothing which is very tiring.... plus with no sleep on the saturday night sunday night i slept deeply..... for 12 hours.... just about to go to bed now and will aim to be fully recharged by wednesday ... then thursday and friday i have off work so will c if i can go for a walk around town.
Finances wise was asked if i fancied some friends coming down for the night this week for a meal but i think ive done enough socialising for one year!!!! going to spend some alone time for the rest of the month.... recharge.... spend time with family and work hard.
I've topped up my sainsburys card with 150 pounds for the next two months..... and will aim to save the majority of the money i have coming in over the next couple of months.... it really is amazing what you can achieve when you put your mind to it.....
Gonna stay in new years and look to spend a bit of time on here...... reminiscing.....reflecting.....setting objectives for new year.....think however ill aim to just relax more..... be kind to myself and focus on my mental and physical health.
all the best Adam xx
Was in a better frame of mind yesturday night so ive invited friends down to go for a curry friday night..... ive got the next two days as holiday days then the weekend all to look forward to.
My friend who acted really badly on saturday night phoned me this eve to apologise.... He was trying to explain himself but in reality at 42 years old we should be better behaved...... I said it was fine and left it on good terms for when friends meet up again but i think in future i wont have him over.
Not really tired today but not rested...... done a lot at work..... done a funny christmas survey for work and sent it out today..... spent a lot of time getting it right and i think itll boost moral a bit....
My boss wants to add to my workload again and says that we aren't busy but in all honesty i'm allways busy and there's not a lot extra i can do.... ill just ride the storm....
Ate an entire pot of ice ream tonight..... not a good move tbf but im on holiday lol
Gonna play xbox online with a friend tomo afternoon then got the flats annual meeting tomo night rock and roll ey
All the best Adam
Few more days of indulgence whilst off work....Had thursday and friday off and the weekend. Went to town i forget which day but i went and purchased a star wars figure jango fett.... Then had a spot of lunch...then went for a coffee...then went out with some friends for a curry....then last night i purchased some secondhand dvds online.... Bought them as ive been watching series of suits and billions this week.... So they are in the post...
Today woke up at midday after a nice long sleep and went to the coffee shop opposite (reallly do love that there's one opposite me and that its really really good coffee)....
Now im watching the wrold cup final and just made myself a nice bolognese for dinner....
I'm working all next week, a lotr of people seem to be off this week but i selected to have the world cup off instead. So im in all next week then off work the christmas weekend and the 27th and 28th....then a few days of work then new years....then a fresh new year.
So all in all a good week... i've indulged in christmas retail therapy, ive bought all my presents for the fam and am ready for the new year....
Merry christmas to all xxx
oh and i almost forgot today is day 1111 for me !!!! symetrical
Another christmas day done and dusted...i wanted to give thanks on this space to things that i continue to be thankfull for..... Of all things im thankful for my family.... my batteries about to run out so ill keep this short..... my family and friends have stuck by me thru a tough experience ive had having mental health problems and it took me to very low points and thru these tough moments theyve really shown me the way and got me the help ive needed.....
Now today i sarw my closest family members and we celebrated and i can honestly say that it was, has and will be brilliant spending time with them.
My dad even said that when he went in for his op they said my news bulletin really lightened the mood in hte hospital.... its really great to hear this and even better hearing it from my dad as i like to make him proud and obviously having skitsophrenia maybe because of recreational drugs i like to now make a mens.
Bit of retail therapy today...... now i have lots of coats but i saw one i liked in fat face a few months ago for 110 pounds.... thought it might sell out before going into sale.....it went down to 70 a month ago but i thought no i have lots of coats..... then it went down to 60 in sale and luckily they had one in my size so i thought why not treat myself..... i got paid an extra 60 quid this month from overtime so that pays for it thankfully....
ready to go back to work now..... fully rested....think ill spend today making my lego droid and listening to tunes along with spending time on gamcare....... happy new year to all visiting and working at gamcare sending my love xxxxx may you all have a lovely successful new year
Had a lovely last day of holiday today..... had a lie in then went to sainsburys, got a coffee and spent the rest of the day making my lego sets i got for christmas.....
My flat is pretty much complete now...... and in some way my life is somewhat complete too...... im 41 and have succeeded to keep in employment thru the tough part of my life suffering from skitsophrenia i got sacked from a job i loved and one i had sacrificed a lot to do well in..... i then had to move in with my parents again as i was hearing voices from what i thought was the person in the flat underneath..... i had tried to commit suicide...but couldnt do it......then went back to my parents to recover.....there my parents got me to seek medical advice and slowly but surely i got diagnosed and slowly got a job again got medication and started to recover....in this time i started gambling and would spend my free time watching films and playing poker.... then it became a problem......With my parents support i got a job very quickly even tho i was sacked from the previous job.... i was in hindsight very bad at that job as i was still going thru work beleiving in my skitsophrenia thoughts....i then got made redundant from that job and spent 6 months looking for a new job.... found a temporary christmas job and then a job in a local bookshop for six months then that company went into liquidation (i know what ur thinking soo annoying)...... then i got a job within a few months for a big and tall menswear store in Brighton..... worked there for four years in the end and thru that time with the help of my parents bought a flat in my home town..... thru that job was the first time in a while where i was working well and was healthy again.... Then got made redundant again this time the store was doing well but the company was slowly closing down every branch to move solely online..... Then it comes to my current job..... my auntie said there was a job in Supplies, now its fair to say it's not been easy....... gambling thru the early few years brought me to the edge and my work suffered...... i have also had various times off work with voices and episodes..... but they have helped me thru each one, given me time off and adjusted my job accordingly..... i am very thankful for that and i am happy now as a porter working 25 hours a week.....
