Bdog - welcome aboard. You CAN be a Guru; you've had a good run, as you say, but this time you really need to go for it. Up for it? Then welcome to our group!
*** JUST A THOUGHT ***
It's interesting,isn't it, that many of us, when starting our gambling free journeys, initially consider a life outside gambling 'boring'. And there is a reason for that that I'll come too..
But first of all, let's take a different angle. When we gamble, we might think it's not boring, but WE, as gamblers, most certainly are!
Gambling is a solo activity, in which we either stare at flashing inanimate objects like computer or slot machines, wasting money and becoming morose, miserable and not great company, to say the least. We might think we are enjoying this life, but are we? We're the boring ones!
And consider this. It doesn't take us that long to lose money we probably can't afford, and the enjoyment factor, if that's what you call it, is very quick in terms of time. So any 'excitement' is very short lived.
It comes down to this. Would you rather spend the rest of the week or month skint and bored, or be 'bored' with money in your pocket?
Believe me, and most of us know this, being skint is not fun and those skint days can pass very slowly ... that's deadly dull.
If you have money jangling in your pocket, then you have ... options! You can live better, eat better, share with friends and loved ones ... a world of opportunities open up.
Sometimes, though, as addicted gamblers we are still bored, but that's because our gambling has prevented us to see and appreciate what real life is all about.
When you start to open those dusty old curtains and peer through the sunlight behind, you start to see, almost magically, but certainly instinctively, a world of possibilities.
That £20 you spent with a click of a mouse or a scribbled betting slip... that can buy so much. £100, that's a bloody good day out. £500? You're on a memorable break with your loved ones. There are so many possibilities.
Watch out for my next 'Just a thought' where I'm going to look into what we can enjoy for £20, as recovering gamblers, with this seemingly small sum in your pockets.
Let's look at the possibilities and enjoy real life for what it is - infinitely better than the miserable alternative!
Meantime, does anyone have ideas to spend £20? (Please, keep it clean 🙂 )
All the best
Mixer
Great post.....boredom was a big reason for my gambling and trying to find other things to do has been hard,but now would rather be bored and not be adding to my money worries that bored and getting myself into even more debt............ looking forward to seeing some good ideas on how to spend that £20
Loving this gamble free life , no worrying about money all the time.
I dozed off earlier and dreamt I was a log ! Just woke up in the fireplace .
When I was a lad you could go out wi 20 quid and paint the town red , have a nosh up , get well oiled , go to pictures wiv the girlfriend and still have enough for a taxi home n a bag a chips for the missus . Ha them was the days !
Wise words as always. Fascinting I was thinking a similar thought tonight watching some of the Apple announcement. £1,000 for the new top of the line iPhone.... insanity. Yet... sometimes I've burned through that amount in ONE NIGHT and had nothing to show for it.
Imagine if we had spent all this money on things for ourselves, or treats for our families, or on memories. This is what the new journey is all about now. Rewiring our brains to reprogramme our lives so that we can be LESS boring and actually make new exciting memories, and buy nice things for ourselves and others.
Kind of an exciting new start when you think about it.
Chartom - thanks for your comments. And here's a thought. Let's say you were walking down the street and ... found £20! You'd feel great, right. What would you do with it, in our clearer, brighter gambling free world...? Then - imagine having lots of those £20 notes, that haven't been gambled, at the end of the week/month? And imagine this all being possible by simply saying, every day, "Just for today, I will not gamble". And then making it a reality.... as you're doing, day by day.
Abstainer - I share your memories being of a similar vintage to your good self. Good tmes indeed, before mobile phones, when we devoted all our attention to our friends and ... most importantly ... the good lady on our arm... very good times indeed 🙂 !
Adam - like you I've been following the new Apple iPhone X release and can't believe the price point - £1000. Will this be Apple's moment of hubris? Just ridiculous and I think Apple will face a backlash. But, as you say, if you buy one, at least you've got something to show for the money, rather than shove it down the gutter, which is what we are doing in exchange for an hour or so of "enjoyment". Your point about 'rewiring' our brains is spot on - that's what we need to do, as it slowly sinks in that gambling is bad for us and we are free of it the moment we stop. And when we think of gambling, we should be heartened that we're free of it. And every day, we can be grateful, relieved and motivated that we've dodged the gambling misey 'bullet' for another day, because we will not gamble today.
*** Let's all be GF today everyone - we've got so much to gain! ****
Good morning!
I set the levels on this Challenge for good reason, and I would like to spend a moment looking at the STRIVER level - that's being 30 days gambling free in a row - which, co-incidentally, I've just reached and with our fellow team member, the determined Laurainthesky!
Whenever you hit 30 days, you are proving that you can stay gambling-free despite the tempation of extra availability of cash. Because, in 30 Days, you'll have received at least 4 wage packets (if you're paid weekly) or a salary (monthly).
That's what the STRIVER level acknowledges. Because, it has to be said, it's easy to stop gambling when you're skint.
But the STRIVER level acknowledges more than that; because even if you're skint, you might be inclined to do something even worse - and that's Borrow money, and get into (more) debt. And that's just plain disaster, as, sadly, many of us know to our cost.
