Well I feel I've already destroyed my life on slot machines. I've spent so many thousands since my habit started 5 years ago, it totally took hold of me and was my escape from the reality of my life.
I was spending most my day and night wasting money on slot machines and when the funds run out I would desperately try win on the "free" chat promos
I had 90k in my bank before this started and I've ended up on Universal credit,
I've not been paying my bills or rent, UC want to see my bank statements 3 months worth and it's made me hit rock bottom today, I don't know what they will do to me when they find out the mess I'm in,
My other half is aware of my situation now and will support my recovery but I feel so guilty and broken for what I've done, my heart hurts.
I don't know what to do or how things are going to be OK, I'm gutted that I've done what I've done and chucked all that money away, I kept thinking maybe just maybe I will win big and make everything okay
And after 5 years of hitting the sites hard it was my "normal" day
I'm lost.
Hi,
Well we all know that the last bet trying to hit it big is a non starter, if you did win, guess what would happen.
You need to clear you mind from what has happened, what you have lost monetarily and if possible thoughts of a return to betting for a quick fix. Ask yourself a question, how motivated am I too stop this merry go round, because it will crush you eventually if you don't. If you truly want to stop, it can happen. But emotionally you will need to invest as much energy and perseverance as when you were gambling. Take advantage of all the help available through this and other agencies, take recovery seriously but give yourself a break. You have been through a lot, be kind to yourself, and also remember the people around you who care, they need support and reassurance from you that you mean business. We all want you to succeed, go for it and be a supportive member of our chat room.
Hey,
Well done for reaching out, it’s one of the hardest things to do. But please remember, you’re not alone.
Forget about the money lost, you won’t ever be able to get it back by gambling. I know it’s really hard, but don’t look back, only forward now.
Have you heard of Gordon Moody? They have retreat and counselling programmes and I’d highly recommend. I learned so much about gambling and myself, my triggers and to cope with the feelings and urges you may get.
Be kind to yourself and don’t feel guilty - this will be a boulder in the way of your recovery. Take one day at a time, one day not gambling is huge!
I took out a huge amount of debt in my husband’s name and he has never once made me feel bad about what was happening to me. You don’t just choose to gamble your life away, it’s an illness.
Wishing you all the luck and come back here / on the group chats for any support, it’s brilliant here and has helped me massively. I’m currently 219 days gamble free.
Claire x
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