Now i am very thankful as 12 years on now i am sitting here albeit with mental health issues..... but they are completely under control, i'm sitting in my own flat which in 10 years time should be owed outright, i have a job i enjoy, hours i like, friends and family that have stood by me.....and i am very happy....
If your sitting here at a low point in life wondering when things will change for the better just stick at it.....
All the best Adam xx
Had a lovely last day of holiday today..... had a lie in then went to sainsburys, got a coffee and spent the rest of the day making my lego sets i got for christmas.....
My flat is pretty much complete now...... and in some way my life is somewhat complete too...... im 41 and have succeeded to keep in employment thru the tough part of my life suffering from skitsophrenia i got sacked from a job i loved and one i had sacrificed a lot to do well in..... i then had to move in with my parents again as i was hearing voices from what i thought was the person in the flat underneath..... i had tried to commit suicide...but couldnt do it......then went back to my parents to recover.....there my parents got me to seek medical advice and slowly but surely i got diagnosed and slowly got a job again got medication and started to recover....in this time i started gambling and would spend my free time watching films and playing poker.... then it became a problem......With my parents support i got a job very quickly even tho i was sacked from the previous job.... i was in hindsight very bad at that job as i was still going thru work beleiving in my skitsophrenia thoughts....i then got made redundant from that job and spent 6 months looking for a new job.... found a temporary christmas job and then a job in a local bookshop for six months then that company went into liquidation (i know what ur thinking soo annoying)...... then i got a job within a few months for a big and tall menswear store in Brighton..... worked there for four years in the end and thru that time with the help of my parents bought a flat in my home town..... thru that job was the first time in a while where i was working well and was healthy again.... Then got made redundant again this time the store was doing well but the company was slowly closing down every branch to move solely online..... Then it comes to my current job..... my auntie said there was a job in Supplies, now its fair to say it's not been easy....... gambling thru the early few years brought me to the edge and my work suffered...... i have also had various times off work with voices and episodes..... but they have helped me thru each one, given me time off and adjusted my job accordingly..... i am very thankful for that and i am happy now as a porter working 25 hours a week.....
Now i am very thankful as 12 years on now i am sitting here albeit with mental health issues..... but they are completely under control, i'm sitting in my own flat which in 10 years time should be owed outright, i have a job i enjoy, hours i like, friends and family that have stood by me.....and i am very happy....
If your sitting here at a low point in life wondering when things will change for the better just stick at it.....
All the best Adam xx
Had a lovely last day of holiday today..... had a lie in then went to sainsburys, got a coffee and spent the rest of the day making my lego sets i got for christmas.....
My flat is pretty much complete now...... and in some way my life is somewhat complete too...... im 41 and have succeeded to keep in employment thru the tough part of my life suffering from skitsophrenia i got sacked from a job i loved and one i had sacrificed a lot to do well in..... i then had to move in with my parents again as i was hearing voices from what i thought was the person in the flat underneath..... i had tried to commit suicide...but couldnt do it......then went back to my parents to recover.....there my parents got me to seek medical advice and slowly but surely i got diagnosed and slowly got a job again got medication and started to recover....in this time i started gambling and would spend my free time watching films and playing poker.... then it became a problem......With my parents support i got a job very quickly even tho i was sacked from the previous job.... i was in hindsight very bad at that job as i was still going thru work beleiving in my skitsophrenia thoughts....i then got made redundant from that job and spent 6 months looking for a new job.... found a temporary christmas job and then a job in a local bookshop for six months then that company went into liquidation (i know what ur thinking soo annoying)...... then i got a job within a few months for a big and tall menswear store in Brighton..... worked there for four years in the end and thru that time with the help of my parents bought a flat in my home town..... thru that job was the first time in a while where i was working well and was healthy again.... Then got made redundant again this time the store was doing well but the company was slowly closing down every branch to move solely online..... Then it comes to my current job..... my auntie said there was a job in Supplies, now its fair to say it's not been easy....... gambling thru the early few years brought me to the edge and my work suffered...... i have also had various times off work with voices and episodes..... but they have helped me thru each one, given me time off and adjusted my job accordingly..... i am very thankful for that and i am happy now as a porter working 25 hours a week.....
Now i am very thankful as 12 years on now i am sitting here albeit with mental health issues..... but they are completely under control, i'm sitting in my own flat which in 10 years time should be owned outright, i have a job i enjoy, hours i like, friends and family that have stood by me.....and i am very happy....
If your sitting here at a low point in life wondering when things will change for the better just stick at it.....
All the best Adam xx
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