Bring a STRIVER means more free money is coming in which can reduce the debt or add to savings, and/or spend it on real things to the benefit of you and your loved ones, who don't ask for or need this c**P we put them through.
STRIVER level knowledges the improved finances, but it's even MORE than that!
It proves stickability, the determination you need to really start to make a go of this. It means you are putting into place practical steps to help ensure a better chance of success. It shows character, real gumption in the face of adversity!
It shows you want a better life not just for you but your friends and loved ones. It shows respect, maturity, consideration and belief. And, incidentally, you'll feel better for doing it, despite the occasional pain of the cravings that will start to dissipate over time - more good news!
NEWBIES; are you ready to be a STRIVER? Step forward, and show our group you've got what it takes!
Meantime, just for today, let's not gamble. Just for today!
*** ARE SLOTS YOUR PROBLEM? ***
(My apologies if you've already seen this thread/video)
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/view-if-your-slot-addict
If FOBTs (including roulette), or casino slots, or indeed pub slots are your 'poison' then the Youtube link from this thread is well worth a watch. It's about an hour long, and delves into the serious problems slots ("pokies") are causing in Australia. But more than that, it looks into how their addictiveness is being cynically harnessed by the gambling industry.
It will really make you think, and really make you consider whether you really want to continue piling misery onto yourself. It may remind you - it certainly reminds me - that, day by day, we don't have to do this. We can choose not to place a bet.
Although the video features the flashing lights of the games, believe me, it WON'T make you want to gamble.
eye-opening doc. You really can't believe this industry isn't more heavily regulated when the creators of these games are freely admitting to creating the most optimal 'mousetrap' they can conceive, or the slots music composer state that he creates music with the sole purpose of distracting players from reality and negative thoughts they have about gambling. I appreciate their honesty yet can't understand how they sleep at night knowing full well what they're doing.
Hi Mixer, can I join the challenge thread please? I'm on 10 days gf 🙂
Hi 4D,
You are welcome to join us! You are showing, having hit double figures, an intention to be gambling free. I have read your diary from head to tail too: you're talking the talk and starting to walk the walk.
I am personally looking forward to announcing you as a Striver in 20 days time. You can do this by simply reminding yourself, day by day, that you will be gambling free and, further, building the blocks you're putting in place to make sure you won't gamble.
You are going to be a solid, supportive member of our group 4D, but, most important of all, choose life rather than misery for YOU.
Welcome aboard 🙂
*** The One Word That Matters ***
I was watching a documentary about gangsters a while back. And, more recently, one about the Roughest Pubs in Britain. And, the other day, I watched a YouTube video about office politics.
(Maybe I watch too many programs/videos; but there we are!)
But my point is this: there was a thread running through this eclectic mix of proggies: one word - respect.
Respect is key in this life, if you have it, you avoid 99% of trouble. Handy if you are interacting with gangsters or patrons of particularly clicky pubs, and it will help you deal with and navigate all but the cr**piest bosses at work - sadly, though, there are quite a few of these; swerving them is the best trick here. (And if you are a c*** boss reading this - then shame on you.)
Respect is key in life. Treat others as you would like to be treated, that's the essence of it.
We all have our perceptions of others, and our pet theories of how best to proceed with a gambling free life.
Some swear by GA, others by counselling, others willpower alone, others via a myriad of different ways in combination or isolation.
Truth is, we're all different and one size doesn't fit all. The same applies to how we help others.
For some, a shout of "pull yourself together!" is just the thing to jolt someone into positive action. But for others, it would set them back - through temperament or simply how they're feeling, it isn't gong to help.
So sometimes a little judgement is called for, respectful of that person's potential sensitivities.
I mention all this because it never hurts to remind myself that my sometimes straight-to-the-point approach isnt for everyone. It helps keep me in check.
In short, it's about respect; if we respect others, it proves we respect ourselves.
All good attributes in this gambling free journey to which we aspire. We're not just aiming for a better life, but being better people, too.
I have got to my first target and am continuing the fight. 30 days since I finally accepted the losses and admitted defeat to gambling. I have'nt gambled for 30 days, no urges because I'm done with it. Taking each day as it comes and doing it my own way. I won't be going back to a life of misery.
Can I now be classed as being a 'STRIVER' please!
Can I just mention that the last 30 days I have read this thread on a daily basis and posted on the odd occasion. I know some disagree with the day counting and challenge theme's on the road through recovery. I believe we are all different and will find our own path to acheive the same goal we are all Striving for, a gamble free life. It gives me focus and determination to acheive the gamble free status I am currently living.
Mixer I commend you for this 'challenge' and am looking forward to day 100. That's me checking in on day 30. All the best
Congratulations on your 31 days gf amt, good to see your positive and focussed. I'm with you as regards counting the days, it tells me how far I've come and I relish every gamble free day.
Enjoyed your last post Mixer. I agree it's important to show people respect, including ourselves.
Abstainer reporting in with 129 Days GF.....Yihaaa Woohoo n Yabba dabba doooh
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