LEAD BY EXAMPLE

I think theres many on here that do exactly that. 

I've only been on a few days and the advice I've had has been amazing. 

Hi

I am anon religious person, if I can find a healthy recovery any one can.

The recovery program is all about learning to help myself become much healthier and less vulnerable.

The recovery program is all about healing for me, healing from the pains of self abuse but more importantly healing the hurt little child in me.

I use to think that the recovery program was going to control my life, this was not so, the recovery program was going to help me heal from the pains of my past, not just from the addictions but to help me heal my hurt inner child.

I had unfortunately got in to the unhealthy habit of burying and suppressing my feelings and my emotions.

Over time as I peeled back the onion and exposed more of myself the tears would flow and the healing process would start.

Step 12 is about us demonstrating healthy spiritual values, to become motivated towards spiritual values and I am not a religious person.

Our conscience is based up on healthy spiritual values, sadly when we go against our own conscience we cause our self pains.

Was I a victim in my life, yes for sure, was I a perpetrator in my life, yes for sure, was I a rescuer in my life yes for sure, for me today all of these are very unhealthy habits.

How much time and effort am I willing to invest in to my recovery today. The addictions and obsessions were just the symptoms that I was a very unhealthy emotionally vulnerable person.

Do I escape in any other way today. For me the recovery program is not about who is right or wrong, is not about who is good or bad, it is for me about myself becoming a healthier person emotionally, becoming a healthier person who respects all spiritual values, non religious of course.

I am not able to respect other people until I am able to respect myself, I am not able to love other people until I am able to love myself, I asked my wife Shirley what is love she told me it was giving of your self unconditionally.

Before my recovery my actions and my words were conditional, once in my recovery I got to understand that my unreasonable expectations caused pains up on myself, only once I reduce my expectations and gave of myself unconditionally then I would stop hurting myself and causing myself pain.

No person pleasing today.

No more doing things reluctantly or resentfully today.

By writing down my needs, writing down my wants, and writing down my goals I was going to extend myself in so many ways.

By writing down things I am getting more focused on things in my life.

By writing down things I am getting more clarity and understand setting best sequences to get things done.

Because of my fears and nervousness lack of confidence and low self esteem I found it hard to stay focused on one thing at a time.

Please keep going to meetings, you will benefit from it in so many ways.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Posted by: gadaveuk

Hi

I am anon religious person, if I can find a healthy recovery any one can.

The recovery program is all about learning to help myself become much healthier and less vulnerable.

The recovery program is all about healing for me, healing from the pains of self abuse but more importantly healing the hurt little child in me.

I use to think that the recovery program was going to control my life, this was not so, the recovery program was going to help me heal from the pains of my past, not just from the addictions but to help me heal my hurt inner child.

I had unfortunately got in to the unhealthy habit of burying and suppressing my feelings and my emotions.

Over time as I peeled back the onion and exposed more of myself the tears would flow and the healing process would start.

Step 12 is about us demonstrating healthy spiritual values, to become motivated towards spiritual values and I am not a religious person.

Our conscience is based up on healthy spiritual values, sadly when we go against our own conscience we cause our self pains.

Was I a victim in my life, yes for sure, was I a perpetrator in my life, yes for sure, was I a rescuer in my life yes for sure, for me today all of these are very unhealthy habits.

How much time and effort am I willing to invest in to my recovery today. The addictions and obsessions were just the symptoms that I was a very unhealthy emotionally vulnerable person.

Do I escape in any other way today. For me the recovery program is not about who is right or wrong, is not about who is good or bad, it is for me about myself becoming a healthier person emotionally, becoming a healthier person who respects all spiritual values, non religious of course.

I am not able to respect other people until I am able to respect myself, I am not able to love other people until I am able to love myself, I asked my wife Shirley what is love she told me it was giving of your self unconditionally.

Before my recovery my actions and my words were conditional, once in my recovery I got to understand that my unreasonable expectations caused pains up on myself, only once I reduce my expectations and gave of myself unconditionally then I would stop hurting myself and causing myself pain.

No person pleasing today.

No more doing things reluctantly or resentfully today.

By writing down my needs, writing down my wants, and writing down my goals I was going to extend myself in so many ways.

By writing down things I am getting more focused on things in my life.

By writing down things I am getting more clarity and understand setting best sequences to get things done.

Because of my fears and nervousness lack of confidence and low self esteem I found it hard to stay focused on one thing at a time.

Please keep going to meetings, you will benefit from it in so many ways.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Dave - are you actually a real person, or some kind of automated bot?...

