HiÂ
8 months ago I had a relapse with my gambling and got into 13k of debt. I got a loan and I've paid it back each month and I can afford to. The experience was so traumatising I haven't gambled again , the way it made me feel was horrific
The thing I didnt do but should have was tell my partner , the deep sense of shame and being scared stopped me. I haven't had a good life, he's the first stable and loving person in my life, he's my safety and I don't want to lose him.Â
Are mortage is due for renewal, I thought it would be OK because we were staying with the same lender but he's gone to a broker , a broker who's a family friend ( the horror) the broker has just asked for one wage slip to see what's out there for us , for free.
Does that mean their going to do a credit check? I'm planning in telling my partner this weekend when we are both alone together and have space to talk but my other half sent over is wage slip today , I said I would on Monday. Will they do a credit check with his info? I want to tell my partner myself and don't want to be outedÂ
I feel like the worse human on then planet and can't even explain why. I hate myself and want to just disappear.Â
Hi Becky,
Firstly, well done for recovering so well after gambling all those months ago. You’ve been able to use this to learn from and make positive changes. I can hear how painful it was and that you don’t want to feel that way again.
I’m afraid we cannot advise around the mortgage situation, but I wanted to reach out to let you know we are here to support you. Its understandable that shame and fear have stopped you reaching out. Please know you can talk to us any time without judgment. Our helpline and live chats are here 24/7. You don’t need to be alone with this.
Wishing you all the best,
Jamie
Forum Admin
Hey Becky,Â
Im sure that if you’ve paid the loan on time each month then your credit rating won’t be affected? In fact, it does put your rating up when you borrow money and can show you’ve paid it back every month and on time?Â
if they do a credit check I don’t think it will reveal to the person what loans etc you may have?? I’m sure it doesn’t?! 🤔
Hope it all works out for you and your partner understands! I took out a huge amount of debt in my husband’s name and he never once made me feel bad about what I had done, so there is hope!!Â
Claire x
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