For 10 years off and on I played the roulette machines in the bookies.
In early April 11 I self-excluded from all the local shops and at the time it felt great. I decided at the time I would put £20 a week into a savings account with a view to saving back what I had lost - I felt this would put things right. Of course if doesn’t but I will be glad when I hit my target.
Several times I felt fed up that I had excluded as I was itching to play the roulette machine and self-exclusion made it very easy for me as there is no way I would enter a shop I had excluded from - imagine the humiliation of being asked to leave 🙂
A new shop opened up really close to where I worked in June and temptation got the better of me in July. I got myself about £300 up over the course of several visits with the usual chasing and that lucky spin to get me out of jail. I often went with a guy from work who could have a £1 on a dog and walk away no problem. This is probably a good point to mention that despite retail shop after retail shop closing the bookies are still able to expand and open more premises (you do the math's)!
I then travelled up North with my job in August and headed for more action and BANG £300 gone in about an hour, maybe less.
When I self-excluded in April I printed off loads of passport sized pictures and popped some spares in my wallet - the idea being if I got tempted I could self-excluded before playing! After this £300 loss up I immediately went to the counter and it was amusing as the woman asked how much I wanted off my debit card and I said ‘none I wish to self-exclude’ - which I did.
As I had only lost what I had recently made it didn’t hurt me enough so I thought lets have another go when I returned to my usual place of work. Into the new bookies I went again and blew about £400 so out came the photos and on 24 August I self-excluded from the new one.
I had to tell my work colleague I had self-excluded or 'banned myself' as I put it and just thought ‘f*** it’ and said ‘I have banned myself as I have no self-control I am afraid’. He laughed so I just said ‘I agree, its daft, but I am afraid I am not able to walk away and get greedy when I win - -so will not be going in again'.
Since originally self-excluding on 2 April 11 I have kept the £20 a week savings going and now have £600 saved so am 10% of where I want to get.
Although I have had a couple of slips since April life is so much better so I would urge anyone who is finding gambling makes them unhappy, or causes concern to consider self-excluding - also keep some photo’s handy so you can self-exclude if tempted when new shops open or you are likely to be somewhere with assessable bookies . I have not been back since 24 August.
Because I had not lost loads over 10 years (average £50 a month) I would not admit I had a problem but I did - surely anything you do that you don’t have to which causes sadness is a problem.
We all know these FOBT’s are a mugs game - no they are not fixed but I can assure you that they are not totally random. When you hit the button the server send a sequence of numbers down the line and the machine picks which one it chooses - and as I have posted before the people behind the desk can tell you if it’s a win or lose long before the game has finished and the imaginary ball has landed.
I knew I had a problem and needed to take drastic action. If it helps please answer the following questions honestly:-
1. If you are losing do you keep going to at least try and get even - however small the amount?
2. If you win and the balance on the screen starts reducing do you need to get back to where it was at its highest point before you are satisfied?
3. Do you tot up your winnings when you go on a winning run and feel like a millionaire even though its next to nothing in the scheme of things?
4. If you win are you itching to go back and try and win more asap?
5. Do you promise yourself you will not use your bank card but end up using it?
6. Do you justify your loses with things such as ‘I don’t smoke’ and things like that?
7. Do you ever even think its only money and I am not on the earth forever so it does not really matter
8. Are you bemused by those who can just put a little money in and walk away?
9. After a loss do you think of all the things you could have bought with that money?
10. After a loss do you vow to give up for good but after about 3 weeks the pain diminishes and you start again - promising to be controlled - only for the same outcome of a big loss?
If the answers are mostly yes - you have a problem - trust me you have a problem - so just admit it to yourself and do all you can to put up as many barriers to gambling as you can!!
There is nothing wrong with admitting you can’t gamble due to a lack of will-power and self-control! In fact it’s a hell of a lot bolder to admit the truth.
Every once in a while you read a post that truly embodies and gets right to the heart of addictive behaviour , this is one such post.
I have been that person, I really hope others take heed,
Well done Dave
well said evil machines done about 80,000 in 10 years and still battle with it monday - Friday work days madness
living in the dreamworld that the big win round the corner is mental !!!!!!
wow i can so relate to this Dave. I am that person and i have a problem and I know it. I just cant seem to beat it. Every month i vow to give up and never achieve it. back to square one, lying to myself and to others etc.
Can you please give me any tips, guidance on what made you succeed in giving up please.
I just want to know what worked for you please
thanks
C
Hi Dave
Good to hear from you again but obviously not in the sense that you've had a couple of slips since your self-exclusions which brings you back on here.
As I've said in the past in your recovery diary I really don't think you've a problem with gambling. You don't borrow to gamble, and, in the great scheme of things your losses are small, which I think reflects your cautious approach to life generally.
Can't totally agree that we have a problem if it causes us sadness as taking that to a conclusion would mean that our beloved football teams would suddenly be bereft of all their support ( especially my team who are on a real roller-coaster having been promoted to the Premier League last season...lol )
I remember it took you a long while to finally self-exclude yourself from you local bookies and it's weird how the urges somehow manage to persuade us to find ways to bet anyway. There's so many bookies we see on our travels that it's impossible to exclude ourselves totally. It's a pity there isn't some sort of workable national database to enable us to exclude from every bookie in one fell swoop. To be honest I think the bookies themselves wouldn't have too many objections to that as i believe very few people indeed do exclude.
