Hi all first time using Gamcare. Signed up with Gamstop tonight too. I have been trying to quit gambling for over 3 weeks now. I did some soul searching and deep reflection. I got to the root cause of why I was self saboutaging and gambling. I was so focussed for 4 or 5 days then I just went on a downward spiral and fell back in to the habit of gambling.
I work in the gambling industry so I am surrounded by it day in day out, I have responsible gambling conversations on the daily. Yet, I am here, writing this having the inability to control my own gambling. It is online gambling it is just so easy to find a new site.Â
Even when I was winning and saying to myself I will cash out, it never happened. The thing consumes my mind. I play hours aimlessly just living in the loop to loop of slot machines, I don't even enjoy them. Yet I am consumed by them. I feel numb when I am gambling, I don't get a rush, I don't get any sort of emotion from it. Even when I lose I don't feel anger, mad or disappointment.Â
I have an issue, I know I do, I have burned through my savings in quick fashion. I have nothing to show for the money. Lesson learned maybe.Â
I am being soft on myself with this process, as I am not my relapse, I am the person that signed up for gamcare today. I am still reaching out and the person who wants something better- even if it feels a million miles away at the moment.
Day 1 ... lets get the 24 little hours out of the way. If you read this and you're struggling... you've got this.
Great job signing up with GAMSTOP.
Gambling is a evil and I am too stopping gambling put all the blocks in place and don't want to hear about it.Â
Gambling caused me so much stress and anxiety in recent last 5 years that it's unbelievable. I hate it
Hey Char
Want to thank you for such an open and honest post. You certainly are not alone!
your post really hit home with me as I have had so many ‘chats’ with a rep online about safer gambling. Usually smack bang in the middle of a 20hr + gambling binge, my account will be restricted. Then I have to go on chat and ‘pretend’ that I’m ok so they unrestricted my account. I always think that they are really condescending people that are looking down at me. I imagine ‘these’ people could not begin to understand what I’m going through but your post today shows me that we are all human and suffer the same pitfalls.
i don’t feel that I am the right person to advise as I’m only a week into my journey myself but I want you to know that you’re not alone in your fight for a normal fun loving GF life and that there is loads of support on here. Stay close to your diary and it helped me to video record a message to my future self. My recording was full of tears and was raw and painful but I play it anytime I feel like gambling at it really helps.Â
stay strong Char… we got this!
Em x
@wbr9jcpn3y Hey Johnny thank you for the kind words.Â
I hope you have a smooth recovery from this what you have described as evil.Â
It is a hard struggle, just need to keep our minds in the right state. Good luck 🙂 also hate gambling and not yourself. Be kind to yourself - sometimes we are the only people who are.
@837aobfmvuÂ
Hey Em, thank you for reaching out and letting me know that I am not alone.
From my point of view it is much easier to have a responsible gambling conversation in person and believe me we don't judge not at all. We are trained to see the signs early on and alert people to them and sometimes have really blunt chats with people. There is never any judgement from our part (at least not where I work) it is more of a concern.Â
20 hours would raise concern as you know, and you said yourself you pretend to be fine. I think being brutally honest with yourself definitely helps. I have done the message to my future self etc. and like you it was full of tears, but it was more to do with what was behind the cause of me gambling. I was using it as an escapism.Â
Im 24 hours gamble free, cooked for myself, read a few chapters in a book. Brain dumped on a page (not a to-do list, just what I want to achieve in the next week. Nothing major just more walking etc.)Â
Good luck in your journey of being gamble free.Â
Char x
@fl2ev9pdzq  Hey Char!
You sound absolutely lovely and I cannot imagine you judging anyone. I expect my feelings were coming from my own paranoid brain. Silly really.
Good on you for doing your own recorded message. I imagine everyone’s will be different, we are all isolated cases (in what causes us to start gambling) but we definitely share sinikar aftermaths.
i think i realised that my compulsive gambling brain just forgets the devastation after a day or two. All I remember/ think about is the good feeling I get for a few hours, and the few wins I’ve had (which I always go on to lose). By doing the video it gives me that very visual reminder of the BAD just before I’m about to indulge in more self harm.
i hope it works for you too and best of luck on your journey. We go this!💪
Em x
Recovery whilst working in the industry will be nigh on impossible
If you want to take it seriously quit and find a new jobÂ
And I can assure you "being soft on yourself" is not the way to handle a gambling addictionÂ
You need to come down hard and you need to come down fast and that goes for everyoneÂ
I Gambled for most of my 20's and it destroyed a good 3-4 years of them , I finally quit around age 28 when I accepted I was out of control , I was making these terrible decisions and I was the one feeding the greed and the compulsionÂ
It was only really when I accepted it was a completely pointless activity did I set off on the right mindset and even then there was hiccupsÂ
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