After 3 days clean I gave in today and had a £5 bet on the Wimbledon qualifying on a site I hadn't used before. Now I feel awful and above all else a horrible weak person
I told my fiancee it would make me feel better and now I've lost (surprise surprise) I feel even worse than ever.
I need it out of my life. I'm waiting on counselling. I need it out of my life now though.
I just feel so weak and I have ongoing mental health issues on top of this so this makes it even worse.
Why am I such an idiot?
I feel like I let everybody down constantly.
I've now self-excluded from the site and I'm back to square one.
Hello,
Take some comfort from the fact it was only a fiver, and give yourself respect that you were able to nip it in the bud after losing it, and not falling into the trap of spending another £5+ £5,000 trying to win it back so you could stop and not "feel an idiot".
I'm not qualified, but you have identified that you suffer from additional mental health issues, as well as gambling addiction. It's rare that gambling problems exist in isolation - for example I've got an alcohol problem and suffer from massive social anxiety issues, which I've self-medicated through gambling.
Congratulations on getting some councelling. And give yourself a break! You are not "...An idiot...Who lets everybody down", rather you are someone who is trying to be strong and realises they need help.
Best wishes to you, hang on in there.
Molehole
Take comfort from the fact it was only £5. I lost £500 on Saturday and I can tell you I wish it had of been only £5! Stop now and challenge yourself to say on the wagon. It's amazing how quickly you start to feel better!
Treat it as a warning flag. Please don't beat yourself up over such a small amount. Think of how it won't happen again and move forward.
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