I like your ten questions. If I'm honest I can answer ' yes ' to at least half of them but I'll never use a debit card as it leaves a paper trail and an unhelpful footprint on your bank CV. ( You never know when you might need a loan for purposes other than gambling ). I can take a ' profit ' even if it's less than I did have but I, like you, am hopeless at setting a deposit limit and consequently sometimes lose hundreds in one session.
I agree with you that FOBT'as are not ' fixed ' - in the accepted sense - but they certainly don't seem to pay out as much as much as they did in the early days. Is payout percentage ' tweaking ' a different word for fixed ? ( lol )
My losses on FOBT's far exceed yours I'm sorry to say but I still feel that I'm not on too much of a slippery slope. Perhaps you and I have a ' stop loss ' trigger built into our make-up which prevents a real horror story from happening ?
I must admit that life without gambling is more fulfilling. It's quite a pleasant feeling thinking everything's so ' cheap ' when you use money to buy things rather than shovel the same amount into a machine in five minutes flat !!
Good luck with your £20 plan.
Best wishes
Blackjack
Great post.
Just wanted to reflect on this.
"Perhaps you and I have a ' stop loss ' trigger built into our make-up which prevents a real horror story from happening ?"
I too can relate to this. I gamble I'm afraid. I packed it in for a month or so, but the last two weeks i have had no self control. I chase a loss but not to the point where as you say, a real horror story happens".
I know I am a compulsive gambler. I know I have a problem. Sometimes I read threads on here where people gamble away all their wages at the beginning of the month. That's not me, but in a way, I wish it was. It might make it easier for me to stop.
I'm finding it hard at the moment. My gambling is out of control. If I win I withdraw my stake and play with the rest until it's gone or accumilates to a sizeable amount to withdraw.
One of my first questions I asked when I joined this forum was whether it was possible to quit off the back of a win.
I personally don't think it is.
I was directed here by Kaza and yes this is a great post and I can identify with most of what you are saying. Keep it going matey. Take care
"Perhaps you and I have a ' stop loss ' trigger built into our make-up which prevents a real horror story from happening ?"
I feel like I was much the same way (I say was only in the sense of last week!) - I could never truly put myself in 'the hospital' through gambling. That said, there were more than a few times when the only reason I didn't spend more was only because of my inability to lay my hands on anymore of my money at that time. That to me is proof that statistics or a bad swing will get you in the end. It won't happen overnight- one loss won't kill you, but over a period of time those little 'sustainable' (I really disike writing this but can't find another word to express what I mean) losses will put you in trouble.
I can recognise now that I kept breaching my so called stop losses. First it was a case of not spending savings, then not using a card over the counter to finally not drawing money out on a credit card. In turn, each of these lines in the sand was broken. If you can't keep a promise to yourself, then you have to ask yourself what you are all about.
Just my two pence- don't mean to come across as a zealot but your talk of stop losses resonates with me.
Good luck to all- stay strong.
Hi
Thank you for all the responses to my post. It is nice when people add their thoughts and although I do not post seeking compliments - we all like them 🙂
Kaza - thank you. I have a fairly simple approach to life in general. Some people can gamble sensibly and others can’t - I can’t and wish I could so have to put as many barriers in the way as possible. It’s a poor effort that I do not have more willpower and have to self-exclude but that’s what self-exclusion is there for.
Hammer - you realise FOBT’s are a waste of time and that you have no hope of beating them. That big win is not around any corner and even if it was and you struck lucky you will give it all back plus more! We never stop after a win.
The C Man -you are exactly the same as me in that you want to stop and possibly do for a while but drift back. I tried everything and the only thing that works is self-exclusion as once you sign the form you simply cannot go back in again until the exclusion period has expired. You do still get tempted but can’t go in. I would recommend you do this. Let us know how it goes.
Blackjack - it’s good to hear from you to. I am not really back because of the slips as they were a couple of months ago - I just fancied posting and spreading the word on how effective self-exclusion is.
You know me well - I am Mr Cautious and also Mr Thrifty and hate losing money so when I do I probably go OTT with sulking over the loss. You are also right that I am controlled as I would never lose all I had - but have to throw in the caveat that most gamblers who lose everything probably started controlled and saying they would never lose everything - only to end up doing just that.
See you point regarding the football - I think about my team on and off all day and when they lose or drop points I get very P****d off but there are no lasting effects - losing money gambling can have knock on consequences to those we care for as it reduces the ability to pay for other more important things and is deceptive.
Nationwide self-exclusion would be great but like you I can’t see it. Self-exclusion does little to control the urges but is a remedy for the urges as you can’t go in. Yes you can go to others but its an effort and a deterrent.
Really is good you are still posting and I agree - you are well under control and need to keep it that way.
Brad007 - The good thing is you know you are out of control and I have a feeling you will end up self-excluding to. As I mentioned if we lose we chase and if we win we return for more and the more you play the bigger chance of losing. Nobody stops after a win - why on earth would you! If playing is making you anxious try and give up or self-exclude.
Smiler - thank you. All the best to you to.
Renaissance - we all start with small losses and without realising the tolerance levels go up. I used to fret over a £10 loss but now would accept £100. The same can be said for source of the money we use - we start with just cash and walk away, then start using a card etc etc. If we can’t control it then best to stay off and admit it.
I totally agree with you - it gets you in the end ! Always!
Best wishes
Dave
Had to bump this i have already bookedmarked this page, but i am getting urges as i recently trippled my money but it werent enough to deal with my financial problems, but anyone else needing inspiration to stay off these evil machines, should read this.
Its hard for me to forget the financial loss but i keep forgetting the time away from friends family and life in general that goes along with excessive use of these machines, whether winning or loosing.
Good luck people!
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