So when i came clean about my addiction i came clean also about the fact that i was a total liar, today i was challenged to tell the truth or run and hide. I got a call saying i owed an unpaid balance on an old bank account, i felt so annoyed and pretty sick, it not a great deal of money but it upset me. I used to hide behind things but today the first thing i did after the call was tell my fianceГ© the truth. I wasn't sure how she would feel being that it meant i owed money on another thing but she wasn't concerned with that she was just happy that i was up front and told her the truth.
Too many times i chose what i thought was the easy way out and hid behind things that i was frightened loved ones would be disappointed in knowing. I have come to realise that whatever annoying things financially come up, hiding behind them is not the answer but being honest can help solve the issue faster.
I am past my 1st month clean from gambling and lying about things more to the point, as my fianceГ© said "we need honesty otherwise without it there is no point". It has been a long month and really stressful but I feel I am making strides I have another counselling session tomorrow and so far am doing well from each of them taking in more advice each time.
Hi Matty
You are absolutely right; we can run, but can't hide from this. The more we gamble, the worse it gets and eventually we lose everything. That's the nature of it.
It's always better to come clean before the **** hits the fan, but, sadly, that sometimes doesn't happen.
What your partner needs to see is not just what you're going to about it (for which you've made a start, e.g. The counselling) but longer term steps.
The gambling devil is very patient and will wait for a weak spot; that is, after a few months maybe when you think you have this addiction tamed. Which is a false flag; this addiction lies dormant in us forever.
So consider handing over your finances over to your partner. She'll thank you, will be honoured by the trust and love you have shown her. Emusculating? No; a sign of strength on your part.
I wish you the best of luck. You seem a really geniune, head-screwed-on kind of chap. Hope you don't mind my honest advice!
Mixer
Mixer
I don't mind your honest advice at all, i have already handed over my finances to her, my monthly wages get paid to her account and she gives me allowances. I also get a receipt for every item i purchase even a 50p loaf of bread because i want her to trust.me and if i am by myself at all i txt her or snapchat her every few minutes so she knows where i am and what i am doing.
Hiding behind the lies and this addiction for 14 years has been dreadful i look back on all of it and i just think where the f*** could i be now? Hindsight is a wonderful thing hey.
I am so lucky she has given me the chance 33 days clean today and counselling session number 3 tomorrow. Yes i feel better about my future but i have a hell of a lot of work to do yet.
Matty
Good Man, Matty. You're on the right track, and I know, you know, day by day, you can stay there. You're right, it's going to be hard work - but very rewarding. And you're up for it, right?
Let's not dwell on the past, learn from it, of course, but now's the time to show, and keep showing - consistently - what you're made of.
I'm on Day 60 - and doing the same!
All the best my friend,
Mixer
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