...which has somehow malfunctioned and now spouts the GA gospel on a gambling addiction forum randomly and repetitively. Always out of context!

If you want to do missionary work, try to engage with what’s being said! Or you just seem a bit mad.

Louis

Hi

Sorry I am a person.

I am a non religious person so I do not do missionary work.

My actions and words match my recovery.

I am still healing even today.

I do not live in fear.

Sorry if you feel threatened by my recovery.

Thank you for your honesty.

I just hope that people learn from my experiences and I am not a text person.

The recovery program works for those who are committed and want to become healthy and productive.

Things I use to think were impossible are possible today.

I use to fear computers, not so today.

I use to fear the opposite s*x, not so today.

I use to think that money would make me happy, not so today.

I use to think that paying back my debts would make me happy, not so today.

I use to think that money would make me feel successful, not so today.

I use to feel lonely, so today.

Thank you again for your feedback.

Sorry if you think I am preaching.

Love and peace to everyone.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Posted by: cardhue

Posted by: gadaveuk

Hi

I am anon religious person, if I can find a healthy recovery any one can.

The recovery program is all about learning to help myself become much healthier and less vulnerable.

The recovery program is all about healing for me, healing from the pains of self abuse but more importantly healing the hurt little child in me.

I use to think that the recovery program was going to control my life, this was not so, the recovery program was going to help me heal from the pains of my past, not just from the addictions but to help me heal my hurt inner child.

I had unfortunately got in to the unhealthy habit of burying and suppressing my feelings and my emotions.

Over time as I peeled back the onion and exposed more of myself the tears would flow and the healing process would start.

Step 12 is about us demonstrating healthy spiritual values, to become motivated towards spiritual values and I am not a religious person.

Our conscience is based up on healthy spiritual values, sadly when we go against our own conscience we cause our self pains.

Was I a victim in my life, yes for sure, was I a perpetrator in my life, yes for sure, was I a rescuer in my life yes for sure, for me today all of these are very unhealthy habits.

How much time and effort am I willing to invest in to my recovery today. The addictions and obsessions were just the symptoms that I was a very unhealthy emotionally vulnerable person.

Do I escape in any other way today. For me the recovery program is not about who is right or wrong, is not about who is good or bad, it is for me about myself becoming a healthier person emotionally, becoming a healthier person who respects all spiritual values, non religious of course.

I am not able to respect other people until I am able to respect myself, I am not able to love other people until I am able to love myself, I asked my wife Shirley what is love she told me it was giving of your self unconditionally.

Before my recovery my actions and my words were conditional, once in my recovery I got to understand that my unreasonable expectations caused pains up on myself, only once I reduce my expectations and gave of myself unconditionally then I would stop hurting myself and causing myself pain.

No person pleasing today.

No more doing things reluctantly or resentfully today.

By writing down my needs, writing down my wants, and writing down my goals I was going to extend myself in so many ways.

By writing down things I am getting more focused on things in my life.

By writing down things I am getting more clarity and understand setting best sequences to get things done.

Because of my fears and nervousness lack of confidence and low self esteem I found it hard to stay focused on one thing at a time.

Please keep going to meetings, you will benefit from it in so many ways.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Dave - are you actually a real person, or some kind of automated bot?...

...which has somehow malfunctioned and now spouts the GA gospel on a gambling addiction forum randomly and repetitively. Always out of context!

If you want to do missionary work, try to engage with what’s being said! Or you just seem a bit mad.

Louis

i second this, was a bit afraid to say at the risk of causing uproar, but perhaps copying and pasting random GA quotes (also readily available online) isn't what people want to hear. I had it on my thread and to be honest i didn't read beyond the first line as its the same in every other thread. Not engaging, and of little to no help once read for the first time. Its not personal advice, its not individual response, and it becomes very boring.

to the OP, there are people who offer help on here daily and have certainly helped me so very much a sense of giving back (bdog, K2, ALN, to name a few).

Hi

If you ask my wife yes I am a bit mad.

Not in a angry way, but for sure an unusual person.

The question I asked of myself how come people were so motivated and I was not so.

It is only when I got motivated healing and recovery worked for me.

I use to blame every one and every thing for teh way my life use to be.

For sure I was a victim.

For sure I became a perpetrator.

It was my decision to no longer be a victim or a perpetrator.

Do I want to react in unhealthy ways or to interact in healthy ways.

Do much did I want to be healthy.

Love and peace to everyone.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Can we talk to your wife please Dave :)) 

Posted by: cardhue

Dave - are you actually a real person, or some kind of automated bot?...

