For people with slot machine addiction...

I know. It's a really frightening world to have entered into, gambling and slot play. Like waking up within an actual real life night mare. I know also that staying stopped with odaat is the only way. Like, when we or I think of starting to gamble whether it's online or to drive there, we have not yet started. It's first just an impulse. So we have a chance in the moment to stay away from it and it involves some pain because it is an addiction. I have felt so much pain around making a better choice because those slots are like a strong drug that I need... like cocain. But we can go on from this point. Ending it all is a feeling I also had many times although I'd never do it. The only thing we can end is our choice to play. I wanted to go this a.m. WHY? There is no reason other than that I am addicted and I need help. I come here to stay strong. No other additions take so much from us as gambling. We have to have compassion for ourselves and otheres. It's a rough ride. Yes, it has to end and no time will ever seem perfect. We always want more. But that is the addiction speaking. Hot lines are a good start to get to talk to a real person and receive ideas about how to keep ourselves safe and get more resources for help. Big hugs to all of you slot players. Behind all the colors and themes and excitement of those machines is just ... well, a machine that takes money. All the colors and themes, sounds and excitement are there like smoke and mirrors to turn us into the addicts that we are. Slots are designed to keep people engaged and play 'to extinction'. That is what the machine designers call it. Playing till extinction! That means playing until your wallet is empty. It's a design, a plan. We are a victim to it and it's sad. We can only save ourselves by stopping and staying stopped odaat with resources.. I am so happy to be here on my 22nd day free of gambling. I am so sorry for everyoes losses and hardships. It can only get better from here. Sometimes it feels like it's getting worse but it will get better. hope to all today. T2

I wanted to post in this thread today because I played slots for 10 years and I did it in casinos. Telling myself that I can not play slots makes me feel like a bad child being punished sometimes ... and I want to jump out my bedroom window (so to speak) and go outside and play. Why is there a pull toward the things we are separating ourselves from and a resistance to the new better choices. over time we reprogram ourselves. Playing those machines I felt machinelike. I have been dreaming of livng in the country and getting intouch with nature. For me relating to nature and really being OUTSIDE instead of inside the casino engaged with a machine and becoming machinelike, yes, relating to nature makes me more natural... naturally human... soft and more full of life and health. I pray for a life living close to nature and free from as much machine influence as possible and that is with slots at the top of my list. T2

How are you doing Tara? Xx

okay Star. I have a topic called I'm 53 and played slots for 10 years...etc. I have been posting mostly in that post about what is going on with me. I did slip up. I'm picking myself up and going deeper.

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The last time I gambled I was detected by security when I took out a cash advance. I say I was detected becasue I had been playing slots at a casino that I had banned myself at. I banned myself and then a year or more later I returned and had been playing there for around two years... binge gambling and then worse in the end. Anyway, the last time I gambled I was taking out a cash advance and feeling very upset that I was still feeding the addiction, again. My gambling had escalated. I took out too many cash advances and somehow they were watching and caught up with me. They were waiting. I knew something was wrong when the cashier asked me to wait while she went to the back to check on something. She returned to issue the news and a security officer then came to talk to me. He offered to have me sign some forms to recind my self exclusion then it would take a few weeks to go through. He said that I was not allowed to play the slot machines. I heard him... I am not allowed to play the slot machines. hmmmm I am not allowed to play the slot machines. That is right. I decided to leave and keep the self exclusion and I want that exclusion because I am not allowing myself to play slot machines. tara2

So in the end of the day you won a victory and left. Remember you are the only football player on the field. You can run left or run right. No one will stop you. You, will stop you. Keep up the good work 🙂