Hi there,
I have decided that I can't gamble anymore. I'm so addicted and whenever I get the urge to gamble I can't think of anything else. It all stared when my mum passed away with cancer a few years ago and I was only 17. I then Turnt 18 and decided to do football accumulators. Only spending a maximum of £5 a week. I got a few good wins and then realised there was game sections and casino sections on certain sites! I have then go stuck in the horrible world of online slots and roulette. 3 years down the line and I still can't stop! I feel writing this will help as I don't feel confident enough to GA meetings. But now the addiction is so bad that I am in over 5000 pounds worth of debt with a horrific credit score. Any money I get I just gamble wage weekly. I even consider gambling bill money just incase I can win myself some more money! Just to have to myself. I have stolen of family to fund my addiction. I make up lies about borrowing money for petrol etc when I actually use it to gamble. I have no savings and no money until then next week I get paid which then just gets wasted again. Whenever I lose the money after a session I feel so down and emotional and normally burst into tears and feel down the next day and just feel worthless. I've even contacted samaritans at times I've felt that low. I want my life to change so I can enjoy my future! I'm only 21 and this has to be the start so I can have a great life. I want to have savings and be able to enjoy myself I also struggle to keep money in my account and feel like I should gamble it to make more or just buy things I'm not to sure. Whenever I get the urge I'm just going to come on this site and post on this thread. Sorry for the long message but I had to get it all of my chest! Best of luck to everyone who is recovering we can do it!!!!!
Well done on posting here mate, first step is admitting we have the problem. My story is very similar to yours, tried to beat it before but the reality was that i loved doing my sports bets. I could control these 80% of the time and thought if I could just controll the other 20% where i just do insane stuff like backing virtual races or spending fortunes on slots I would be ok. The reality was I am compulsive gambler who cannot stop it took me to hit rock bottom before the penny dropped (no pun intended) but thankfully I eventually came clean to my partner (again). The difference for me was attending GA, it really showed me the path I need to take. 6 months later I am still bet free and my debt is coming down slowly but surely. My partner controls the money and has access to my Clear Score account so she can see all my debt etc so I dont take out any more stupid loans.
Life is so much better now I know that once i stay bet free each day it will get better. Good luck with your recovery
It’s horrible how this eats away at our lives but we have urges to go back. Like Joe-90 I enjoyed my sports bets and can frequently pick winners, does that matter though? No because We always give it back and more. We play on to prolong that dopamine release. We are addictied to it, money becomes an afterthought when we chase it. We can’t win because we can’t stop. Even if you have a lucky streak, if you continue to play in a system designed with a house advantage then what is going to happen? Of course we lose. Why so many people play this fixed game is a tragedy. Why does everyone buy the lie? It’s advertised and glorified so much. When we win we become arrogant and believe it’s easy. All part of the plan for the bookmakers. They are fully aware what will happen in most scenarios. Our brains are not set up for this, gambling is pathetic and we must leave it behind.
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