I hate myself today so much. I've gone backwards as had been gamble free for almost a year. Now I'm back to (literally) tearing my hair out, crying, talking to myself. I actually feel possessed. I can't go on like this anymore, I hate what this turns me into.
Even as I write this I know I'm waiting to get paid so I can gamble again. I have no money left for the month and have plans with family and friends I'll need to cancel and make excuses as to why I can't.
This is destroying my life I don't know what to do.
Hi Lizzie It's soul destroying when you've been gf for a period of time. The best thing to do is stop access to money. Download blocking software k9, gamban. Tell someone close to you, ask them to look after finances. Anything to make you accountable. Stopping gambling alone is very difficult. Call gamcare, go to a GA meeting. Go back to 'just for today'.
I know the feeling. You know in your head you do not have to gamble when you get paid. Plans with family and friends will be better than losing all your money gambling.
Hi Lizzy,
You sound very low at the moment.
Relapsing can be a tough experience. You managed to stay stopped for a year and that is a great achievement! You can continue from there as you would have already learned a lot about recovery. You do not need to start back at square one, even though it may feel like it.
How about talking it through with an adviser on the Helpline on 0808 80 20 133 or on the Netline http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/netline ?
Both services are open from 8 am to midnight every day and you will find that you are listened to and not judged. Maybe a conversation can help you decide which next steps to take.
You are still Lizzy and you can do this!
All the very best
Gabriele
Hey Lizzy, I wish you lots of soul soothing today. You can do this! The difficulty will pass. Treat yourself as good as possible and stay on the path. tara2
Thank you all.
Stay strong lizzy.
I feel for you lizzy. I have been in this situation every month for 4 years. I’m am in huge debt but I am now in touch with step change debt charity who are lovely helpful people, and I am devising a plan with them. They can help you in so many ways to make your debts more affordable, even if it is over a longer period of time.
The main thing is to tackle the gambling. When I was in 5k debt I thought I could gamble my way out of it, and it’s landed me in 21k debt. As compulsive gamblers we will never pay off debts and leave it at that. Even if you managed to win enough to clear all of your debts, you would not stop gambling as you have an addiction.
You managed a year gamble free which is totally amazing and I absolutely admire you for that. You can start a fresh again now. Put the loss behind you, contact a debt charity, seek more counselling, remember you are a strong person and you’ve achieved success before. Don’t give up you can get there again. Hold onto that feeling of having money in the bank and no guilt when you were gamble free x
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