...which has somehow malfunctioned and now spouts the GA gospel on a gambling addiction forum randomly and repetitively. Always out of context!

If you want to do missionary work, try to engage with what’s being said! Or you just seem a bit mad.

Louis

????

Brilliant - Dave I'm assuming even you read this and had a little chuckle to yourself right? ?

To be honest, I don't think people are so much threatened by your recovery, perhaps more that you may feel a little bit threatened by peoples responses?

I remember when I read my first gadave post - it was so brilliantly insightful for me.

Since then I feel the gravitas of what you write has gradually diminished - mainly due to the generic format which you seem to follow more and more these days:

First part - empathy based on experience and understanding - relevant to the topic or previous post - always great stuff

Second part - subjective response based on what youre reading - used to be insightful but lately it's become a bit of a cut and paste exercise so in turn loses its subjectivity and context

Third part - GA preaching. Again, cut and paste... Context completely out the window

I am a massive advocate of GA and a stalwart member, however I am also mindful that some people may be averse to the idea of such an intense and all-encumbasing treatment program - for some Gamcare is pitched at the right level of support for them and for it to continue being effective for those people we all need to be aware and mindful that our vested interests in other recovery formats may not have an appropriate place in these people's diaries.

moreover you'll never do it justice by just cutting and pasting the best passages from the program, so why bother - if anything you're only serving to trivialise the program and turn people off it by doing this - it's power and true force is in the experiential experience, surely this is only bit worth mentioning and none of the other stuff?

We each have a social responsibility to

te m P e r what we say on here, especially in each others diary and newcomers... Dave think about it - if someone has just done a bucketload of money and are in bits - they are completely powerless to the addiction and just don't know where to turn right now, they really don't want to be hearing about their inner child and how it needs healing. They need practical advice to get through each day and stay afloat until they are back on their feet again and they have more strength. At that point I'm sure you're advice would go down well... It did for me - but only at that point though.

Overwhelming day 1 people with deep and meaningful personal insights will only serve to trivialise their understanding of the addiction and trivialise their understanding of the function of this platform. Surely it's about pitching your advice and responses according to the recipients current situation and perceived level of understanding re the addiction?

Having said all this, you can write whatever the heck you want on your own diaries of course! I'm just concerned about people just entering the forum and being scared off by 'too much too soon'

I still enjoy your entries but am struggling to get to the end these days... Come on Dave, need you back on your A game mate! ?

Hi

First part - empathy based on experience and understanding - relevant to the topic or previous post - always great stuff

Your reference empathy based, empathy for others only occurs once you are healed and are able to have empathy for your self, only then you can have empathy for some one else.

Second part - subjective response based on what you are reading - used to be insightful but lately it's become a the refernce to c*t and paste is often short cut to help people understand that recovery only happens once we stop hurting our self and abstain from unhealthy habits.

The reason I refer to deep levels of recovery is that people can relate but not yet able to articulate or able to understand their emotional triggers.

Third part - GA preaching. My ability to relate to our vulnerability is not near how recovery explains both healthy aspects of or recovery and a better understanding conflict pride being unhealthy, ego confused with fear based issues, or why honesty is very important to our recovery and the ability to over come fear of emotional intimacy.

The recovery program even states it is not important to understand why we gamble. 

If we understand the sequences and our emotional vulnerability we can heal and over come our fears of emotional intimacy.

For me GA opens up talking inticially but often rooms are fear limited by people not able to or willing to explore sharing of deep therapies.

Some people may feel threatened by such people exposing them self I understand yet why stunt those people.

Treatment program is there for people who are fearless and open up to deep recovery possibilities.

Gamcare is at a healthy level of support.

Yet once people open up they will be encouraged to seek healing and understanding.

These people's needing help is not determined by time or diaries, it is often when they can relate to others people experiences and are able to open up more stimulation and understanding.

You use the wording it is not justice by just cutting and pasting the best passages from the program, not so you will note that not one of my passages is or has been cut from a recovery program, this is all of my own material.

I do not think any of my material in any way trivialises how important the recovery program is.

The recovery program is often heavy in God and religion quotes yet what a person comes to believe in is not what is important, as long as they come to believe in them self their healthy actions and their healthy words their expression and their healthy recovery.

If the people who regulate Gamcare think for one instance that my material is adverse to peoples recovery they just have to say so.

That would be all I need to hear.

Thank you for your comments.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

There you go Dave, that was a much better post - I felt like you were talking to me rather than talking at me ???

Take care mate ?