Hi everyone, I've written in my intro about my problems with gambling already and that I managed to self exclude myself once before geting back on the wagon. The good news is that after some humbling losses, I've finally excluded myself once more and now on the process of recovery.
One of the key motivations for my gambling has always been my inabilty to let go over past losses, not just in gambling but in life in general. I fell for the trap of believing that gambling could offer me a chance to win back all my losses, that it was just one big game with the payout of redemption once I recovered everything. Of course the reality is the complete opposite and you just end up digging an even bigger hole for yourself each time.
I'm still in the early period of realisation that enough is enough and called it quits with my local casino, but I am dreading that feeling of when reality hits as the chase is over and you must admit defeat. The thought of all that money wasted is something that I really can't or struggle to come to terms with and has always been the main driver for my gambling.
My question for all the forum members that have found success in their recovery, how do you get over all those losses? Do you have a technique or a mantra that you subscribe by to move on because I am someone who finds making mistakes and accepting loss something difficult to deal with.
Thanks in advance and hoping for everyone a long and lasting recovery.
Buy yourself a book called Allen Carr - Easyway to stop Gambling.
The best £5 or so I ever spent. Helped me massively.
I am 328 days GF. I still can get over my losses. The only way i think i will get over my losses is to get my money back but this time not through gambling.
I lost 18.5k over 3.5 years of gambling episode. So being me I find it hard to accept my losses i getting my money back through overtime, second job and cutting my spendng or wise spending which i would not have done if i wasnot in this situation.
I hope this makes sense. Please bear in mind this will works over long term commitment.
One way of rationalising losses is to firstly realise there's no point trying to win them back. This is for two reasons. One, the odds will be against us, as before, and two, because we are problem gamblers, we always lose what we might win, and then lose more. So there's no point.
Then, there's the realisation that we cannot change the past. But we can change today, and influence the future. What's happened has happened. We start from here, we start from now. We're alive and live to fight another day. Just being here, having our 'moment in the sun', spinning around for our short time here on Planet Earth, is life-affirming enough.
There are two types of luck. One type, we can't do much about. If lightning strikes us, or we get hit by a runaway truck - not too much we can do about that. But the other type of luck we can create; it's luck we can control. For example, if we stop gambling, we can start to pay off our debts, stop wasting time and money, be more fulfilled and - importantly - be more fullfiling to others. We're creating better luck.
The losses of the past are gone. We learn from the experience. We look back, for sure, but don't dwell or start moping. What's the point? Let's look towards today and tomorrow. Let's look ahead and up, rather than back and down.
Let's welcome, and celebrate, the opportunity we have to live a better life - from now!
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