Hi Everyone me again! I haven’t gambled for 2 years now! But I have turned to my partner and giving her advice about slots and what to gamble on I feel as if this is taking me down a rocky road and wanting to gamble myself. I can’t enter any bookmakers I’m band as I have done gam stop I also am band from online and arcade slots. I haven’t gambled in over 2 years I’m proud. But it’s giving me thoughts of wanting to! Has anyone else went through this problem or am I the only one.
Hi, yep it's a rocky road, and thankfully you have recognised the dangers.
Does your partner know about your gambling, and how would they feel if you returned to it, with all the damage it caused. Support each other and both avoid it., maybe a chat with the help line would be beneficial. Just my opinion
Hi thank you for replying yes my partner does know my addiction she’s been very supportive but when I do ask her to gamble she would do it just to please me. I haven’t gambled myself in 2 years so what I’m doing now is a rocky road for me and I agree I need to stay clear
@jadelouise96 You have asked this question now three times in the last four months. You were upset that someone gambling on you behalf was going to cause you to lose your gambling free time, and you were assured that it was just a blip and that you haven't actually gambled, although you are gambling by proxy. Getting someone else to do it while you watch is just as bad as you doing it. You are still getting the buzz out of it, and if anything you are making your partner start having a problem.
I don't know what you want to hear, but if this carries on it will not end well. There's a saying that if you sit in a barber shop long enough, eventually you'll get a haircut.
You need to make the decision that you don't go and watch your partner gamble, or that your partner doesn't gamble. You might like it sugar-coated but this addiction is too serious to do that I'm afraid.
It's time to stop this bad habit.
I've previously advised you to find a GA room to get additional help, I hope you can get it.
Chris.
Hi Chris I 100% agree with you this isn’t healthy what I’m doing nor is it for my partner only way I can do this is for her not to give in and totally blank me if I do ask to watch! Thank you for the advice and your time I hope you are well.
@jadelouise96 I don’t know if she reads this but as you know, as a compulsive gambler you can be very persuasive. She needs to know that when you ask her she has to say no whatever your threat.
But this isn’t a long term solution. You need to start being responsible for your own actions. Again, if I use my own experience as the example, I have found GA as the best place to go to get my weekly dose of help. Can you find a meeting to help you and your partner?
Chris.
Hi Chris I did have 1 to 1 phone call that has ended now the calls were to help me stop asking my partner to gamble the calls was less than 4 weeks as it was classed as not me gambling but asking someone else. I have been back in touch with gam care and they told me to get back in touch for another referral if it keeps happing
Hi Jade,
Your posts are confusing.
You describe giving your partner advice on slots, does he/she listen or give your advice any serious thought given where you've ended up. I'm trying to imagine my wife in a bookmakers or online gambling & me saying " Back This Horse It'll Win" then claiming to have not gambled for X amount of time. Chris hit the nail right on the head when he described it as Gambling By Proxy,
I mean no disrespect & please don't take offence but your idea of recovery is a rather distorted one to say the least. Chris.UK is right, you need to get to a GA meeting ( with an open mind ) & learn about true recovery. I also agree with him when he tells you this will not end well.
Have A Lovely Xmas
Best Wishes For The Future
AL
@slowlearner on my first attempt to stop, I gave my eldest money and told him what numbers to push on the roulette while I watched through the window. I honestly thought that I had stopped. If you fund gambling, or advise others what button to push, it's still part of the illness. 2 years shouldn't be tossed aside, but it is a blurred line
I agree it’s not healthy I always wish back years ago I didn’t enter a betting shop or play on them machines but what’s done is done. I don’t know what got I into my head to let my partner go into there and let her do it. I have spoken to gam care team they advised even though I haven’t gambled myself it’s dangerous that I’m watching and advising my partner also it’s not my money so I shouldn’t be having my partner gambling her money. Best wishes to you and have a great time
jade
I agree it’s not healthy I always wish back years ago I didn’t enter a betting shop or play on them machines but what’s done is done. I don’t know what got I into my head to let my partner go into there and let her do it. I have spoken to gam care team they advised even though I haven’t gambled myself it’s dangerous that I’m watching and advising my partner also it’s not my money so I shouldn’t be having my partner gambling her money. Best wishes to you and have a great time
jade
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