Hi all,
Just thought I would share some thoughts on my experience of problem gambling. I think the worse thing that happened to me was that I won my first bet. I won £700 and I bought a new TV and a new bed. I remember lying in my bed watching something on my new TV feeling rather pleased with myself... little did I know what was to come.
I had a big winning streak betting on random football teams winning by 2 or so goals after the 70th minute in leagues and teams I had never heard of. I would choose 3 to 7 matches at once as to get better odds and I must have won 16 in a row. In conjunction with this, I used to check betting prediction sites trying to find value bets to bet on. I thought I was on to a winner, easy money... I couldn’t believe how easy all of this was.
Then came the losses... at first I was only losing my winnings and as such didn’t feel like it was really my own money at first but the problem was, I was wrong. I was feeling like it was my own money and the feeling was horrible. I chased losses and losses and I won the money back, I broke even. I thought when I got to this stage that I would feel awesome and call it quits as I wasn’t up or down but no... instead I felt like. I had wasted my time doing all of this and needed to get something back for my time I wanted to do one last bet and then stop. So, I won £1000 and that was pure profit but when I got that, yet again I was thinking that I could keep this going and I lost it and then some. Yet again I wanted to just break even and I would feel like quitting for sure. I was wrong.
I guess that was my biggest take home from all of this, I didn’t feel like what I thought I would or at least it didn’t take long for me to feel different and want more, I would be greedy when I thought I would just be happy to break even. The mistake was placing a bet full stop, my psychology wouldn’t allow me to simply be happy losing a few quid or making a few quid. I had to create a mental note that any suggestion of placing a bet was simply not going to work.
I remember losing a £5 once and I couldn’t even accept this, I used to lay on smarkets results that just should happen like its 3-1 to a team and the opposition has a red card and then hey won 4-3 and I lost £400... all over £5. My last two bets were trying to recover a £700 loss. I won them both and yet it made me almost physically sick waiting for the results to come in. I put £5000 on those bets to get back £700. This was the final straw for me, I wanted to finish for good more than ever.
I haven’t placed a bet in over 6 months since these 2 bets. I know I simply cannot bet at all, I will never win if I bet. I am so relieved that I finally realised this without it destroying my life completely.
Chris
Hi Chris, what an honest post and I hope other forum users read it. May I ask what has helped you to stop and maintain stopping for six months? Best wishes, Phil.
Thanks Phil, the willpower and struggle to ignore and push out any rationalisation of why it’s ok to do it this time, such as those things mentioned above in my post and self excluding from all the sites I used. Filling my life with other activities and trying to focus on other things. I think it also helps that I have fully accepted the losses and don’t have any self blame anymore, I think this is in part because I believe part of the problem is my brain is setup in such a way to allow gambling addiction to occur without it being totally my fault.
I have also removed triggers from my life such as never browsing any pro gambling material or betting predictor sites, not going to horse/dog racing with friends or casinos as some people I know can gamble without any problems just for fun. I have tried to distant myself from the concept of easy fast money at all costs also.
234 Days GF
I am please to say I am still gambling free, I haven’t had the urge to gamble and ad spent more time on here trying to be supportive for others going through gambling addictions, I find this helps me keep on track. Chris
Wow! 276 days gamble free. It must feel fantastic to say to out loud. Well done and congratulations, what an achievement. You must have really but in some hard work. Thanks for taking the time to visit my diary. 🙂
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