How do you recompose your life after a relapse?

Your only 22 you have plenty of time to sort this. Its good you released you had a problem young and your on a debt management plan. There's lots of help and support have you rang gamcare for treatment ? I'm assuming you have gambling blocks. 

Your young you shouldn't have a life sorted at 22. There's some people on here that won't mind me saying its took them years and years to become gamble free its never to late.

Why is your life finished ? Might feel like that but you have time on your hands to turn this round may not feel it be 22 is so young. Nothing shameful with living with your parents at that age. At least you didn't have a mortgage and family dependant on you etc. You can make a better future now you just need help if your struggling ring gamcare and your gp for treatment 

Lou x

Thanks for the words. It just feels like I have ruined everything. I’ve obviously lost tens of thousands in money earned & loans and stuff over the years, but this relapse hit me so mych harder. Just as I started to save a couple hundred quid, looking forward to future, back on track with payments.. I blew it all again. It’s my own fault but it hurts. A lot

I know it's a normal feeling after a relapse I've been where you are it's devastating and it hurts. However I can tell you it will make you stronger eventually. I relapsed too but you have to get back on track with payments strengthen your blocks.. and as time goes on it will get easier, use this relapse as a reminder if you get an urge to gamble again of the devastation it causes. Don't beat yourself up too much I know it hurts but there is a way to get back to where you was and further 

Lou x 

As a young person similar, I've tried a lot of stuff and you are not alone, relapsing is common because boredom causes it but.. pull yourself back right when you are about to gamble, tell yourself chasing the loses only leads to more loses. Your brain is wired to gambling and some of it will always stay even if you try to entangle it. The trick is to spend your time doing other stuff that gives a similar feeling in my opinion. I'm about to hit my put money on a gym membership instead. Also, i would start to put that money in a course that you find interesting and learn something new. Its time to burst that gambling bubble and open your eyes to new hobbies and interests.

Hope this helps

You probably arent going to like this answer as not many gambling addicts do but the long and short of it is

Hard relentless work 

i was in 15K debt at 23 mainly through gambling and other poor life choices it took me 5 years of repayments , hustling and wangling to get myself back in the positive 

i was fortunate i had a very good girlfriend for 4 of them 5 years to help me sort the mess out and keep me on the right track

There is plenty of people out there in the same position as you at 32,42 heck we even see some 52 and 62 on this forum complaining they've wasted half a lifetime gambling 

Its a very bad vice i think maybe one of the worst because it drains your time and your finances 

everything in moderation but gambling is one of them things that can rarely be done in moderation 

anyway at 22 you have a very good opportunity to sort your life out before 30 and still become a success i have done it.

Hi Decisions.

You need to tell people close, abstain with strong blocks and start learning about this as a drug addiction.

You must heal your addicted mindset and start appreciating the simple pleasures in life. You have some "wax on wax off" learning to do to appreciate basic discipline in life. That will actually set you free. Youve got one life and one body...don't let this world distract and disorient you

Gambling is not a top up scheme or a lifestyle choice. Its a mugs game and a vice! If you sort this now you can count yourself VERY fortunate that you are not fifty years old with the same problem.

look around you! What are you expecting from life at 22 years of age? You have to count your blessings...many people are homeless today and life can throw up all sorts of problems.

What does anybody have?...does it really matter?...You need to open your mind. Yes life isn't fair ...get used to it....gambling is not the answer.

Some people don't even have good health and would give everything they own for some good health. You are not looking at things with a clear mind yet

It may sound twee to an addicted mind but life can be wonderful when you just appreciate what you can see and experience in daily life

Gambling acts like a drug addiction...what are you trying to escape from? depression anxiety?

The fancy goods you see on television and in magazines are not just there for the taking. Unless happy within yourself, stuff would not do anything for you anyway.

Help people.... get out there...train for something because a career you can build on is so important for your dignity and self respect

The answers are actually within you. Life is not a cakewalk for most of us and part of the problem is that we are not spiritually educated to love ourselves and see the reality. It can seem like a giant rat race and it twists minds...why has he got that and I haven't for example

Imagine no possessions would be a spiritual aim as in the famous song but I understand how hard that seems when we are so conditioned to be good little shoppers. You don't need most of it anyway

Talk to your parents..what are your relationships like...tell people talk to them...friends and relationships are the most important thing

You can stop but it takes a proper recovery. The recovery is not that hard when you see the light and seek help

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Amazing post - took a lot from that. Thanks.

