Its been 6 years...

Back after 6 years.

I gambled some this year, and all the shame and guilt I felt 6 years ago came back. I actually forgot about it really.

Although its not too much what I lost this year during 1 month of gambling, I feel sick about it.

2017 I completely lost it, and lost my savings during very depressive episode. Thats how it actually started for me. I used to enjoy a bet here and there but change money. Never considered myself a gambler and ai never was. I always respected money and was smart with money. The depression and loneliness got me into it and for few months lost my savings. Its so hard to even think about it. Mainly is that I am smarter than that.. How can I fall for this? Its a shame. But I blame it on the depression and maybe the meds I was on for depression. Got addicted to the ones that were tranquilizers, was hard to kick them but its been a long time gamble free, meds free. This year I feel like I have been very slowly going down mentally, always feeling guilty, always thinking I should have done better, I am not a good person etc. So that attributed to me being back on gambling. I know I will not go back to gambling like I used to 6 years ago because I am different, my mindset is different. However guilt, shame, self loathing is worst part. Moneywise i am fine, I am married now, we have a child and income is not bad, savings are good for our age as well. 

Just wanted to share 

Here I am this is new profile, I lost track of the old one.

Wish you all the best, we must not give up