Needing help. Lost cause at the age of 21

Morning.

Nobody wants this type of addiction but our brains are so clogged in our own problems that we can not see out from the c**P we have been shoveling. So we run back to the only thing that gives us some meaning and excitement for a few moments. You sound like you have some S*t. to work out. You also sound like you need o talk with some people. 

First, you need to decide to own your problems.  Your family can only bail you out so far. 

Second. You need to get help from others. You can not sit at home on your sofa and work it out in your brain. You need to go to meetings if ga is your choice. You may want to find a couch by a psychologist. Something needs to be done and you need to do it.

My advice is to come clean at home. Regardless of the consequences. That is owning your s**t and taking responsibility. Have a plan. Take charge. Decide to get well and you will. Like the bird Phoenix, you will need to go through the fire somewhere. It will sting but it has got to be done. And last but not least BE STRONG now. No one should take the easy way or the cowardly way out. That is for losers. You are not one of them because you are here. That shows how strong you are. You just need to believe in yourself. You can do anything you want to. Just do it.

taking 10 mins out of my busy morning to offer some encouragement

first off EVERYONE has a c**P job at 21 even the people who pretend they don't 

to be honest i was probably in the exactly the same financial position as you at 21

i took a 7 grand loan out bought a stupid car i didn't need and wasted the rest on booze , holidays ,women and gambling ( ok maybe not wasted on the women and holidays 😉 

by the time i was 24 i had something like 4 grand on credit cards a 1.5K overdraft and 5K left on the loan 

my repayments were something ridiculous like £700 a month i was only earning £1100 i can vividly remember sitting in the toilet in my c**P job thinking Jesus i am f@cked 

i hated that job too , mundane office filled with middle age mundane  workers .....i wanted to go travelling so badly but kept wasting hundreds in the casino looking for a quick fix 

i hit a bad spell in 2104 and can remember blowing upwards of 1K in a single weekend it all came to a head in 2015 when my wages would get paid and the next day they would literally be gone 

saw an add on Facebook for insolvency and without realising what i was really doing i ended up in a 5 year IVA 

it actually turned out to be one of the best decisions i made because it took away all the pressure of paying back the debt and forced me to manage my money better dont get me wrong the first 2 years were tough REALLY tough 

but then by 2017 slowly but surely things started improving the debt was reducing , i was being smarter with my money , i got a better job closer to home and a girlfriend started reading books and learning life hacks

last year i made the last repayment on the IVA , i had to do some creative accounting as my income had increased so much over the years they wanted me to pay more in......a couple of dodgy payslips sorted that out 

finally i was free , and somehow i'd built a 20K pot of cash and investments up along the way 

today i am 29 , i don't owe anyone anything , i am in the process of building my own media company , i bought a new car outright with cash last month 

within 3 years i will be a millionaire 

i accomplished all of this within around 5 years ( call it 10 by the time im finished ) 

you are 21 years old you could make another 3 years worth of mistakes and still have time to sort yourself out 

labelling yourself a lost cause is ridiculous ..... get your a**e in gear get out of the supermarket pay the debt and stop gambling 

good luck 

Hi decisions,

I am so glad that you have written this; it sounds like you’re really struggling at the moment but please know that you are not alone and there is a lot of advice, and more importantly support, available to you.

I can imagine that it took a lot of courage to write these words, and we are here to help. You have made a really positive step today just by reaching out. As I am sure you will find, the Forum is a welcoming and supportive space which allows you to talk to others who may also be experiencing similar issues to yourself.

I hear that you are feeling hopeless as a result of the debts that you are paying off currently.  Well done for getting Gamstop.  There are other blocks and supports available including 1;1 support sessions to help you explore the impact gambling is having on your life. 

I would encourage you to contact the helpline on 0808 8020 133 or via our live chat available from the website https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now/ both of which are open seven days a week, 24 hours a day and where one of our advisers will be able to talk, for as long as you need, and look at all the support available to you.

Wishing you all the very best,

ClareH
Forum Admin

hi im new here aswell so i dont really know what to say at the moment im a bit lost but i know your not a lost cause any addiction can be beaten i guess but i dont think will power alone will do iv been looking around this site for a week or so now and it seems to be helping people and its very inspiring actually so lets stick with it and see where we go together ill leave you with this qoute i found and i say it every day 

" Addiction is giving up everything for 1 thing recovery is giving up 1 thing for everything " 

good luck and dont think about the future just think about today it has helped me with my 5 days gf

Your 21 bud and in a s**t place, we’ve all been there regardless of age. But your young, pack the gambling in, get your head down and work, work, work. Maybe look at other opportunities to get a better job? You can only help yourself, sulking to yourself won’t help you. Chin up and get motivated.

it really isnt that easy as to "pack the gambling in " have you blocked your card for gambling MONZO is a great bank for this and also get gamblock on your fone its £3 a month and blocks all gambling sites its a very good start while your early in your recovery and its helping me 5 days GF good luck mate your not alone 

"Addiction is giving up everything for one thing , Recovery is giving up one thing for everything "