Hi Decisions, 

You're still young and there is still a bright future ahead of you. 

As someone who has been on the recovery journey for quite awhile now and who has had some success, I want you to know that the key to beating gambling is having in place effective barriers between you and gambling, so that even when you get an irresistible urge to gamble, the barriers are there to stop you from acting on your urge. Importantly, never rely on willpower alone. It will just lead to relapse after relapse.

Speaking of barriers, if you gamble online, I highly encourage you to contact all the services that enable you to deposit money into online casinos and request that they permanently ban you from their services. This is a super effective barrier to put in place to prevent future relapses. Online casinos are infinite, but the deposit enablers are just a handful. Doing this has really helped me (I’m now 2 years gamble-free).

Email template you can use:

Subject heading: Request for permanent account ban.

Hi there,

Please immediately and permanently ban me from using your services. I have been using your services in ways that are not good for my wellbeing. I would like that to stop and having my account permanently banned is an essential step. Thank you for taking my well-being seriously and doing as I have requested.

My information is as follows: [insert the relevant info such as account name or the email you have associated with them or, in the case of ****, the email you use to make **** transfers]

Sincerely,

[Insert your name]

Other effective barriers include:

1. Self-exclusion from land-based casinos.
2. Having an accountability partner whose opinion of you you care about. You don’t want to disappoint them, and this acts as an emotional barrier to gambling.
3. Softwares like Gamban, Coldturkey, Betblocker, ScreenTime on iphone (get someone else to set up a password so you can’t alter the settings once they’re set)
4. If need be, have a loved one manage your finances for you.

The more barriers, the better. Good luck my friend. You got this.

Posted by: Joydivider

Hi Decisions.

You need to tell people close, abstain with strong blocks and start learning about this as a drug addiction.

You must heal your addicted mindset and start appreciating the simple pleasures in life. You have some "wax on wax off" learning to do to appreciate basic discipline in life. That will actually set you free. Youve got one life and one body...don't let this world distract and disorient you

Gambling is not a top up scheme or a lifestyle choice. Its a mugs game and a vice! If you sort this now you can count yourself VERY fortunate that you are not fifty years old with the same problem.

look around you! What are you expecting from life at 22 years of age? You have to count your blessings...many people are homeless today and life can throw up all sorts of problems.

What does anybody have?...does it really matter?...You need to open your mind. Yes life isn't fair ...get used to it....gambling is not the answer.

Some people don't even have good health and would give everything they own for some good health. You are not looking at things with a clear mind yet

It may sound twee to an addicted mind but life can be wonderful when you just appreciate what you can see and experience in daily life

Gambling acts like a drug addiction...what are you trying to escape from? depression anxiety?

The fancy goods you see on television and in magazines are not just there for the taking. Unless happy within yourself, stuff would not do anything for you anyway.

Help people.... get out there...train for something because a career you can build on is so important for your dignity and self respect

The answers are actually within you. Life is not a cakewalk for most of us and part of the problem is that we are not spiritually educated to love ourselves and see the reality. It can seem like a giant rat race and it twists minds...why has he got that and I haven't for example

Imagine no possessions would be a spiritual aim as in the famous song but I understand how hard that seems when we are so conditioned to be good little shoppers. You don't need most of it anyway

Talk to your parents..what are your relationships like...tell people talk to them...friends and relationships are the most important thing

You can stop but it takes a proper recovery. The recovery is not that hard when you see the light and seek help

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

 

What a post JD - brought tears to my eyes. This is the truth!

Hi @decisions, 

Welcome to the GamCare Forum.

 You have made a really positive step  by posting your story, and have had some fantastic responses from the community.

Please feel free to contact the GamCare Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or Netline to explore the additional support available to you. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week if you would like to talk to one of the GamCare HelpLine advisers.

Keep sharing. 

Helen 

Forum Admin

Some very good advice on here it may not seem but you are in a fortunate position as you are young and have best days still to come but only you can do it and I'm sure you will it won6be and there are no quick fixes take your lonesome the chin and move on with a  positive mindset good luck